


Where All My Journeys End

by Enmuse (Scifiroots)



Series: Journeys [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon, Amnesia, Angst, Community: sabriel_mini, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Psychological Torture, Religious Themes & References, Romance, Sam & Gabriel Mini-Bang Challenge, Schmoop, Subtext, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-19
Updated: 2011-10-19
Packaged: 2017-10-24 18:46:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 42,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/266676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scifiroots/pseuds/Enmuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A tale in three acts beginning in canon season five and continuing after with reinterpretation. Act 1: Team Free Will, with a recently added team member, struggles to maintain faith in their cause and fight to stop the Apocalypse. Act 2: Interlude, in which the dead don't stay dead, a demon sticks around, and Dean's drunken brainstorm pans out. Act 3: Sam has trouble adjusting after his time in Hell. Castiel returns to ask for help finding a militant group of angels just in time for an amnesiac Gabriel to show up to demand what the heck is going on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Act One: May you find some comfort here

**Author's Note:**

  * For [qbiggerthanlove](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=qbiggerthanlove).



> My first SPN fic. And I initially thought that it would be difficult to accomplish even 5,000 words for the sabriel_mini! This monster of a fic came of it. It's been a real adventure and its success is 80+% due to qbiggerthanlove who was there every step of the way. (For a month, literally around every day for chatting through several hurdles!) So this story is dedicated to Q since it's not her birthday or holiday times yet so I can't quite justify getting her a Sammy plushie. ;)
> 
> See the [masterpost on my LJ](http://enmuse.livejournal.com/108765.html) for the fic soundtrack/mix & the lovely art by chaosraven!

Gabriel showed up in the midst of a hunt. Dean and Sam walked out of the latest victim's house and found the archangel sitting cross-legged on the Impala's roof with a sucker between his lips.

"How the hell did you find us?" Dean snapped, gaze darting around in search of other angels.

With a roll of his eyes Gabriel dismissed their concerns. "Relax, the other mooks after you are complete idiots or you'd have been hauled in by now. You're really not that hard to find, you know. Simple guesswork to figure out what sort of hunt's going to attract you – then all it takes is a little waiting."

"What do you want?" Sam asked warily.

The angel jumped down from the car and snapped away the sucker. "Let's say I'm giving you kids a trial run. I'll admit it's rather impressive you've lasted this long."

Dean glowered. "We don't have time for your damn tests."

Sam stepped in front of Dean, casting his brother a quelling look before turning his focus to Gabriel. "What do you mean by trial run?"

Gabriel spread his hands in a placating gesture. "I just want to hang around a few days. Get front row seats to the Winchester show, sit in on your anti-Apocalypse pow-wows. That's it, I swear."

Although Dean's expression remained sour, he didn't protest and Sam knew they were grasping at straws for any bit of help they could get. Before agreeing, he clarified, "If you decide to leave, you just leave. You're not handing us over?"

"Oh please, like those heavenly idiots deserve to see my gorgeous face." Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Nah, if you guys are a dead end, I'm outta here – it's time for a holiday. Party like it's 1999 time."

Sam glanced back at Dean. His brother's expression had gone blank, about the closest to agreement as he was going to give. Sam took a moment longer to consider their limited options, then extended his hand. "Okay."

Gabriel stared at the offered hand dubiously but accepted the handshake.

*

“What do you expect will happen?” Sam asked one night when he was alone in the latest motel room with Gabriel.

“Let's see, the world ending?”

Sam scowled. “You're a happy ray of sunshine. Thank you for your inspiring speech.”

“That's what I'm here for. Well, that and watching you jokers tackle your side jobs.”

“Just because the world's falling apart doesn't mean we can ignore the smaller stuff.”

“I thought you humans liked to kick back for a last hurrah before major trials. Enjoy your last breaths and all.”

“Like I said, thanks for the uplifting speech. We can fight this, you know. If you don't think we can, why are you still here?”

Gabriel shrugged languidly, expression passive. The lack of a familiar smirk lessened Sam's frustration until the ever-present exhaustion sapped away the last of his irritation. “Look, can you just... Dean's giving up and Cas is losing faith. I just need to... hold onto something. Anything. Can you not take that away?”

The archangel muttered something under his breath. A moment later he snapped his fingers and an open book popped into existence in Sam's lap. "Should detail the best way to handle the monster of the week," he said in way of explanation.

Sam blinked stupidly at the well-thumbed pages. By the time he looked up to say thanks, Gabriel had gone.

*

Sam strained against the soft-lined restraints as another wave of pain rolled through his entire body. Even his damn teeth ached. The last time he had to go through detox, he hadn't binged on demon blood to the same extent. Famine's demise may have gotten rid of the cravings of most of his victims, but Sam knew he wouldn't be so lucky.

He'd been free of the cravings for months. Whatever or whoever (God?) had put the Winchesters on a plane, temporarily out of harm's way, had also seemed to purge the gut-deep conviction that he needed demon blood.

The next wave of pain brought along a swell of anger and he screamed. Fuck it. Castiel had been reduced to primitive, _human_ gluttony for meat; had he been mortal, he would have died from the overeating. Sam had fought for over a day against the sickening cramps and feverish desire to taste demon blood on his tongue. He had held out longer than he should have been able to, and even after—

The cot began to shake as Sam's telekinetic powers manifested in short, uncontrolled bursts. He clenched his hands and bit his lip, trying to control it. _Why? Why am I even trying? It'll fade. All of it just burns out._ It would take hours (how long had he been trapped here in the panic room?), but eventually the demon blood and its effects would drain away.

When his lip began to bleed, Sam unclenched his jaw. He hadn't planned on the loud, drawn-out sob that followed. His eyes stung with tears of frustration as his tongue tasted his bloody lip. His heart pounded against his ribs so hard that he felt like his chest would burst. _Wrong blood, wrong. Need, need, need,_ repeated in his mind with every heartbeat.

He didn't know how long the episode lasted or when he'd begun to form words instead of screaming nonsense; when he regained a level of coherency, Sam realized he was vacillating between rough curses and half-formed prayers. He broke off the litany with a frustrated sob. The cot had stopped shaking but his limbs trembled from hours of tension.

Sam knew he had been angry about something. His exhausted mind struggled to recapture his thoughts from earlier, desperate for a distraction as he slid into another nightmarish stage of detox. He remembered seeing Cas on the floor, hunched over a basin of raw hamburger. He remembered how it felt to turn away from the temptation of demon blood on his knife, the struggle to wipe it clean before he could give in. He remembered the expression on Dean's face when Sam had reached out and torn the demons from their stolen bodies.

This time he had to struggle to keep anger at the forefront as despair threatened to overwhelm him. Anger was an appropriate response. Anger at Famine, at the moronic demons who didn't have the smarts to realize they were being sacrificed as a meal, at Castiel for succumbing to Famine's power, at Gabriel for not being around on the hunt, and at Dean. Dean who had sounded angry and looked disappointed when Sam admitted to his renewed cravings. Dean who had looked scared when Sam had destroyed Famine. Dean who had convinced Sam to let himself be tied down again in the panic room.

He felt so much anger over the fact that Dean had somehow been beyond Famine's reach. Dean didn't get it, didn't understand just how deep desperation could go. Famine was gone but Sam could still feel the desperate _need_ gnawing at his gut and digging its way from the inside out. If he didn't shake apart from the withdrawal, he thought he might be shredded from the inside.

Sam didn't realize how much of his thoughts he voiced aloud. He would scream and sob until long after he went hoarse and his mouth dried.

~

Sam felt like he barely had the strength to open his eyes when he heard the telltale clanks of the panic room's door unlocking. He managed to part his eyelids enough that he could watch blearily as the door opened. He felt hollow and fragile, yet impossibly heavy. He didn’t even have enough energy to feel more than fleeting surprise when the person that stepped into the room first was Gabriel. Castiel followed a couple steps behind. No Bobby, no Dean.

Apparently guessing, or reading, Sam's thoughts, Gabriel said, "Finally asleep."

Castiel made the very human movement of rubbing a hand over his face. "Gabriel facilitated their rest."

Sam tried to grunt his approval but only a strange whistle of breath passed his lips. He thought he saw the angels flinch at the noise, but he couldn't be sure.

The restraints released him with a snap from Gabriel. Castiel approached with a thermos. He stood at the side of the cot awkwardly for a moment before Gabriel gave a huff of frustration and pulled Sam into a sitting position. Sam slumped against the archangel, willing to accept that right now he didn't have the strength to struggle.

The water tasted wrong as it slid over his tongue and down his throat. Sam didn't know if that was because he was so dehydrated or if his body still craved demon blood. Regardless, the cool water eased the parched sensation of his mouth and tongue.

"The shit you get into," Gabriel muttered against Sam's hair. Sam half-laid against the archangel, his shoulders pressing awkwardly at Gabriel's chest, and his head propped against the curve of Gabriel's neck and lower jaw.

"Brother," Castiel's voice held a note of warning. If Sam had been able to, he would've told Castiel not to bother.

"Seriously, _bro_ ," Gabriel started off snappishly; "taking on Famine?" His voice changed, taking on the more familiar tone of the Trickster. "I can't believe I missed it. Bet the bastard's expression was priceless when he realized he was beat! And you really thought a cupid would sully their busiest, lovey-dovey day with cannibalistic tendencies?"

Castiel sounded offended although Sam could no longer make out the words. He let his eyes fall closed and he relaxed, truly relaxed, into the warmth and strength of the body holding him up. Sam smiled as he drifted off, strangely content with the sounds of angelic brothers bickering.

*

The first time "it" happened, Sam had been trying to fend off the persistent advances of a drunk, middle-aged woman. She was either oblivious to or purposefully ignoring Sam's obvious attempts to give her the brush-off. Just as Sam was about to despair of ever getting clear of her, Gabriel appeared at his elbow.

"'Cuse me," Gabriel directed at the woman with a toothy grin. Before Sam could think to question the situation, Gabriel's hands linked behind Sam's head and tugged him down. Their lips smashed together, awkward at first, but it took less than a second to improve the angle. Sam found himself perfectly happy to follow Gabriel's lead – parting his lips at the urge of a tongue, licking the edge of teeth, tilting his head just enough to catch a lip with a quick bite.

Somewhere in the haze that was their surroundings – a bar, Sam remembered, a bar the victims frequented – a woman whistled loudly, giggled a little, and then she seemed to disappear. _Everything_ seemed to disappear. When Sam turned his head to gasp for breath, he opened his eyes and took in the sight of tasteful beige walls, the simple anonymous furniture of a hotel room, and a wide bed. He made a quizzical sound as Gabriel nipped along his jaw and down his neck.

"Wh-what is this? Gabriel?" The end of the angel's name drew out into a moan as Sam arched his neck into the mouth attached to the base of his throat.

Gabriel spent a good while sucking and licking the sensitive spot before responding. "Relax and take a damn break, Sammy."

"But— Thanks for helping me ditch her, but... This isn't— we shouldn't—"

Gabriel guided Sam's mouth back to his, kissing away the halfhearted protests. When Sam was thoroughly breathless, Gabriel pulled back and fixed the human with a piercing stare.

“Stop thinking so damn hard. _Take_ a little, Sam.” Gabriel’s hands slid across Sam’s shoulders and fisted in the front of his jacket. “Just us here, and I’m offering. Take it or leave it.” His eyes flashed bright with challenge.

The words played over in Sam’s mind. _Take a little_. He could do that.

*

Sam stared blankly at the bag of Maple Nut Goodies that he'd encountered when he reached into his bag for the fake IDs. Dean arched an eyebrow and snatched the bag away to look at it. He made a face, "Ugh, really? Boring."

Sam didn't reply as he dug out the pair of arson investigator badges. "Here," he said, tossing one of them to Dean. His brother caught it and set aside the bag of candy.

"Let's go, Sammy, times a'wasting."

By the time Dean stepped outside, Sam had managed to tear open the corner of the candy bag and sneak a few into his hand. Before locking the door, Sam muttered a quick "thanks" to the seemingly empty room.

*

Sam choked on a laugh when he caught sight of Dean's perplexed expression as the older Winchester opened the fridge in their motel room and finding, instead of the usual beer, bottles of chocolate liqueur.

"Seriously? _Seriously?_ Godiva? What the hell is this?" Dean demanded, a look of disgust on his face as he prodded a bottle suspiciously. He turned to glare around the room. "Where the hell is he?"

Sam smothered his amusement with a hand before Dean could see his grin. "I don't think he's here, Dean."

"Thank you Captain Obvious," Dean muttered. He slammed the fridge door shut and headed to his bed to pull on his jacket. "Never mind. I'm going out. See if you can call the prankster and get him to put my stuff back."

Sam frowned as he didn't get a chance to answer before Dean swept out the door. With a roll of his eyes, Sam went to lay down. He pulled out his cellphone and sent a text to Gabriel.

 _'Dean not amused. Went in search of nearest dive.'_

A few moments after the message went through, Gabriel appeared next to Sam's bed with a smirk. "He didn't like my gift?"

"Hmm, let me think," Sam said drily, "manly beer or a fancy liqueur?"

Gabriel sniffed disdainfully as he turned to the fridge. He removed the bottle of dark chocolate liqueur and snapped up a glass. "I'll have you know this is perfectly delicious. Far better than the yeasty crap passing for American beer."

Sam sat up and shrugged. His nose wrinkled as he watched Gabriel pour the drink straight. "Really?"

"And ruin something this good with mixers? Please."

Deciding to move on, Sam turned his head slightly in a show of innocent confusion. "Was there some reason you wanted him out of the room?"

Gabriel sipped from his glass with his eyes sparking in promise above the rim. He set aside the bottle as he released a satisfied sigh. "I don't have any idea what you're talking about, Sam." Gabriel twirled the contents of his glass before taking another swallow. He crossed the room and settled at the foot of Sam's bed. "What's the plan? Where's your research?"

Sam stifled a frustrated sigh, knowing that Gabriel was leaving him to take the lead. It wasn't like these encounters were new anymore, but Sam still preferred to follow Gabriel's direction. However, his hesitance wasn't enough to keep him from reaching out, and he moved close enough that he could grasp Gabriel's shoulder. The angel's eyebrows arched in silent challenge, his lips widening in a grin.

"Something you want?"

"Oh, shut up." Sam yanked Gabriel close for a sloppy meeting of mouths. He felt Gabriel's glass fall against his thigh, leaving splotches of sticky alcohol in its wake.

The liqueur made Gabriel's mouth taste sweeter than normal with just an edge of bitterness from the dark chocolate.

Once Sam had initiated the contact, Gabriel seemed perfectly willing to take his own advantage. He crawled up the bed to straddle Sam's legs. Their movements sped up, Sam insistently tugging at buttons and cloth, sliding his fingers beneath Gabriel's shirt. He clutched at Gabriel's fingers when the angel made a move to snap away their clothes. Some things Sam preferred to do by hand.

Gabriel huffed laughter against Sam's mouth before turning his attention away from Sam's lips. While the human focused on disrobing them, Gabriel licked and nipped his way along Sam's jaw and down his neck.

Sam lay back and tugged Gabriel with him.

*

"Gabriel," Sam began cautiously. "What are you planning?" He looked down suspiciously at his suddenly parka-clad body.

The archangel grinned unrepentantly with his hand raised, prepared to snap. "Wait and see, Sammy."

"But why do I—" midway through Sam's question, Gabriel snapped—"need to wear... this. Oh." Sam watched his breath fog in front of him. His booted feet crunched into a layer of snow that spread out for miles and sparkled under the brightly lit night sky.

" _Oh!_ " Sam breathed as he stared up at the broad ribbons of color in the sky. He felt his jaw drop as he watched the gentle waves of the aurora cross the sky.

"Yep." Gabriel sidled up to Sam so that their arms pressed together. "Bet you never had a view like this."

Sam shook his head slowly. "No I... Well, sometimes we'd catch a glimpse. If we were far enough north, during a hunt. But this is..."

"Nothing quite like it," Gabriel agreed quietly.

They watched the lights in silence for a long while. Eventually Sam realized he was shivering despite the winter layers Gabriel had provided. He tucked his gloved hands under his armpits and hunched his shoulders a bit.

"Cold?"

"I don't want to go—" Sam started. Gabriel's fingers pressed against his lips and the hunter glanced down at the smirking face tilted up toward him.

"Wasn't planning on it. Just this." The archangel snapped and a pile of blankets and pillows appeared on the ground next to them. Gabriel pulled Sam down and the air seemed to change, the wind disappearing and the temperature warming. In response to the hunter's look of wonderment, Gabriel winked; "Awesome powers."

Sam chuckled and relaxed against some pillows so he could look up at the sky. A moment later he was covered by Gabriel's body. The angel unzipped Sam's parka and eased his hands under the human's shirts. "Still cold?" Gabriel asked with a predatory grin.

Lips twitching towards a grin of his own, Sam replied, "Maybe a little."

Gabriel leaned forward, tilting his head just enough that Sam could still see the aurora high above them. "Then let me warm you up."

*

The Apocalypse was a terrible time to be falling in love. There wasn't necessarily an optimum time to fall in love with an angel, but with the Apocalypse coming and being Satan's true vessel, well, Sam's timing was truly _awful_.

In the interest of self-preservation (of his hope, his heart, and his sanity), Sam suppressed the more complicated feelings. He knew from experience that even if Gabriel chose to respect the privacy of others' thoughts, the archangel was quick to pick up on “projected emotions.”

There were more important things to worry about, anyway.

*

Sam didn't fully realize how dangerous their recent nonstop activities and lack of sleep had been until he woke up to a gun muzzle digging into his forehead. He opened his eyes to look up the barrel of a shotgun and found a man wearing a ski mask standing over him. A quick glance to his left revealed Dean still sprawled out on his stomach and a second man standing at the end of the bed.

The man standing over Sam backed up a bit but left his gun fixed on Sam. Warily Sam sat up in bed. Sliding his hand back under his pillow revealed that his knife had been removed. A moment later Dean moved. Sam watched balefully as Dean rolled over.

"Looking for this?" The cartridge from Dean's handgun dropped to the floor.

Dean turned his head to Sam, gaze quickly taking in the scene. "Some morning."

"Shut up. Hands where I can see them."

Only the one man had spoken so far and the voice was kind of familiar. As Dean pushed himself upright and raised his hands, Sam could tell that his brother had the same sense of recognition.

"Wait a minute. Is that you, Roy?" Dean's smile held a definite edge. "It is, isn’t it. Which makes you Walt. Hiya, Walt."

The hunters removed their masks after a moment and Sam felt his heart drop. Jesus. Roy and Walt wore tight, determined expressions. Sam glanced sidelong at his brother, wondering if there was a way they could get out of this. _What a great night to bypass giving Cas and Gabriel a heads-up on our location._

Dean still had his hands up as he prodded, "Well, is it just me, or do you two seem a tad upset?"

Walt, the hunter holding the gun on Sam, ignored Dean. "You think you can flip the switch on the Apocalypse and just walk away, Sam?"

Oh hell. "Who told you that?" Sam asked, truly hoping he'd get an answer.

"We ain't the only hunters after you," Walt sneered. He pumped his shotgun and Sam's heartbeat sped up in response. "See you in the next life."

"Hear me out!" Sam raised his hands higher in a placating gesture, desperate. "I can explain, okay? Please. This won't work."

He held his breath as the seconds ticked by, maybe, just maybe—

Sam felt the blast rip through his chest and then a sensation of falling. He wondered how long it would take for Lucifer to follow through on the promise to bring him back.

*

Sam didn't know where to look as he tried to process recent events. Dashing through memories – his and Dean's visions of Heaven – and running into Ash while trying to avoid Zachariah; meeting Joshua and arriving in the Garden; the announcement that God had decided to piss off to some solo retreat on Earth. And then Joshua confirmed what Sam had started to suspect, Dean had reached the end of his rope. This desperate quest, Castiel's search for God, had become Dean's last hope.

"So now what?" Dean's voice lacked all emotion, and Sam wished he knew what he could do to offer comfort.

Joshua's expression was sympathetic as he replied, "You go home again. I'm afraid this time won't be like the last." He lifted one hand towards them. "This time, God wants you to remember."

White light flared to life at the corner of Sam's eyes. He had expected his next sight to be of the motel room; instead he blinked and found himself still staring at Joshua and surrounded by the Garden.

"Why am I...?"

Joshua smiled slightly. "He had something else to pass on."

Startled, Sam asked, "God? What is it?"

"You're stronger than you think, Samuel. Keep faith."

Sam chuckled humorlessly at that. "After you've told us God wants us to back off?"

Joshua shook his head sadly. "Faith... is more than God." He turned his hand a little, preparing to send Sam back. As their surroundings began to glow, Joshua said, "Tell Gabriel, I miss our chats."

~

The next time Sam opened his eyes, he was back in the expected motel room. He scrambled to sit up, gulping in air. Dean stood up from his bed, expression tight.

"You alright?" Sam asked.

"Define alright." Dean snorted softly and walked away to grab his cellphone from the table. "Calling Cas."

Sam stared silently at his brother's back, gaze fixed at the blood-spattered shirt full of holes. He looked down at his own shirt and picked at the cloth caked with blood. He swallowed down the feeling of nausea as he recalled the moments before dying. He remembered how it felt this time.

The sound of wings brought his attention back to the present. He looked up to find Castiel looking at Dean anxiously. Gabriel strode across the room to Sam, eyes wide as he looked the hunter over.

"We're fine. I'm fine," Sam said quickly. He held up a hand, although he wasn't sure if he actually wanted to keep Gabriel back.

Dean laughed sharply and the hollow sound made Sam cringe. "Yeah. Fine. Your Dad's gardener said to fuck off." The angels stared at him like it was the last thing they had expected to hear. Even Gabriel, who spent much of his time discouraging Castiel's search.

"He wouldn't..." Castiel started uncertainly. His brow furrowed in a look of very human confusion.

"Yeah, well, apparently He would," Dean said.

Castiel shook his head, confusion giving way to disappointment.

Gabriel seemed to have recomposed himself in the meantime. "What happened to instigate your little jaunt upstairs?" he asked, frowning at the obvious evidence of the Winchesters' deaths.

"A couple hunters," Sam admitted with a grimace.

Gabriel's eyes narrowed. "I know you two can really piss people off, but why were hunters after you?"

Sam hunched his shoulders and rubbed at spots of blood dried on his hands. "They knew that I started this."

"Not just them," Dean added. "They said others are looking for us. Somebody passed along the word." He made a disgusted sound as he looked down at his shirt. "We need to get the hell out of Dodge – after we change."

Nobody spoke again until the bathroom door closed behind Dean.

Gabriel nudged Sam's chin to get the human to look up. "Sam?" He was frowning in what looked like concern. "I'm sure a shower would feel better, but in the name of expediency..." Gabriel snapped his fingers and Sam looked down to find himself dressed in jeans and a clean shirt.

"That works," he said, smiling slightly in thanks. With a sigh Sam stood up and started looking around for what they'd need to pack. He felt Gabriel's stare as he moved around the room.

"Why would our Father stand by and let this happen?" Castiel muttered. Sam paused in his packing and exchanged an uneasy look with Gabriel. "Does He want this?"

"Bro..." Gabriel sighed. "Look, I know everyone's keen on preaching Dad's infallibility but the truth is He hasn't been interested in stepping in for centuries. The last chat He had with anyone besides Joshua, apparently, was His message to Muhammad." He shrugged dismissively. "Millennia spent in a crowd of His children, He probably needed a vacation."

The bathroom door opened and Dean stepped out fully dressed. He took in the tense atmosphere and shook his head. "Sammy, it's all—" he stopped talking when he caught sight of Sam's change of clothes. "Or we could just get out of here."

Sam zipped up his bag and looked around for his boots. A quiet snap drew his attention to Gabriel and the archangel looked pointedly at the now blood-free bed sheets.

Castiel turned away from everyone as he sagged against the room's divider. Dean glanced over as he stuffed loose items into his duffle. "Cas?"

The angel tilted his head back, but Sam was pretty sure he wasn't looking at the ceiling.

"You son of a bitch. I believed—"

Sam flinched at the depth of bitterness in the angel's voice. He saw Dean make an abortive move towards Castiel. Gabriel's expression was blank.

Castiel turned around as he dug something out of his pocket. "I don't need this anymore," he said gruffly, tossing the object in his hand to Dean. "It's worthless."

Sam realized it was the amulet he'd given Dean when they were kids; the amulet Castiel had said could detect God's presence. "Cas, wait!" The angel had already gone. "Damn it," he muttered.

Gabriel moved close to Sam, his hand curling briefly around the human's forearm. "Keep in touch." Once Sam nodded, the angel disappeared.

The sound of a zipper drew his attention to his brother. "We'll find another way. We can still stop all this, Dean," he said.

Dean looked up from his bag with a blank expression. "How?"

"I-I don't know, but we'll find it." Sam was desperate for Dean to believe him. "You and me, we'll find it."

The look Dean gave in response made clear he didn't believe it. He slung the strap of his bag over his shoulder and headed for the door. He paused before stepping outside, glancing briefly at the amulet dangling from his fingers. He dropped it in the trashcan to the side of the doorway and walked out.

Sam sucked in a deep breath as he continued to stare at the trash. He clenched his fists at his side, trying to tell himself that it hadn't been meant as a personal slight. Castiel and Dean were angry with God, not him.

In a minute Sam had his emotions under control and went over to fish the amulet out of the trash. He stared at it for a long moment, unable to see it as Castiel had. Dean handing it over to the angel had never been about God, for Sam; it had been an indication that Castiel had officially joined their team, become a trusted friend.

He swallowed against the rising disappointment and tucked the necklace away in his pocket.

*

Sam ran across the parking lot after the Impala, yelling for Dean to stop, turn around. _You jackass! Don't you dare leave me here!_ The car sped up and with a squeal swung around a corner. Sam came to a halt at the sidewalk running alongside the motel and stared at the disappearing headlights.

"You... you _fucking idiot_ ," he hissed between his teeth. Hands clenching, Sam tilted his head back and shouted, "Are you enjoying this? Is this what you want?" He closed his eyes and stood there just breathing for long moments. Shit.

 _Shit._

"Sam?"

"Where _were_ you?" Sam demanded, turning around to glare at Gabriel. "We needed you!"

Gabriel grimaced but otherwise stood still. "I'm sorry, Sam."

Sam lifted his hands helplessly and winced when he realized he was shaking. "Damn it, Gabriel. Dean's going to— And Cas..."

"I know," Gabriel said quietly. He stepped forward and grasped Sam's hands. "We'll figure it out. Right now I want to check on my brother."

"How can he—?" Sam sagged against Gabriel, grateful that the archangel had the strength to hold him up.

"Come on." Gabriel tilted Sam's head so that he could offer a chaste kiss. A moment later they stood in the open doorway of the motel room. Gabriel pulled away slowly and went over to the bed where Castiel was awkwardly attempting to clean Pastor Gideon's scrapes.

Castiel looked between Gabriel and Sam, his already weary expression falling even more. "Dean's going to say yes."

"He can't," Sam was quick to counter. He wouldn't accept it.

"I... don't understand." Gideon blinked blearily at them. "What exactly is going on?"

Gabriel glanced disdainfully at the nearly empty first aid kit. With a snap of his fingers, fresh supplies appeared and he waved Sam over. In response to Gideon he said, "I think you already know it's the end of the world. These jokers are trying to rewrite destiny."

Sam took over seeing to Gideon's wounds. He gave the archangel a disapproving glare. "We're going to do it."

Castiel sat on the other bed as Gabriel looked him over. Cas responded tonelessly, "Dean will say yes and Michael will have his vessel. Do you really think you'll have any other option than to say yes to Lucifer?"

"What?" Gideon jerked away from Sam's touch, eyes wide. "What is he talking about?" The pastor slid along the edge of the bed, putting some space between himself and the room's other occupants.

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Cool it, preacher man. You're hanging with the only two sane angels left and the most stubborn human I've ever met. And let me tell you that's pretty damn stubborn since I spent days convincing Mary she was pregnant with the son of God."

"W-who are you?" Pastor Gideon looked pale and about ready to pass out.

"Gabriel. Yeah, yeah, _that_ Gabriel. Just don't go spreading that news around, I'm keeping a low profile these days." At the startled gasp from Gideon, Gabriel grinned. "And I think the best thing for you right now is some rest." He walked over and tapped his fingers against the man's forehead. "Nighty-night."

Sam caught the pastor just before he slipped from the bed. "He'll be okay?" Sam asked as he settled Gideon on top of the covers.

"He'll be fine." Gabriel returned his attention to Castiel. "You, however, look like shit, little bro." He narrowed his eyes. "Are you hung-over?"

"He said he drank a liquor store," Sam answered for the angel. Castiel nodded solemnly.

"Nice human habit you picked up," Gabriel said drily. "You're not exactly a hundred percent these days, Castiel. If you plan on sticking around for this fight, don't act like an idiotic Winchester." He glanced at Sam with an unapologetic smirk.

"I do not understand why you continue to disparage Dean and Sam when you have joined their cause."

Gabriel patted Castiel's head, a gesture that brought a small smile to Sam's lips. "Don't worry about it, bro. You just take a little snooze while Sammy tells me whatever crazy plan he's cooking up to keep his brother from making a stupid move."

Castiel frowned. "I do not require sleep."

"Cas, I think it might be good if you rest for a bit," Sam encouraged. "You don't have to sleep, but maybe just lay down?" He exchanged a sidelong glance with Gabriel. "We can't do anything right this moment, anyway."

The angel seemed to consider that for a minute before nodding. He glanced over his shoulder at the bed and slowly pushed himself back. He laid down hesitantly, each movement stiff and unsure. Gabriel rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers; Castiel's shoes landed on the floor, his tie came undone, and his jacket and trench coat reappeared on the comforter at his side.

"Get comfortable," Gabriel told him. He turned to look at Sam and pointed at the couch.

~

"Should he really be sleeping?" Sam asked quietly as he watched Castiel from across the room.

Gabriel's fingers paused in the middle of stroking Sam's hair. "Not involuntarily," he admitted. His fingers resumed their movement.

Sam let his head fall back into Gabriel's lap with a sigh. "How bad is he?"

"He's alright," Gabriel said dismissively. His expression tightened, however, and he added, "He'll be a whole lot worse if we don't stop your idiot brother."

"I'll stop him, I promise." Sam pressed his face against Gabriel's thigh as his breath hitched. He just needed a few hours to think. Dean wouldn't go straight to Michael, there was still time to catch up with him.

"Sam, Sam, Sam," Gabriel tsked quietly. He tucked Sam's hair behind the hunter's ear and ran his fingertip along the exposed rim. "You just had to pick up the weight of the world when your brother shrugged. When did you last get a full night's sleep?"

Sam chuckled humorlessly against Gabriel's leg. "Shouldn't you know?"

Silence followed his response and Sam was content to lay there and let his mind drift. A few minutes later he felt insistent hands urging him to roll over. With a reluctant sigh Sam rolled onto his back and opened his eyes to find Gabriel staring down at him intently.

"What?" the hunter prompted wearily.

Gabriel said nothing for a while longer. Then he bent down and kissed Sam. His lips parted and he curled a hand behind Sam's head. Although the kiss was firm, it lacked the insistence that usually prefaced their sexual encounters. Sam shifted into a better position and wrapped an arm around Gabriel's back. He pressed closer, drawn to the archangel's warmth and eager for the respite only the angel offered these days.

The weight of recent events was crushing him; Sam could admit that to himself and to Gabriel. _They've given up,_ Sam thought bleakly. _Cas has no faith. Dean's sure submitting to Michael is the only option left. Bobby's just going through the motions. How can I...?_

Sam turned his head to break the kiss. He continued to cling to Gabriel as he searched the unfathomable amber eyes. "Why?" Sam asked brokenly, "Why do you keep coming back?"

Gabriel's expression was unusually serious as he stared down at Sam. He stayed quiet for long moments, his fingers gently rubbing the back of Sam's head. When he finally responded, his voice was low and held a resonance that Sam thought might be a faint echo of angelic Voice. "Because I believe in you, Sam."

It didn't make sense but it was what Sam desperately needed to hear, so he decided not to question further. He might not understand, but he trusted Gabriel.

"Think it's time for you to join the slumber party," Gabriel said. He leaned in to press a kiss to Sam's forehead. "Sleep. I'll make sure you're up bright and early to stop your crazy brother."

Gabriel's words seemed to permit exhaustion to overtake Sam. The human relaxed, trusting that at least for the night he'd get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.

*

"Not that Michigan's a barrel of fun, but why don't you want me to go?" Gabriel crossed his arms and tapped his foot in a clear sign of irritation.

Sam set his bag down on the bed with the other supplies. "Cas and I can handle Dean. He needs to focus on me, think that I'm alone. You like showy, Gabriel, and that's not going to work."

"I can do subtle when it's needed," Gabriel argued.

"I guess, but this is going to go a lot better with just Cas and I. Besides, we need to be sure Gideon and the people here are okay. It shouldn't take too long and then you can get over to Bobby's."

Gabriel sighed as he looked at the bed. "And act as your porter, right?"

"Yeah, a real difficult finger snap." Sam glanced out the doorway where the pastor stood looking out over the empty parking lot. "Please, we don't have a lot of time to argue."

The archangel waved his hand dismissively. "Fine, you go get your self-sacrificing brother." He glanced over his shoulder at Castiel, who stood watching them silently. "You're up for this?"

Castiel nodded with a grave expression. "I will impress upon Dean the folly of his decision."

That surprised a huff of laughter from Gabriel. "Go get 'im, tiger." He nodded at Sam before walking over to Gideon.

"Sam," Castiel said, stepping close. When he had the human's attention, he raised his hand and tapped his fingers against Sam's forehead.

~

Castiel brought the Winchesters to Bobby's where the hunter was in the middle of what sounded like an argument with Gabriel. Dean wore a sour expression as he glared at everyone.

"Oh good, you're here." Gabriel arched an eyebrow in Dean's direction. "Martyrs are overrated, kid."

"What do you care? You've done nothing to stop this," Dean snapped.

Sam reached out quickly to grab Gabriel's shoulder, even though he knew that if the archangel wanted to he could easily break the hold. Thankfully Gabriel stayed put and settled for an angry glare. "Watch your tongue, Winchester. You wanted options and I don't want to kill my brothers. If you haven't gotten it through your thick skull, there's not a lot of options to manage that."

"Exactly! I get it now, Michael can do his thing and we can save a boatload of people for a change."

Bobby intervened; "Sure, but not _all_ of them! What's wrong with you?"

Sam pleaded with his brother, "We're going to figure this out together. Don't throw it all away."

"What the hell do you think we can do, Sam? How is it I'm the only one accepting reality?"

"You're a contradicting dick." Gabriel shrugged off Sam's hand and moved directly into Dean's personal space. "You talk a good game but then you run off. Admit it, this is about making things easier for _you_."

"Gabriel," Sam started quietly, but he couldn't finish the protest. Castiel and Bobby were silent, and Sam was having difficulty coming up with a defense for his brother.

The archangel stood there a moment more before stepping back. He turned to Sam and Castiel, explaining, "I need to leave. Can I trust you chuckleheads to knock some sense into him?"

"Where are you going?" Sam asked, surprised that Gabriel wasn't sticking around.

Bobby let out an irritated sigh. "He thinks a chat with Death could help us out."

"Don’t knock it, buddy," Gabriel replied. He focused his gaze on Sam and some of the tightness of his expression seemed to ease. "There's a chance—`well, I'll tell you about it if it pans out." For a moment it looked like he would add something else; then he disappeared with a snap.

Dean let out a humorless chuckle. "You can't seriously be relying on him."

"Seems to me he's not the one throwing his life away," Bobby said.

"This isn't down to one person, Dean." Sam looked around the room. "In this together, remember?" He couldn't suppress his disappointment when Dean just turned away.

*

Sam leaned back against the warehouse wall after spitting out another mouthful of blood. Dean paced nearby, occasionally glancing at his cellphone and cursing.

"He'll get here," Sam assured. He scrubbed at his mouth with his shirtsleeve. Luckily it didn't seem that Zachariah's damage was permanent, but they wanted one of their angels' confirmation. Neither Castiel nor Gabriel had answered their phones, but of the two, Sam expected Gabriel to respond.

"Two minutes, Sammy, then I'm getting us out of here."

The rustling sound of an angel's arrival caught their attention. "Thanks for the vote of confidence." Gabriel looked around the warehouse with a frown. "What are you doing out here?"

"Zachariah," Dean replied darkly.

"He took Adam," Sam explained further. "He lured us out here and called—" he broke off to cough. He felt fresh blood on his lips. "Shit."

"Sam?"

Gabriel moved far faster than Dean, instantly appearing at Sam's side and looking him over worriedly. "What the... Fuck. Always hated that bastard." Gabriel pressed his hand to Sam's chest. Almost immediately warmth spread from his touch, and Sam could feel the difference as his body healed.

"Thanks," he sighed in relief.

Gabriel nodded tightly, gaze falling to Sam's mouth. He pulled the cuff of his jacket over his palm and leaned in to rub the blood from Sam's face. "I'm sorry," he said, so quiet that Sam thought Dean probably didn't hear it.

Dean's face held an expression of confusion as he looked between the two. "We need to get back to Bobby's," he said. He looked uncomfortable standing nearby.

"Right."

A moment later, they appeared in Bobby's library.

"Damn it! You need warning bells or something." Bobby set his shotgun back on the desk once he recognized his visitors. He took a long look at them and his expression darkened. "Adam? Castiel?"

Sam and Dean slumped into the free chairs near the desk. "Cas took on the angels pulling guard duty," Dean said. "He... did a banishing spell."

"What?" Gabriel hissed. "Including himself? Shit, I need to find him."

"Wait!" Sam caught Gabriel's wrist. "You should know Zachariah called Michael down. He... he probably has a body now."

Bobby grimaced. "Adam." Dean bowed his head in acknowledgement.

Gabriel nodded his understanding before disappearing. Sam sighed wearily and turned back to Bobby to finish explaining.

~

Sam sat on the porch steps, rolling his empty beer bottle between his hands. He and Dean had finished talking a half hour earlier and parted ways for the night. Now alone with his thoughts, Sam felt oddly hollow. He felt relieved that Dean was ready to fight again; it had loosened some of Sam's tension to hear his brother didn't want to disappoint him. However, that good news was offset by the absence of Castiel and loss of Adam.

 _Why did Adam have to get dragged into this?_ Sam set aside the beer bottle and rubbed his hands over his face. _I am so sorry. We should have kept a closer eye on you._

"Thinking awful loud there, Sammy." Gabriel's fingers carded through Sam's hair.

The hunter tilted his head so he could look up. "Did you find Cas?"

Gabriel looked grim as he took a seat next to Sam. "Yeah. He's at a human hospital. Kinda the best place for him right now." He grimaced. "He's in a coma. His little trick did a serious number on him. I made sure the cuts were healed, but honestly? He needs a heavy dose of sleep to recharge." He stared out over the yard silently for a while. "I'm not sure how he'll be once he wakes up."

"Are you sure he should be alone?"

The archangel shrugged. "I'll keep checking on him. Right now he's tucked away and since he's just resting, he shouldn't draw any attention to himself."

Sam accepted that with a nod. The press of Gabriel's arm against his lent a welcome warmth to the chilly evening. Slowly Sam allowed himself to lean closer until he could tilt his head to rest against Gabriel's. He felt the archangel's arm wrap around his waist, anchoring them together.

Eventually Gabriel asked, "Are you alright?" The hunter bit back the urge to laugh, afraid it would sound more like a sob.

Once he felt he had control of his emotions, Sam answered, "Dean's still here." That said it all, really. Cas was out of the picture, at least for now, Zachariah was dead, Michael had arrived, and Adam was... something. But Dean had said he couldn't disappoint Sam. He'd looked Sam in the eye when he said "screw destiny" and _"I say we take the fight to them and do it our way."_

Gabriel heard all of the meanings within the simple answer, and more importantly, Sam knew the angel understood. "Good. No more running off," Gabriel eventually responded.

Sam curled closer to his lover, somewhat awkward to do on wooden steps and with their height difference. Gabriel silently shifted to accommodate the change, and he guided Sam's head to his shoulder.

They'd been doing this a lot lately, Sam realized. What had started out as the prelude to friendship had turned to mutually enjoyable sex and developed into a friends-with-benefits relationship; but none of that had relied much on long periods of silence and simple touching, until recently. Sam was loath to call it "cuddling," long ago inured to his brother's way of classifying sappy chick-flick moments. He didn't deny that this – whatever it might be called, how he and Gabriel were touching right now – was significant, more emotional and almost soul-deep compared to the usual physical pleasure. It was what Sam had been yearning to have for so long. It was a desire he'd been fighting since giving it a name – _love. Oh God, I'm in love with an archangel_.

"Sam...?" There was a note of confusion in Gabriel's voice that made Sam catch his breath nervously. He tensed as the angel shifted as if trying to pull away. Bracing himself for whatever was coming, Sam sat up straight and started to move. Gabriel didn't allow him to go far. "Where are you going? I just wanted to look at you," Gabriel told him, his tone obviously exasperated.

"Um... sorry?" Sam felt at a loss. He had no guarantee that Gabriel had picked up on his thoughts, though it seemed likely.

Gabriel caught Sam's gaze and although the unblinking stare was unnerving, Sam didn't look away. The archangel pressed his hand against Sam's cheek, his fingertips brushing over the temple. "You are extraordinarily self-deprecating for a man so stubbornly set on fighting tooth and nail to keep his free will. I get it, kiddo, I really do. Most of the time you've gotten the shit-end of the stick, but then again you've made something of it, right?" Gabriel tapped Sam's temple gently. "Give yourself a break from the Heavy Thoughts scrambled with all that messy logic." He leaned in for a long kiss.

When they parted, Gabriel ran his thumb over Sam's cheek as he stared at the human thoughtfully. "You... really feel that way, about me?"

At another time Sam may have tried to divert the conversation and avoid the truth. Instead, the bewildered expression on the archangel's face urged Sam to admit, "Yeah, I think so." He'd spent so many weeks trying to avoid focusing his attention on the feelings that he suddenly felt as lost as Gabriel looked.

"Okay," Gabriel murmured, apparently trying to process the admission. His hand moved so that he could rub his thumb over Sam's lower lip. "Okay," he repeated, voice a little stronger. His eyes glittered as he smiled. "Shove over."

Not exactly sure what the angel wanted, Sam let himself be moved so that he sat facing the yard. Gabriel quickly filled Sam's empty lap. Gabriel's arms draped over Sam's shoulders as he shifted as close as possible. Sam curved his hands around the angel's waist and back and was struck with the realization of how familiar the angel's body had become.

"Don't think," Gabriel murmured as he threaded his fingers through Sam's hair. "Stop thinking you have to punish yourself." He softened his words with a long kiss. "You know what you've done, Sam, so do I, so does your family. _We've_ forgiven you." Gabriel paused for another kiss, his lips parting to slip-slide against Sam's. "Your life's hard enough, kiddo, stop torturing yourself. Stop thinking you can't get what you want."

Sam closed his eyes and swallowed down the tide of emotions threatening to overwhelm him. He opened his mouth to Gabriel, eagerly welcoming the warm invasion of tongue and lips.

He groaned in disappointment as Gabriel turned his face away. "You can have this, Sam," the archangel murmured against Sam's ear. "I promise, this is yours."

Sam tightened his embrace and turned his face into Gabriel's neck, muffling any embarrassing noise that might escape. He could feel himself trembling as Gabriel continued to rub his fingers through Sam's hair and began nibbling at Sam's ear. It took a few minutes to collect himself before Sam was ready to return the attention. He slid a hand under Gabriel's shirt, rubbing the warm, smooth skin. He followed the line of the angel's neck with his lips and tongue, mouthing kisses as he worked his way up to a stubble-free jaw.

"Please don't lea— Stay. Please, stay," Sam breathed the entreaty against Gabriel's skin. Maybe, just maybe, he could have this, have Gabriel. It would be good and it _had_ been good so far. But he knew it would end, and judging by the trend of his history, it wouldn't last long. Sam clenched his fingers, wishing he could make this last with willpower alone.

"Sam..." Gabriel sighed and started tugging at Sam's jacket. "Sheer pigheadedness goes a long way, you know." He managed to get the left arm completely free of the jacket, but instead of working on the other arm, Gabriel shoved up the sleeve of Sam's shirt. His hand wrapped around the human's elbow. "I'm _right here_."

Sam rested his head against Gabriel's shoulder as his breath escaped him in a shuddering exhale. "How long? I'm not an idiot, Gabriel. I know I can't just keep you."

"What, like a bird?" Gabriel teased. "Look, neither of us is big on the long term plans. Doesn't mean I'm taking off tomorrow without a word." He nudged Sam's head off his shoulder. "Look at me. Forever is a long time. _I know._ But trust me when I say, me being here, with you, in this colossal mess is a big deal." He leaned in for a long kiss.

When Gabriel pulled back, he kept his stare locked on Sam. Gabriel's eyes brightened with ethereal light at the same time that Sam felt the angel's hand grow unbearably hot against his arm.

"What are you...?" Sam hissed in pain as the heat peaked. He felt sure he'd blister from the touch and wondered if Gabriel intended to leave a mark like Castiel had on Dean.

Slowly the pain faded away and Gabriel removed his hand. The cool air soothed the lingering burn on Sam's skin. He didn't dare to look until Gabriel's gaze shifted down. Together they examined the reddened patch of skin on the inside of Sam's arm near his elbow. It wasn't a handprint; it wasn't blister-like, either. The mark's black lines made it look like a tattoo. Sam didn't understand the script following the curve of his arm. Gabriel stroked his thumb gently over the sensitive skin.

"What is it?" Sam asked, finally realizing that at least some of [ the symbols resembled Enochian.](http://z8.invisionfree.com/Megadriel/index.php?showtopic=186)

Gabriel's voice was low as he briefly touched different parts of the – was it a signature? "Strength. Endurance. Goodness. Hope." His lips twitched in a brief, almost wistful smile; "Humanity."

Sam considered the evidence and said, "It's your sigil, isn't it?"

Gabriel responded with a noncommittal hum. He turned his attention to removing Sam's jacket and shirt, kissing exposed skin as he went. Sam shivered with the contrast of chill air and hot mouth brushing his skin.

"Sammy?"

And his brother's shocked voice was definitely _not_ something Sam needed to hear while his lover was doing obscene things with his mouth.

"Oh shit." Sam tilted his head back to look up at Dean, who stood in the doorway with a stunned expression.

Gabriel muttered something unflattering against Sam's chest before sitting up and glaring at the other human. "Seriously? Your timing sucks, Winchester."

"My— What the _hell?_ What are you doing?" Dean let the door slam behind him as he stormed across the porch.

"That should be rather obvious." Sam reflexively tightened his hold on Gabriel when Dean visibly clenched his jaw. The archangel placed a hand over Sam's new tattoo in silent reassurance.

"Dean..." Sam trailed off warily. He looked pleadingly at his brother.

"No, Sam. How is this okay?" Dean pointed at Gabriel as he ground out, "After everything he's done? Okay, so he's been hanging around – but doing what? Jumping in on the occasional side hunt? Ganking demons? This dick's _figuratively_ screwed us over and over. If he's not killing me or dragging us through TV hell, he's pulling pranks and distractions. What about the big picture, Sam?"

Gabriel's expression tightened in anger, but he remained seated in Sam's lap. "You don't like me, I get it; can't say you’re my favorite person, either. But you should think real hard about what the hell's gone on in the past few months. Which of us is the one prone to benders and running off to get ourselves killed?"

"It's called taking risks and I don’t see you willing to step in!"

At that Gabriel disappeared from Sam's lap and reappeared right in Dean's face, making the human stumble back. Sam quickly stood up, hoping that it wouldn't actually come to blows.

"There's a hell of a lot you don't see, Deano," Gabriel said, voice low in clear warning. "I've been working on an alternative to this bullshit showdown and where were you just twelve hours ago? Still set on submitting to Michael. All ready to ditch the last few people who believe in you. Way to go." The angel slow-clapped.

Sam tried to step in and diffuse the situation. "Gabriel, back off. Dean..." He scrubbed a hand over his face. "Stop. Please, just stop it. You _know_ he's helping us."

"Yeah?" Dean kept a suspicious gaze on Gabriel. "We don't know the reason." He stepped closer to Sam and finally looked away from the angel. "Can we really trust that he hasn't been working some drawn-out plot to arrange things the way he wants?"

"Jesus, Dean, why are you so paranoid?" Sam was exasperated and quickly getting frustrated.

"Because you're not!" Dean snapped. "Are you even thinking, getting involved with an _archangel_? A fucking _Trickster_ , a _monster_?"

Sam drew in a sharp breath. He felt Gabriel's hand gently wrap around his arm. As the silence drew out, Dean seemed to realize the impact of his accusation and his eyes widened. "S-Sammy—"

"It's not the same," Sam whispered, angry at himself for the spike of fear he couldn't block. He _knew_ this wasn't like Ruby, wasn't about manipulation, but that didn't stop the lingering worry at the back of his mind. "I'm not screwing this up." Without making the conscious decision to do so, Sam lifted his hand to press over Gabriel's. He felt a spark of warmth from the tattoo.

Dean looked down to stare at their hands. The anger faded from his expression, leaving behind frustration and puzzlement. He shook his head slowly and eventually let out a long sigh.

"Yeah. Okay. I'm just..." Dean rubbed a hand over his face. "I'm gonna turn in." He walked back into the house.

When he'd gone, Sam let out a shaky sigh. "Thanks, for not saying anything else," he said. Gabriel snorted and the annoyed sound coaxed a small smile from Sam. "Really. It's, uh, kind of a tradition to blow up before processing surprises."

Gabriel turned Sam to face him and placed his hands on the human's shoulders. "Well I don't like it. He's full of shit, by the way." He hopped up to plant a kiss on Sam's nose and then his legs suddenly wrapped around the human's waist. Sam grunted in surprise as he moved his hands to help hold the angel up. Gabriel smirked. "But your brother's nosing around did prove we should move someplace a little more private."

With a snap, they appeared in the room that had become Sam's whenever they stayed with Bobby.

"Now where were we before that rude interruption?"

*

If the Winchesters went about breakfast as per usual without any mention of the confrontation on the porch, well, that was their way. Bobby didn't seem inclined to ask about the ruckus, either. The lack of attention to the matter actually had meaning, though. Dean didn't put up a fuss so Sam knew that whether or not his brother "approved," he had at least decided to take the revelation in stride. Gabriel seemed torn between amusement and irritation with their actions but didn't interfere.

Bobby offered up a new hunt after lunch. Dayton, Ohio had seen a lot of recent demonic activity for whatever reason and it seemed like a worthwhile stop to investigate. Dean made the decision to leave the next morning after another night of sleep, given how busy they'd been recently. A fourteen hour drive could be done in a straight shot but facing it in daylight was better than driving through the night.

Gabriel decided to time his departure with the brothers'. Bobby was slowly coming around to the angel's search for Death, especially after Gabriel explained that a being like Death would be balking under the beck-and-call of Lucifer. Between the archangel's abilities and Bobby's research, they thought they might finally have a solid lead.

Sam spent most of their last night at Bobby's in bed with Gabriel. An uneasy sense of time running out made Sam desperate to spend as much time as possible with the archangel.

A little before dawn, they parted ways. Gabriel leaned in for a last kiss, then with a smirk and a wink he disappeared.

That evening Sam and Dean pulled into the brightly lit parking lot of the Elysian Fields hotel, seemingly the only shelter from the torrential storm. As Dean enthused about delicious pie and their luck, Sam struggled with the feeling that something wasn't right.

*

Sam really wished that he hadn't been correct. Facing a room full of gods meant nothing good as far as he was concerned, especially considering what he knew of the various mythos. The only thing that might work in their favor was the fact that few of them valued cooperation over animosity inherent in conflicts of power and religions.

Their attempt to slip from the room while the arguing heated up was foiled by a dropped chandelier and the elegant-looking Kali calling attention to the Winchesters. Her expression was tight with determination. She addressed the gods, "We have to fight. The archangels, the only thing they understand is violence. This ends in blood. There is no other way, it's them or us." She had a point, though Sam hardly thought she meant to include the hunters as her allies.

Mercury, who'd played the damn hotel manager, attempted to argue, apparently believing bargaining could be achieved with the angels. Sam and Dean exchanged exasperated looks. Kali didn't seem impressed either if her Darth Vader-esque force-choke was anything to go by.

The ballroom doors suddenly burst open behind Sam and Dean, and they spun around in time to see Gabriel make a showy entrance. He was pure Trickster with his familiar swagger and a broad smirk.

"Can't we all just get along!" he called as he walked in without a second glance at the humans.

Dean's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Ga—!" His voice cut off and when Sam tried to speak, he found that he, too, had been silenced.

"Sam! Dean... It's always wrong place, worst time with you muttonheads, huh?" Gabriel chided with a condescending look.

"Loki." The name was said with great disdain.

Gabriel's smile took on a slight edge as he walked to the middle of the room. "Baldur. Good to see you." He looked around casually at the gathered gods. "Huh, I guess my invitation got lost in the mail."

Baldur looked like he wanted to sneer but believed himself above such pettiness. "Why are you here?"

Gabriel spread his arms, "Why? To talk about the elephant in the room." At the sound of a chair pushing back, Gabriel rolled his eyes and pointed at Ganesh, "Not you. The Apocalypse." The lightness of his tone seemed to fade a little. "We can't stop it, gang. But first thing's first." He turned back to Sam and Dean. "The adults need to have a little conversation. Check you later, boys." He snapped his fingers and the hunters found themselves in their room.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean shouted, obviously having regained his voice. He pointed an accusing finger at Sam. "What the hell is your boyfriend doing?"

Sam waved the finger away from his face. He decided to ignore the boyfriend comment for now. "I don’t know. But think about it, they only know him as a pagan and obviously they don't care for angels."

Dean grimaced. "Yeah, secret identity really wouldn't go down well with this crowd." He glanced around their room, they hadn't even had time to unpack their bags. "So... time to get out of here?"

"Sounds good to me. And next time, when I say let's keep driving? Let's keep driving."

"Yeah. Next time."

Sam eyed the door, wondering if they'd been locked in. "Have a plan?" he asked.

"Uh, get those poor saps out of their dinner date? Bust 'em out and leg it. If we're lucky, maybe we'll get out of here before they realize the main course flew the coop."

"Since when have you had good luck?" Gabriel asked from his position on the couch with his feet propped up on the coffee table.

"Why the hell didn't you warn us?" Dean demanded.

Gabriel snorted indignantly. "You think I knew about this shindig and still let you come this way? Oh, please." He rolled his eyes. "Baldur isn't a fan of mine and it seems he was in charge of this little convention. I only just got an invite from Kali like an hour ago. Should've figured you two would get caught up in this."

"But now that you know, you're getting us out of here, right?" Sam asked.

Gabriel stood up and stretched. "That's probably a good idea given that whatever they decide to do – kill you or use you as bait – you're uber-boned." He smirked as he settled his hands on his hips. "And you happen to be on my shortlist of likeable people."

"Don't I feel honored," Dean muttered under his breath. "Okay then, let's get the bystanders free and zap out of here."

"Whoa, hold up, speedy." Gabriel's expression lost its humor. "Couple problems. One, Kali's got you by the short and curlies thanks to a blood spell. You boys are on a leash. Two, we're short on time and those people are already screwed. We don't need the extra baggage."

"We're not just going to leave them here to be killed, Gabriel," Sam said. He added, "And if we can't leave immediately, Dean and I still have time to get them out. What are you planning to do about Kali?"

For a brief moment Sam thought Gabriel looked embarrassed. Whatever the look had been, it was quickly replaced by a smirk. "Me and Kali had, uh, a thing. Dean would like her, chick's all hands."

Sam decided not to look at that too closely. "Wait. Could they do it? Could they take on Lucifer?"

Gabriel frowned. "It's a bad idea. Lucifer's gonna turn them into finger paint."

"You have a problem with _gods_ going up against Satan, but you're fine with us going after him?" Dean fixed a disbelieving stare on the archangel.

"I'm not happy with it," Gabriel said. "But I don't have a problem with you guys in this mess because you know it's probably suicidal, yet you still _choose_ to fight. Those knuckleheads out there? They think this is a picnic in the park and easy to wrap up in a tidy package. They don't get it, so they need to shove off. You two? You're long past the point of no return."

It explained a lot, Sam thought. Dean's expression seemed to indicate that he found the archangel's reasoning acceptable.

"Fine. So what's the plan while me and Sammy get the d'oeuvres loose?"

Gabriel glowered at Dean. "You're not letting that go."

Sam shook his head. "They're getting out of here, too."

Gabriel rolled his eyes as he snapped into existence a bottle of breath spray. "Okay, okay. Go release the feast, just don't cause too much commotion, okay? I'm only keeping Kali distracted." He spritzed his mouth. Sam narrowed his eyes suspiciously when he realized Gabriel seemed to purposefully avoid his gaze.

Dean picked up on that too. "And that's happening how?"

"You know how sentimental I can be."

"Gabriel—" Sam bit his lip when the angel reached out to squeeze his arm reassuringly. Amber eyes brightened for a moment in silent promise.

"See you in a bit, guys."

~

Sam rubbed at his sore neck as he and Dean were forced back into the ballroom. He quickly forgot about the lingering pain from being choked by Zao Shen when he saw Kali standing over Gabriel. Dean muttered a curse. Somehow Kali knew Gabriel's identity.

Kali looked the humans over disdainfully before addressing the gathered gods. "Well, surprise, surprise. The trickster has tricked us."

"Kali, don't."

The goddess looked down at Gabriel with a shuttered expression. "You're mine now, and you have something I want." She leaned over and reached into his jacket. Sam's eyes widened in surprise when she withdrew a familiar looking blade. "An archangel's blade. From the archangel, Gabriel."

That revelation resulted in suspicious and wary looks being exchanged amongst the gods. Gabriel's smile lacked its usual brightness as he effected a casual shrug. "Okay, okay! So I got wings, like kotex. But that doesn't make me any less right about Lucifer."

"You're a spy." Kali pointed the blade at the angel.

Gabriel held up his hands. "I'm not a spy, I'm a runaway." He looked around the room. "I'm trying to save you!" He focused back on Kali, clearly trying to talk her down. "I know my brother, Kali. He should scare the shit out of you; you can't beat him. I've skipped ahead, seen how this story ends—"

"Your story! Not ours." Sam wondered if Gabriel really had seen the future, or at least some version of it. Kali sneered; "Westerners, I swear. The sheer arrogance. You think you're the only ones on earth? You pillage and you butcher in your God's name. But you're not the only religion, and he's not the only god. And now you think you can just rip the planet apart? You're wrong. There are billions of us and we were here first. If anyone gets to end this world, it's me."

As Kali raised the blade in preparation to strike, the only thing keeping Sam from lurching to his feet was Dean's vice-like grip on his arm. "I'm sorry," Kali said as she plunged the knife into Gabriel's chest.

Dean's fingers bit into Sam's arm but he could barely feel it as he struggled to even breathe. Light flashed from Gabriel's eyes and mouth and Sam could hear the angel's cry ringing in his ears. Sam gasped quietly for breath as he stared disbelievingly at the slumped, lifeless body.

"They can die. We can kill Lucifer." Kali stepped away.

It took a little longer for Sam's brain to finally kick into gear and make an important realization: there were no wing marks. _Oh... oh thank God._ Sam let out a shaky sigh as he pulled himself together. Next to him, Dean straightened up in his chair.

"All right you primitive screwheads, listen up." The gods' reactions varied from amused to angry.

Sam wasn't quite sure what his brother had in mind. "What are you thinking?" he muttered.

"I'm outta options," Dean muttered back. He released Sam's arm and stood up to address the gods. "Now on any other given day, I'd be doing my damnedest to, uh, kill you murdering chimps. But hey, desperate times." He shrugged. "So even though I'd love nothing better than to slit your throats, you dicks, I'm going help you. I'm going to help you ice the Devil." Dean looked around the room, meeting each being's skeptical stare. "And then we can all get back to ganking each other like normal. You want Lucifer, well, the dude's not in the yellow pages. But me and Sam, we can get him here."

Sam really, really didn't know what his brother had planned.

~

Somehow Dean managed to bargain for the humans' lives. While Dean saw to their release, Sam stood in the ballroom with Kali and Baldur.

"So you're going to summon Lucifer." Kali looked over Sam with a considering, almost predatory gaze.

"Sort of," Sam replied, shifting uncomfortably under the watch of two powerful gods. "I, uh, just need you to squeegee some stuff from my ribs and he'll come running." He chuckled humorlessly.

Kali arched an eyebrow. "Breaking them would be easier."

Sam grimaced, but before he could respond, Dean strode into the room. "Show's over," he announced. Sam recognized the angry set of Dean's jaw. "The sword's a fake, and Gabriel's still kicking. I hate to break it to you, sister, but you've been tricked." Kali's lips pressed together in a frown.

"Dean, what are you doing?" Sam was relieved to have confirmation that Gabriel was alive. Even though he could guess how Dean's encounter with the angel had gone, Sam was disappointed that Gabriel hadn't rejoined them.

The lights suddenly flickered. "What's happening?" Baldur turned a concerned gaze to Kali.

Sam looked anxiously to his brother when they heard the first scream echoing down the halls. The walls reverberated with the sounds of dying gods. He didn't need to spell out the explanation, "It's him."

Kali's eyes widened. "How?"

Looking grim, Dean asked, "Does it matter? Too late now, shazzam us out of here!"

Baldur grimaced, "We can't."

The ballroom doors slammed into the walls. Sam backed away quickly when he saw Lucifer walk calmly into the room. "Of course you can't. You didn't say mother may I. Sam, Dean, good to see you again." The archangel's vessel, in addition to being covered liberally with blood, was clearly burning from the inside out. Raw patches of skin seemed to smolder.

Baldur's lip curled as he moved forward. Kali warned, "Baldur, don't."

The god ignored her completely, and he stepped right up to the Devil. "You think you own the planet? What gives you the right?"

Lucifer's expression remained perfectly calm as he drew back his arm and stabbed his hand _through_ Baldur's chest. "No one gives us the right, we take it," he said. Lucifer twisted his hand and a wet ripping sound coincided with the god's body going limp.

Sam looked away from the bloody death when he realized Kali had begun glowing. In moments her arms were ablaze. Dean tugged at Sam's arm and they ran to take cover behind one of the tables. They heard a squelch as Baldur's body dropped to the floor. Kali shouted something in an unfamiliar language as she attacked.

"You okay?" Sam asked, licking his lips nervously.

Dean didn't reply, Gabriel did. "Not really." Sam leaned forward to look around Dean. Gabriel looked resigned as he shoved something at Dean. "Guard this with your life, I mean it."

"Gabriel?" Sam half crawled to reach the archangel's side. "What are you doing?"

The angel offered a crooked smile and his gaze darted to Dean for a moment. "Better late than never, huh?" His amber eyes flashed with power as he met Sam's gaze. "Getting us out of here, Sammy." He grabbed Sam's shirt and pulled the human in for a quick kiss. "Now c'mon."

Gabriel stood up, his angel blade appearing in his hand. Sam heard a surprised grunt and the crash of someone hitting a wall on the other side of their barrier. At Gabriel's nod, the hunters stood up and went to check on Kali.

"Lucy, I'm home!" Gabriel called. In the hallway Lucifer stood up and casually brushed himself off. The only outward sign of his anger appeared in the otherworldly light in his eyes.

Gabriel pulled Kali to her feet before letting Dean take over. His eyes never left his brother as he took up a defensive stance. "Get them out of here," he said lowly. Sam's breath caught, ready to protest.

"Over a girl. Gabriel, really?" Lucifer's lips spread with a false smile. "I mean I knew you were slumming, but I hope you didn't catch anything."

Dean grabbed Sam's wrist and pulled. An unseen force pushed Sam onwards and that was the only reason he followed the retreat. Behind them, Sam could hear Gabriel's voice. "Lucifer, you're my brother. And I love you. But..."

"Come on!" Dean directed the order at both Kali and Sam as he herded them outside.

"I'm not getting into that thing!" Kali protested when she saw the Impala.

Dean glared over the roof at her. "Get in the damn car, princess." With a huff, Kali pulled the back door open and slid in. Dean paused halfway in and rapped his knuckles against the roof to get Sam's attention. "Sammy. We gotta get going."

"Yeah. Of course." Sam went through the motions, opening the door, sliding onto the seat, tugging the door shut. Absentmindedly he clicked the belt into place. Dean backed up across the parking lot and then sped towards the highway.

 _"You're my brother.... But..."_

Fine. Gabriel would be fine. Had to be fine.

He could feel Dean glancing over at him frequently.

"What's—" Dean's question cut off into quietly muttered curses as Sam's attention caught the reflection of bright light in the car's mirrors.

Sam jerked around and stared out the back window in time to catch the last flash of concentrated light back from the way they'd come.

The car sped up and Sam could feel his body jerk against the seat at the change, but the sensation seemed to come from a great distance. He felt cold and hollow as he continued to stare at the rapidly shrinking lights of the motel.

~

They eventually stopped; Dean pulled into the lot of a rundown motel looking much like their usual fare. Kali said nothing before she disappeared, the only reason Sam noticed her departure was the brief burst of flame. Dean muttered something derisive about flames and the Impala not mixing. Sam didn't pay much attention to what he was doing, still reeling from the night's events.

"Sammy." Dean called him back to the present. The older Winchester handed over Sam's bag and motioned toward a room door. "C'mon. Get some sleep."

Sam shook his head as he followed Dean into the room. "I'm gonna shower." He dropped his bag on a bed, absently pulling out toiletries and a pair of sweatpants. He could feel Dean's concerned stare until he closed the bathroom door between them.

He turned the lock as he toed off his shoes and stripped off his clothes. He leaned over the tub to turn on the faucet and switched the water over to the showerhead without checking the temperature. He was taller than the shower curtain so he had to duck under the rod as he stepped in.

The water was almost too hot against his skin, but Sam just closed his eyes and leaned back against the tiles. It took a few moments to realize he was shaking; at first little tremors but soon he was wracked with full-body shudders. Sam slid down the wall to sit in the tub, arms wrapped around his knees. Sam's hair clung to his face and shoulders as he gasped quietly. He pressed his face against his knees. A sob tore from his throat and he quickly bit his lip to suppress the noise.

Gabriel was dead. Truly dead. This wasn't like the ineffective staking of Trickster doubles. Sam felt like the dying flare of the archangel's Grace was burned into his mind's eye. As much as he didn’t want to picture it, Sam could imagine the shadowy impressions of wings burnt into the floor of the ballroom. He felt nauseous thinking about Gabriel's body lying empty and abandoned.

"Damn you," Sam whispered brokenly, unsure who he was cursing. God? Lucifer? Gabriel? Himself? "Fuck!"

As his shudders eased into something more manageable, Sam loosened his hold on his legs and leaned back. He stared blankly up at the ceiling, blinking away water as it splashed into his eyes. He was vaguely aware of the water cooling, but he wasn't ready to go out and face Dean's scrutiny.

Sam scrubbed his hands over his face. The hollow feeling from earlier had turned to a deep-set, inescapable ache. As he hung his head, Sam's gaze fell to the tattoo on his left arm. He choked back an exhausted sob and covered the mark with his hand.

 _"You can have this, Sam. I promise, this is yours."_

"No. No, I can't."

*

The familiar sound of snapping fingers cut off the cheesy porno music and the scantily-clad woman lying on the bed vanished. Gabriel appeared sitting on the end of the bed a moment later, smirk in place. "Sorry, Dean, this probably isn't the video you're looking for."

He waved at the camera as he continued. "Hey guys. You're probably wondering what the hell is going on. Well, if you're watching this, I'm dead." He smiled brightly and rolled his eyes. "Oh please, stop sobbing! It's embarrassing for all of us!"

He leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. "Now here's the thing: without me, you've got no shot at killing Lucifer. Sorry. But!" Gabriel paused dramatically, hand raised. "You can trap him. The cage you sprung Lucifer from is still down there. And maybe, just maybe, you can pull out that dumb luck and shove his ass back in. Not that it'll be easy. You've gotta get the cage open, trick my bro back into it, plus avoid Michael and the God Squad." He shrugged. "But hey, details right?

"And here's the big secret, Lucifer himself doesn't even know. The key to the cage? Actually, it's _keys_ , plural." He held up four fingers and wiggled them. "Four keys – four rings. Yup, you guessed it, the Horsemen. You get them all, you got the cage. Two more to go, kids. Never did meet up with Death, but he might not require a fight to get his."

Gabriel ducked his head for a moment and when he looked up, the amused pretense had faded. "So Dean, you weren't wrong. Family means something to me, too, and that's put off what I should have done when you chuckleheads asked for my help. I was afraid to stand up to my brother, but not anymore." He stood up and spread his arms. "So this is me, standing up.

"Now, Dean, shove off and give me some privacy with your brother." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, followed up by a wink.

After a pause, Gabriel sat back down on the bed. "So, Sammy." His lips curved in a wry smile. "Never can tell how things are gonna go down. But hey, you've gotten this far. If anybody's got a chance coming out of this still standing, it's you." Gabriel rolled his eyes. "This better not turn into one of those chick-flick moments. But heck, I suppose you deserve to hear 'I believe in you.' And I do, Sam. They might not show it real well, but our brothers got through a lot of these past weeks because of you."

Gabriel sighed quietly. "Didn't mean to leave it like this, kiddo. I'm sorry." For long moments he stared at the camera, lips parted like he wanted to say something more.

Eventually he shrugged with a crooked smile and gave a jaunty wave.


	2. Act Two: Memories seep from my veins

There were many reasons not to mix magics. Even more reasons not to disrupt the threads of life and death. However, the powerful rarely follow all the rules. Kali had no qualms about her plan of action. She was a goddess, a powerful being and one of the last of her kind. Her domain revolved around the cycle of death. Although the ritual had to be customized to the particular circumstances, she felt confident in her abilities.

Had there been anyone around to question her motivation, she would have dismissed them with a glare. In truth she didn’t have a clear answer for herself. The demigod she’d known had meant something to her in the past, of course, but she had let many lovers’ deaths pass without a second’s pause. The archangel-in-hiding hadn’t meant more to her than any of her other long-term lovers. Perhaps there was a sense of debt to be paid since his sacrifice had allowed her to be the only god to survive the hotel massacre. Then there was the half-hidden looks exchanged between Gabriel and the younger Winchester. And the poleaxed expression on the human’s face when they drove away.

Kali didn’t dwell on her reasons for making the decision. Instead she focused her energy on adjusting the resurrection ritual and, perhaps more important, searching for the multitude of pieces that had made Gabriel whole. She had no example to follow in terms of her search. She relied on instinct and tracking spells to find his essence.

In the end she had to hope she found every piece. It was less like fitting a jigsaw puzzle together and more like trying to reconstruct a statue that had been reduced to rubble. The process was far from perfect, but she could feel the pulse of life grow stronger with each addition.

Kali spent almost a month preparing for the revival ritual. Although she stayed clear of the battling angels, demons, and Winchesters, she kept tabs on the events. Being informed aided in self-preservation as well as gave her something to tell Gabriel when he returned. She assumed he would continue the fight; as long as the Apocalypse didn’t come to its conclusion before she could complete the ritual.

*

Lightning arced across the sky the night Kali performed the ritual. Thunder rumbled loud enough that the ground seemed to vibrate. Kali and the archangel’s empty vessel were sheltered from the downpour by the large, abandoned warehouse she’d chosen for the ritual site. Symbols and candles spread across the entirety of the floor space. Protection and binding spells formed the outer boundary. The markings within were a strange mix of pagan symbology and Enochian writing.

She murmured the memorized incantations as she walked the designated path between symbols. Where her bare feet met the hard floor, small bursts of flame bloomed momentarily before fading. Ideally she might have conducted the ceremony outdoors, but the warehouse had allowed her to take additional warding measures.

The natural power of the storm lent itself well to the ritual's purpose. Kali felt the thunder rumble through her bones with every step she took toward her final position. She could feel the charge of lightning across her skin. Magics wove through the large space, twining together around the goddess and empty vessel at the heart of the ritual plane.

Kali took her place above the vessel's head, her feet settling almost close enough for her toes to brush his hair. She spread her hands above her head and beckoned Gabriel's essence to her so that she could channel it into the vessel. She began to rely more on instinct than preplanned steps as the ritual continued. She could feel the pieces of Gabriel's being reforming into a whole; as that progressed, his spirit seemed to take on its own power.

The candles at the outermost edges of the spellwork flared high for a minute before dying out. The air around the vessel began to glow as Gabriel's essence did, growing stronger with every moment. Kali struggled to stand her ground and act as guide to properly ease the spirit into place.

Finally Gabriel's essence flared bright and spiraled toward the waiting vessel. Kali closed her eyes against the light, although she was more than human and could have withstood the sight of the archangel's Grace-infused being.

A loud clap of thunder coincided with the sudden expiration of every candle. The glow slowly faded from the skin of Gabriel's vessel, the light seeming to sink into the flesh. Kali dropped her hands to her sides and panted quietly. The only other sound besides her breathing came from the storm outside. Her limbs shook in the aftermath but she remained standing in place, staring down at the body resting at her feet.

*

His body tingled with the feel of powerful magic. The air smelled of storms and sacrificial blood and herbs. He was lying on his back, arms at his sides and palms turned up.

"Gabriel."

He opened his eyes at the sound of his true name. As he stared up into Kali's face, he tried to place why it didn't seem as wrong as it should for her to say his name. She moved to kneel by his side as he carefully pushed himself into a seated position. His vessel's body ached as if he'd been prone for days. Around him he could feel a variety of magics dissipating, tendrils of it unwrapping from around his limbs.

"Gabriel, it's been weeks," Kali informed him.

"What do you mean?" he asked, searching his memories for what she could be talking about.

Her eyes narrowed as she ran a considering gaze over his face. "At the hotel you enabled our escape. Lucifer killed you."

Gabriel snapped, "What?" His jaw clenched in frustration. Lucifer was free, he remembered that now, and the resignation he'd felt knowing that his brothers were preparing for the final fight.

Kali looked startled. "You don't remember?" Her hand rose and hovered above his shoulder for a moment before she withdrew it again with a frown.

"No, no, it's fine. I..." he broke off with an angry growl. "You brought me back?"

For the first time that he could recall, Kali looked uncertain. "Yes... Perhaps you need some time to process everything."

Gabriel relaxed a little. "Better than being dead," he said as he pushed himself to his feet. He looked around the warehouse, taking in the intricacies of Kali's handiwork. He let out a low whistle. "You held nothing back, did you? All this for little ol' me?" He turned a leering grin her way.

Kali pursed her lips in annoyance. "Don't make me reconsider my decision. I could just kill you again." She reached into the sash around her waist and withdrew a silver blade – Gabriel's sword. His amusement vanished as he stared at it. "An archangel's blade," Kali murmured, turning it over in her hands. "It can kill Lucifer."

"Oh, please. Like anyone besides Michael wants to get that close to him." Gabriel rolled his eyes.

"You seemed ready to do it!" she argued.

"What, before I died? Yeah, that little experience really encourages an encore."

"Fine, give it to the Winchesters. I hear they're out of options."

Gabriel grabbed his blade while Kali was busy scowling at him. "And the end is nigh, yeah, yeah. Got it." He banished the blade to a safe place only he could access. "But here's an idea, those chuckleheads could accept their roles and then get their own pointy blades."

Kali stared at him, lips parted in what looked like astonishment. Gabriel frowned and wondered what she had gotten herself into recently. However, they'd been standing around long enough, and if Kali was only interested in chatting about the Biblical Apocalypse, then he was done.

"Look, sweetheart, thanks for the pick-me-up. I save your life, you save mine; even-Stevens. But I have plenty to do before this ship sinks, so if that's all? I'm outta here."

"You—" Kali gripped his shoulders tightly and tried to shake him. "What is wrong with you?" Anger and worry flared to life in her eyes.

Gabriel shoved her away and took a step back. "Back off, Kali," he warned.

"Something's wrong!" she retorted. Her eyes widened as Gabriel raised his hand. "Wait! Your memories—"

He snapped his fingers.

*

Dean drove back to Bobby's in a numb state of shock. Thanks to Castiel's angelic instant-healing, he didn't have the usual physical aches and pains to distract him.

By the time Dean parked alongside Bobby in the yard, he realized that regardless of what Sammy thought, the All-American Dream wasn't in his future.

~

It was four days before Dean broke down and asked Bobby to help research Lucifer's Cage. The older hunter fixed Dean with a stare and scratched his beard thoughtfully.

"Sammy... he wanted me to promise." Dean shifted uneasily in his chair. "But I can't not _try_ , Bobby."

Eventually Bobby muttered, "Took you long enough, idjit."

Dean looked up in surprise. "You're okay with this?"

"I'd sure as hell rather you be using your head before haring off to make some fool demonic deal," Bobby answered. He picked up a pile of books from the floor and dropped them with a thump onto the desk. "Here's your starting point."

Dean eyed the books warily. "And what are you looking at?"

"Plenty. Don't start bitchin' to me about reading material, boy."

~

A couple days later, Dean was in the midst of setting aside yet another unhelpful tome when he smelled a mix of expensive cologne and sulfur.

"Don't you bloody dare," a familiar voice growled.

Dean turned around with his hand still on the demon-killing knife. Just because Crowley had helped in the past weeks didn't mean he would trust the demon. "What're you doing here?"

Crowley smirked as he slipped his hands into his pockets and leaned against the doorway. "Well isn't that interesting, Robert didn't care to keep you informed."

"Bobby!" Dean called, eyes narrowed in suspicion. The older hunter could be heard muttering under his breath as he came down the hall. "Why's there a demon lurking around your house?"

Bobby stopped outside the door to glare at Crowley. When the demon merely widened his smirk, flashing his teeth, the hunter pushed past and headed for the whiskey on the shelf. "Don't get any fool ideas," he warned.

"Oh, like what?" Dean crossed his arms. "He's a crossroads demon and it seems to me that the last person who made a deal was _you_."

"No deals, promise." Crowley waved a hand and a moment later he held a tumbler filled with something dark. "Doesn't mean I lack insight into your rather unique problem."

Setting down a glass in front of Dean, Bobby explained, "A lot of the stuff we want ain't in a library." Crowley snorted something that sounded amused and Bobby glared at him. "Figured getting as much information as possible would be a good plan."

"Don't need you lot springing the Devil _again_ when you try pulling out the moose," Crowley added. He took a drink and smiled indulgently at Dean's skeptical expression.

"And we're supposed to trust you?" Dean asked.

Crowley shrugged. "Doesn't matter to me. It's been made plenty clear Lucifer's no friend of mine. Call me curious for wanting to see if you can actually pull this off."

With one last look between the two, Dean relaxed enough to turn back to his research.

~

"Drunk off your tits, I see."

"Fuck off," Dean muttered. He refused to even look up at the demon; instead he continued to peer at the bleary words on the page in front of him.

Two weeks had passed since Stull Cemetery. For the third night in a row Dean had woken from a nightmare of his own experiences of Hell with the addition of Sam trapped beside him. Like the other nights, he'd gone downstairs to research. Unlike the other nights, he'd steadily been drinking his weight in liquor.

Another lamp flickered to life as Crowley crossed the room. "Having trouble with that?"

"I really, really don't need to deal with you right now."

"If you're serious about bringing your brother back, this is going nowhere."

"What the fuck do you care?" Dean demanded. He shoved the incomprehensible book off the table. "There's other ways to make sure the Devil stays locked up other than helping us."

Crowley kicked a chair over towards Dean before sitting down in the human's view. A tight frown dominated his expression. "Listen up, boy, 'cause I'm only going to say this once. I got a visit from a mutual 'acquaintance' some months ago. He might've mentioned a bit of a favor with the added incentive of being rid of the Devil."

Dean scrunched his nose as he tried to piece that together. "Uh, who?"

Crowley huffed. "The bloody archangel, you idiot."

It took a few moments for Dean's alcohol-laden brain to make the obvious connection. "Gabriel?" He straightened up a little to look Crowley in the eye. "Gabriel went to see you. Why the hell would he do that?"

The demon arched an eyebrow at that. "War makes strange bedfellows, not that that has always been the requirement."

"Huh?" Dean shook his head, deciding he didn't need to work out what that meant.

The thought of Gabriel made him recall Elysian Fields and the events that had left Sam looking haunted. "Son of a bitch," Dean muttered. He scrubbed a hand over his face as he tried to shove aside the memories. _Figures the jerk finally decided to stand up just to get killed._

"Should I feel honored that I seem to be the only one who didn't get killed at any point during this Apocalypse venture?" Crowley mused.

Dean glared half-heartedly at the demon. His mind kept reenacting their escape from Lucifer. He couldn't forget Sam's anxious expression as Gabriel ordered them to go. Even Kali had looked—

"Shit!" Dean slammed his palm on the table. "Kali!"

Crowley leaned away, expression clearly showing he thought Dean had lost it. "What are you on about?"

The spark of an idea began to grow quickly as Dean let it sink in. "Kali, she's a-a... whatcha-callit goddess. Life, death, whatever."

"You—" Crowley pointed meaningfully at the human, "—are crazier than I thought."

For some reason Dean couldn't help smiling.

~

Bobby insisted on additional days of research for alternatives before agreeing to Dean's plan. Surprisingly, Crowley came around to the idea much quicker. When it became clear that Dean's drunk idea wasn't a passing fancy, the demon apparently decided to take it seriously. By the end of the third week even Bobby agreed it would be worth making contact. The three of them made preparations to call upon the goddess.

~

Kali did not look pleased about being summoned. She ran a cold gaze over the three men before focusing on Crowley. "I should have guessed you had something to do with this. Only you care to add a lion to the mix."

"A lion?" Dean asked with a frown.

Crowley grinned. "Didn't I mention it? He was a real beaut; gift-wrapped him, even."

The goddess pursed her lips and turned to Dean. "Why have you called?"

"You can get Sam out without freeing the Devil;" he didn't make it a question.

"You think so?" Kali crossed her arms and met his stare disdainfully. "It makes no difference to me. Your brother let Lucifer out and I hear Sam sealed him back in. It seems to me the balance has been restored."

Dean clenched his fists as he struggled to keep from shouting. "I know you understand there was a hell of a lot more that led to the Apocalypse. You were ready to fight to stop Lucifer. Well, my brother sacrificed himself to do that, and we helped you to escape!"

Kali's irises changed from dark-brown to blood red as she bared her teeth. "Don't you dare throw that at me," she hissed. " _You_ did nothing at the hotel."

Her anger made Dean flinch though he managed to resist the urge to step away. Before he could muster an argument, Crowley stepped in. "Fact remains, love, Winchester did shut in Satan. And I know this idiot won't stop trying to get at his brother. Self-preservation behooves us intelligent types to step in."

Slowly Kali's eyes returned to a natural human shade and her menacing aura relaxed. She continued to glare at Dean, but it was clear that she was considering Crowley's words.

Dean licked his lips and finally added, "Please."

She snorted at that, as if amused that he thought she would be swayed by such a simple word.

Eventually the goddess turned to Crowley. "I suppose you've thought of some options already?"

Crowley's eyebrow arched. "But of course." He stepped forward and offered his arm. "Care for a stroll?" Kali rolled her eyes but placed her hand on his forearm. Crowley looked back over his shoulder to wink at Dean. "Be back in a bit."


	3. Act Three: Isn't something missing?

Every inch of his skin felt burnt from the bottom of his feet to his scalp. He hardly dared to move for fear of sparking new pain. It eventually occurred to him that rather than any particular sound, silence rang in his ears. He cautiously opened his eyes and searched his surroundings in attempt to orient himself. He took in the sight of a dull, partially cloudy sky and the upper branches of trees. As he processed the images, his other senses seemed to kick in with new information.

His skin still ached but there were no flames scorching his skin; instead his fingers curled into grass and dry dirt. The air was fresh, natural, tugging at a memory in the back of his mind. The ringing in his ears slowly faded and he could hear rustling leaves moved by the light breeze also tugging at his hair.

None of this made sense. It was all too calm, too... pure.

Sam didn't know how long he laid in the grass, still except for his fingers clenching in the dirt and the movement of his eyes as he tracked the clouds in the sky. Eventually he pushed himself into a sitting position and looked around.

"Shit," he muttered when he recognized the cemetery surrounding him. He staggered to his feet and turned around slowly as he searched the area. This wasn't the Pit, that much he knew, but he had the sense that it wasn't real, either.

Someone clearing their throat had Sam swinging around to face the threat; he nearly fell over from the wave of dizziness brought on by the movement. A few feet away the demon Crowley stood with his hands tucked into his pants pockets.

"Sit down before you fall down, Gigantor."

Sam braced himself against a tombstone as he stared bleakly at the demon. "I _told_ Dean no deals! Take it back!"

Crowley snorted. "Oh please, like I'm mad enough to trade with that fool."

Confused, Sam asked, "Then why are you here?"

The demon looked up at the sky with a scowl. "Apparently Miss Hindu Goddess thinks you'd go barmy without someone sitting shotgun in your noggin during the transfer."

Sam opened and closed his mouth a few times, at a loss for what to say. "Kali?"

"That's the one." Crowley shrugged.

"Why would she... Why would _you_...?" Sam asked.

Crowley was silent for a long while, expression suggesting that he was turning something over in his mind and debating about sharing. Eventually he muttered something under his breath and moved closer to Sam.

"Call it a posthumous favor for an old friend."

Sam felt weak as he lowered himself to sit on the tombstone behind him. He stared at Crowley while letting the information sink in. He had no doubts as to the identity of the demon's friend. "You knew Gabriel," he whispered.

"Tolerable chap," Crowley admitted with a shrug. "Certainly didn't like the idea of Lucifer getting his hands on you."

Sam looked away from the knowing stare. The overwhelming heartache made his body pains fade into a dull numbness.

"When do I wake up?" he asked quietly.

The breeze around them picked up. Kali's voice whistled on the wind, "Soon enough. We needed to be sure nothing of Lucifer transferred with you." She paused and Sam looked around, wondering if she would manifest in this strange between-worlds. "Vessel or not, you're mortal, Winchester. Your body and soul have been deeply wounded."

"I know," Sam murmured. If he reached out he could feel some sort of shield currently keeping the worst at bay. He looked up at the sky, for lack of a better focus, and said, "Thanks."

"Don't call on me again. If your brother tries, I'll rip his arms off," she threatened.

While she was probably serious, Sam couldn't help but smile a little. "I'll pass the message along."

The wind began to die down, and Crowley mockingly saluted Sam. "See you on the other side, Moose." He vanished.

*

The wind brushing across his skin held a chill that hadn't been present in Stull Cemetery. Instead of grass, his stiff fingers curled against the fabric of a quilt. Slowly he sorted out the strange murmuring he heard until finally he could identify the creak of metal, footsteps, and familiar voices; though the words hadn't become clear enough to understand. Sam opened his eyes, blinking cautiously at the too-bright sky overhead.

"Sammy?" Shortly after Dean spoke, a hand pressed against Sam's arm. Sam flinched away from the contact and bit back a groan. Instantly the weight disappeared and the pain from the touch faded to a dull ache.

"Hey, Sammy?"

Sam turned his head to look up at Dean's worried face. He had to swallow a few times before he thought he could speak. "Yeah?" he whispered.

"Jesus," Dean breathed, eyes closing for a moment. He leaned forward but let his hands hover above Sam's arms. "D'you want to sit up?"

 _Not particularly,_ Sam thought. Movement made him acutely aware of too many aches and pains to count. He agreed to the suggestion, however, and motioned that it was okay for Dean to help him up.

"Are you okay, man?" Dean asked, brows furrowed in confusion as Sam grimaced.

"Fine," he muttered. Sam leaned wearily against Dean's shoulder. "Just getting my bearings."

Bobby's boots came into his line of sight. "When you're ready we'll get you inside, son."

Sam tipped his head to catch the older hunter's gaze. "He didn't make a deal?"

Bobby's lips curved into a smile. "Wouldn't let him do that even if he tried. We just happened upon some luck is all."

"Look, I think we all learned our lesson. Stop harping on it," Dean grumbled. "Plus, I think your boyfri—um, I think Gabriel kind of had an influence."

Sam let his eyes close again. Instead of replying directly he murmured, "I'm tired. Just... let's go inside."

*  
 _  
The first clue Sam had that something strange was happening came in the form of a woman's shrill voice demanding, "What are_ these _doing here?"_

 _Sam kept his finger against the binding of the history book he'd been interested in as he turned his head to glance over a nearby shelf. There was a woman standing in front of a set of shelves labeled for religious texts. She waved animatedly at the series of similarly bound paperbacks lining the shelves as she held a heated discussion with an elderly gentleman at her side. Sam narrowed his eyes suspiciously as he recognized the series lining the shelves._

 _"This is going to be hi-larious," Gabriel remarked as he stepped on a shelf and crossed his arms on top of the bookshelf next to Sam. Grinning, the angel nodded towards a pair of harried-looking employees arriving at the scene. "Think these two can take her?"_

 _"Gabriel..." Sam crossed his arms and glared at the angel. "Why did you replace the entire section with Chuck's novels?"_

 _Gabriel snickered as he watched the employees search the nearby shelves in confusion. "Ok, so he took a bit of artistic license – or his editors made him. Still, it's the modern era and fancy talk isn't real popular. Good ol' Chuck's 'novels' are more factual than most of the texts usually over there, though."_

 _Sam resisted the urge to groan. "Gabriel. Where did you move the Bibles?"_

 _"Hey, not just the Bible, Sammy." Gabriel turned his attention away from the drama unfolding across the way to wink at the hunter. "Christian texts are hardly the only ones getting things wrong."_

 _"Dude, you don't just— I mean..." Sam sighed. Reluctantly he asked, "Where'd you put them?"_

 _The expression on Gabriel's face epitomized the cat-who-ate-the-canary metaphor. The angel hopped down onto the floor and grabbed Sam's hand. He tugged the human partway across the store and down a row past a large selection of comics._

 _"Voila," Gabriel announced as they stopped in front of shelves filled with books categorized under "Science Fiction/Fantasy." Sam covered his face with his hand._

 _"Gabriel..." he drew the name out in a long groan._

 _The angel tugged at the hand he held and laughed. "Oh, come on! You must have thought about doing this before."_

 _"Can't say I have." Sam uncovered his face and stared warily at the group of Bibles sitting on the shelf above a novel entitled_ Adventures of the Bold and Beautiful Venusians _. "I can't believe you did this." Then, much to his own surprise, Sam started snickering._

 _Gabriel grinned and slapped Sam on the back. "That's the spirit!"_

 _"Oh my gosh!" A young woman with bright red hair and styled eyeliner stood next to them with her wide-eyed gaze fixed on the Holy Bibles. "Did somebody...?" She started giggling and turned to Gabriel and Sam. "Me and my friends have totally talked about doing this! But it's, like, blasphemous, right? We could never work up the nerve!"_

 _Gabriel smirked at her. "I assure you, things have been appropriately re-categorized!"_

 _She giggled some more but shook her head. "No way, someone's gonna go ape-shit over this."_

 _"Then sit back and watch, kid," Gabriel said._

 _The girl eyed him suspiciously, although she was still grinning. "And did something get moved to the religion section?"_

 _Gabriel winked. "Only the modern gospel. Guaranteed factual, very few details spared."_

 _"Hmm, guess I should check it out," she laughed._

 _As she walked away, Sam nudged the angel and whispered, "You're just going to encourage someone to copy this little stunt."_

 _"Awesome!" Gabriel turned so that he stood toe-to-toe with Sam. With a grin, the angel rose up on his tiptoes and planted a quick kiss on Sam's lips. "Now come on, let's find a good seat for the fireworks."_

 _Gabriel had already pulled away and walked past the human by the time Sam decided he wanted to return the kiss. Instead he hid a chuckle and asked, "We're not talking literal fireworks, right?"_

 _Sam turned around and his smile faded. Lucifer stood watching him with a cold expression. The Devil almost always appeared in the form of Nick, the simplest way for Sam to perceive the powerful being._

 _"Sam, he was never yours," Lucifer said pityingly. He stepped closer and curled his hands around Sam's biceps. "My brother always loved his little games." His hand slid down Sam's arm until his palm pressed against Gabriel's sigil. Lucifer's fingers tightened with preternatural strength._

 _Sam whimpered as his arm began to burn. Lucifer's hand glowed and tendrils of smoke trailed above the contact point. The smell of burning flesh made Sam gag. No amount of struggling could get him free. Lucifer pulled him closer, impossibly close, until Sam realized that he was no longer alone in his own mind. The fallen archangel slid into Sam's skin, invaded the human's mind, covered the soul with a smothering presence._

 _Lucifer raised their arms and examined the red, raw flesh where somehow, against all odds, Gabriel's sigil could still be seen. Sam flinched away as best he could as Lucifer's furious cry ripped through their throat._

 _"This is_ mine! _You are mine!" Heedless of the human body's sensation of pain, Lucifer dug into the raw flesh and began to scratch. Fingernails sliced into subcutaneous layers of skin, tearing deeper._

 _Despite the zealous determination Lucifer applied, the mark never seemed effected. Sam writhed in the small corner of his mind that he occupied. He couldn't wrestle control away from Lucifer and had to bear the full impact of sensation flooding his body.  
_  
*

Sam's throat burned as he gasped for air. The transition from dream to reality had made him disoriented as it began to sink in that he had control of his body again.

Slowly the overwhelming sound of his heartbeat lessened and he became aware of how ragged his breathing sounded.

"Sammy?" Dean leaned into view, expression worried. "You wanna get off the floor now?" Sam glanced down at himself and realized that somehow he had ended up sprawled on the floor instead of his bed.

"I'm just gonna..." Sam trailed off with a cough. He recognized the rough feeling of his throat and realized he must have been yelling before he woke up. "Just give me a minute." Sam rearranged his limbs so that he no longer sprawled haphazardly across the limited space. He looked down at his arm as he shifted and the sight didn't match with the lingering pain he felt.

Fully aware that Dean was watching him, Sam rolled up his sleeve. Gabriel's sigil showed no sign of damage. Hesitantly Sam pressed his fingers against the simple, unblemished black lines. There was no unusual reaction, no heat, no light, no pulse of power.

 _"Did you think it meant something? There is no bond, no connection. Another game for him, Samuel. Little brothers do love to vex their older siblings."_

"Hey, dude, don't zone out on me." Dean had moved to the floor and was busy waving a hand in front of Sam's face.

Sam leaned back a little to put some space between them. The room itself felt too close, he didn't need his brother crowding him. Dean seemed to pick up on that since he moved back to sit at the foot of the bed.

"So..."

"How long?" Sam asked.

Dean blinked in surprise, as if it had never occurred to him that Sam might ask. "Four weeks, Sammy. A month."

"I can count," Sam murmured absently. Not that saying "a month" meant much of anything when time was an indefinite concept to translate. Sam wasn't even sure if time in the Cage passed the same way as it did in the rest of Hell.

"A month," he repeated, letting the idea sink in this time. Not an unusual amount of time to pass between seeing friends, in a normal life. Sam didn't know the little details he should. Although he did have a detailed sense of those last weeks before the Pit, if only because of the attention paid to those memories while in the Cage.

Dean shifted noisily, his boots scuffing the carpet as he leaned forward. "So, uh, we were kind of thinking about grabbing dinner when you got up."

Sam scrubbed a hand over his face as he assessed his body's status. "Maybe..." he said. His throat still itched. "I could use some water."

~

Sam ate slowly since he figured out he wasn't very hungry. Throughout the meal he found himself staring at Bobby and unable to turn away. The older hunter had moved around the kitchen with an ease Sam hadn't seen since before Lucifer's rising. It was hard to reconcile the scene with Sam's memories of Lucifer's sharp hand twist and the loud crack of Bobby's neck snapping.

"It's rude to stare," Dean joked.

Sam didn't look away even though Bobby now met his gaze. "You were dead," he said. Bobby glanced at Dean.

"Cas used his mojo to sort things out." Dean shrugged.

The memory of the angel exploding into a thousand gory pieces guaranteed Sam wouldn't be finishing dinner. "Castiel...?"

Dean's smile looked a little forced. "Yeah. Fixed us up then headed back to Heaven to play sheriff."

Sam hunched his shoulders and stared down at the table as he tried process the information. "Castiel... is alive," he murmured. He crossed his arms in a tight self-hug in attempt to hide his trembling.

"Yeah, Sam," Dean sounded confused. "Apparently God brought him back."

Biting his lip to keep back a bark of laughter, Sam shook his head. "God. Who told us to leave Him alone, who Cas gave up on. _God_ brought Castiel back _again_?" He snapped his mouth closed at the urge to laugh hysterically rose.

"Sammy—"

Sam abruptly shoved back from the table and rushed for the door. The air was too heavy, the room too small, and it was too hard to breathe inside. In the kitchen he could hear Dean's concerned shout and Bobby's softer rumble to smooth things over. Sam walked briskly through the yard, putting as much space between himself and the house as possible.

God had intervened and reformed Castiel for a second time. What made the angel so special? Why was it God came to Cas' aid but refused to interfere with anything else? And if Castiel could bring back Bobby, why had he done nothing to help Sam?"

Eventually Sam came to a stop. He dropped his arms to his sides and let his head fall back. He wanted to scream his frustration but didn't need Dean to come running. "Why do you get another chance?" he half-shouted at the darkening sky. _Why do any of us get our lives back?_

His hand moved to curl around his arm with Gabriel's sigil. Sam squeezed his eyes shut and let out a stuttering sob.

*

Three hunters sitting around post averted-Apocalypse would never amount to anything good. Less than two weeks after Sam's return, Bobby sent the brothers off on a haunting case located in Missouri.

Things weren’t exactly how they used to be. The hours spent in the car were uncomfortable; the air heavy with everything they couldn't or wouldn't talk about. Eventually it seemed that Dean found it an acceptable topic to wonder aloud about the few friends they still had. Not surprisingly, Dean spent most of his time speculating about Castiel's new role in Heaven.

They pulled into Joplin too late to talk with anyone and instead focused on grabbing dinner out before checking into a motel. Dean nodded off around midnight in the middle of a black-and-white sitcom. Sam hunched over his laptop, intent on research preparation and avoiding sleep for as long as he could. Eventually he would have to rest at least a little or risk making mistakes during the hunt, but he would wait for exhaustion to smother his persistent nightmares.

~

Scattered showers had developed into a steady rainfall by the time Dean and Sam uncovered the ghost's grave. The simple salt and burn turned into a mess of mud and pooling water as they were forced to start the fire while still in the hole, attempting to keep the corpse dry enough to catch fire. Fortunately the flames caught quickly and burned strong enough to finish the job before the rain ruined the possibility.

They were halfway back to the Impala when the first rumble of thunder shook the air. Sam hunched his shoulders and ran faster towards the car. In the distance lightning flashed. Dean opened the trunk to toss in their supplies.

They ducked into the car just as a long roll of thunder started. Sam curled in on himself and shivered.

Dean popped in a tape as he started up the car. "You cold?" he asked, sounding skeptical.

Sam accepted the offered excuse with a nod. "Yeah. Shower sounds good."

Vivid spikes of lightning split across the sky. The next clap of thunder seemed to penetrate Sam's bones. The feeling was too reminiscent of how Lucifer and Michael began their arguments.

Sam grabbed for the volume dial and twisted it up. He studiously avoided Dean's stare and was grateful that his brother didn't press the issue.

~  
 _  
The blood of so-called gods clung to Sam's skin and clothing. He had seen how deep the pagan's rage and grief went. He would have ended her suffering were it not for the wayward archangel that appeared to protect her escape._

 _Sam allowed himself a disdainful smile as they circled each other. "Over a girl. Gabriel, really? I mean I knew you were slumming, but I hope you didn't catch anything."_

 _The younger angel looked grim. "Lucifer, you're my brother. And I love you. But you are a great big bag of dicks."_

 _Sam/Lucifer curled his lip in distaste. "Wait, what did you just say to me?"_

 _Gabriel spread his arms to indicate the world at large. "Look at yourself! Boo-hoo! Daddy was mean to me, so I'm gonna smash up all his toys."_

 _"Watch your tone," he hissed in warning._

 _"Play the victim all you want." Gabriel's expression remained firm but Sam recognized the weariness in those amber eyes. "But you and me? We know the truth. Dad loved you best. More than Michael, more than me. Then he brought the new baby home and you couldn't handle it. So this is all just one big temper tantrum. Time to grow up."_

 _It made no sense. "Gabriel, if you're doing this for Michael—"_

 _"Screw him!" Gabriel snarled. "If he was standing here, I'd shiv his ass too."_

 _Fury ripped through Sam as he glared at the archangel. "You disloyal—!"_

 _"Oh I'm loyal. To them!"_

 _"Who? These so-called gods?" Sam demanded._

 _Gabriel released a tired-sounding laugh. "To people, Lucifer. People."_

 _"So you're willing to die, for a pile of cockroaches. Why?" It went against all logic for Gabriel to stand against his brothers; for a doomed species, no less._

 _"Because Dad was right. They are better than us."_

 _"They are broken. Flawed! Abortions," Sam hissed, patience wearing thin._

 _"Damn right they're flawed. But a lot of them try – to do better, to forgive." Gabriel grinned, "And you should see the Spearmint Rhino! I've been riding the pine a long time. But I'm in the game now, and I'm not on your side, or Michael's. I'm on theirs."_

 _The fury hadn't gone, but Sam felt a rising sense of bitterness as he issued one last warning. "Brother, don't make me do this."_

 _Gabriel's lips pressed in a tight line and he shook his head. "No one makes us do anything."_

 _"I know you think you're doing the right thing, Gabriel." Sam sighed to himself. "But I know where your heart truly lies." He spun around and caught the real Gabriel's raised arm. Aided by the element of surprise, it was easy to redirect the killing blow and impale the archangel on his own blade._

 _"Here," Sam murmured. Gabriel stared up at him in shock, the disbelief and betrayal sliced through the tight hold Lucifer had on Sam and suddenly they were two again._

 _Sam dropped to his knees and watched helplessly as Lucifer pressed his free hand to Gabriel's cheek. "Amateur hocus pocus. Don't forget, you learned all your tricks from me, little brother." He jerked the blade one last time and watched dispassionately as his brother's Grace burned out in a powerful burst of light._

 _Gabriel's body slumped lifelessly to the floor as soon as Lucifer released the blade. The black ashy imprint of wings spread across most of the ballroom. Sam crawled forward on shaky limbs. He pressed his hands to Gabriel's chest, his neck, his face. "Please... oh, God, please..." He tilted the angel's head and stared into dull eyes. Sam clenched his fingers in Gabriel's jacket and sobbed, unable to hold back his grief any longer._

 _"He never wanted to get involved," Lucifer said. He crouched on the other side of the dead angel to catch Sam's attention. "You thought nothing of his welfare when you insisted he fight." Lucifer reached out and gently ran a fingertip down the side of Gabriel's face. Sam went to slap him away but the Devil grabbed his hand tight enough for the bones to scrape together._

 _Lucifer's eyes flashed angrily. "You dared to put him in harm's way. This wasn't meant for him!"_

 _Sam ignored the pain in his hand and shouted, "_ You _killed him!"_

 _"Watch your tongue!" Lucifer twisted Sam's hand with a sharp jerk that broke the bones with a loud crack. Sam curled over his broken wrist and Gabriel's body as flames burst to life around the room. Lucifer stood up and sneered down at them.  
_  
~

Sam woke up screaming. Dean leaned over him, holding down his flailing limbs. It was a long time before Sam stopped crying.

*

They didn't talk about another hunting trip when they regrouped. Bobby said something about getting Dean to help out with legitimate work and suggested Sam help with research when other hunters called in. It was a pretty clear setup to keep an eye on Sam until he improved. As much as he would prefer the focus of a hunt and travel, Sam felt relief at not being responsible for the safety of himself or his brother in a fight.

The "down time" meant Sam avoided sleep as long as he could, waiting for exhaustion to knock him out for a few hours. It didn't rid him completely of nightmares or flashbacks, but fatigue provided a protective layer of numbness. Even so, he could get the research done that Bobby wanted.

Whenever he could, Sam did work outside to escape the enclosed spaces of the house. He remembered how Bobby's used to feel cozy with its familiar clutter. Now, it seemed too oppressive.

Within a week, Crowley showed up. Sam first saw the demon when he went to return a couple books to the library. He stopped in the doorway when he realized that Bobby and Crowley were chatting amiably at the desk. It was the first time Sam had seen the demon since the mindscape scene during his extraction from the Cage.

"Done with that?" Bobby asked, beckoning Sam into the room.

"Um, yeah. Don't think it's the right thing, though." Sam kept shooting glances at Crowley.

The older hunter rolled his eyes. "We're not discussing soul-swapping, idjit."

"Bit of complicated work, that is," Crowley remarked with a lazy smirk. He arched an eyebrow at Sam's suspicious gaze. "I am what I am, boy, don't give me that look."

Sam glanced at the other hunter.

Bobby scratched at his beard for a moment before saying anything. "He's surprisingly reasonable company." He shrugged. "Better to keep an eye on him, anyway." The statement lacked a tone of seriousness, however.

Crowley made a face in response. "Charming, Robert."

Wonderful; now Bobby was the one making friends with supernatural beings. He could have chosen worse than Crowley, of course, so Sam decided to leave off any arguments.

"Um, I'm just going to see if Dean needs anything," Sam excused himself, ignoring the feel of  
Crowley's pensive stare.

~

"—ever learn?" Sam hadn't expected to step out of the house and hear Dean shouting. The reason why became clear as soon as Sam turned the corner: Castiel stood beside the Impala's open hood and watched calmly as Dean waved his arms and continued to shout.

"Seriously, man, what is wrong with you? You just up and vanish with a shitty goodbye and decide it's okay to just pop in without warning? It's been _weeks_ and—" Dean sighed sharply, cutting himself off. "Never mind." He stared at Castiel silently for a few beats before stepping forward and slapping his hands on the angel's shoulders. "I missed you, you jerk!" Castiel blinked and tilted his head at the admission.

Sam walked closer and apparently made enough noise for Dean to realize someone had joined them. Dean quickly pulled away from the angel and schooled his expression into something bland. "Hey, Sammy."

Castiel's gaze ran slowly over Sam. "I was unaware Dean secured your safe return."

"No thanks to you," Sam said without thinking.

"Sam!" Dean stared at him incredulously. Sam was surprised, too, though he didn't regret saying it. Castiel merely tilted his head in acknowledgement.

"Attempts to extract you from the Cage without grievous harm to yourself or allowing Lucifer to escape were ill-advised." A flicker of emotion softened the angel's expression. "However, I am pleased to see you are well, Sam."

Great, now he did feel a little guilty for snapping.

Dean assured, "No soul deals involved."

"I would be interested in hearing the details later," Castiel admitted, gaze returning to Dean.

"Oh. Something's up?" Sam could easily see his brother's disappointment that it had taken some mission to get the angel to return.

"Yes. Although I returned to find Heaven in better order than I feared, there is significant conflict. Factions have formed and I fear that if we are unable to settle our arguments, another war will ensue."

Dean exchanged a wary look with his brother. "Yeah, just what we need."

"What do you think we can do?" Sam asked.

Castiel looked grim as he explained, "One of the more militant factions left Heaven in order to meet in secret. I have been unable to successfully track them since their descent to Earth. They are implementing wards to hide from angelic view."

"I hope you have a little more to work with than that," Dean said, looking skeptical.

"I will assist in the search," Castiel replied. Sam thought he looked a little uncomfortable.

Dean shut the hood of the Impala and gestured toward the house. "Might as well get Bobby in on this."

"Of course."

They were halfway to the house when Sam thought to warn, "Uh... Crowley's visiting."

Castiel tilted his head inquisitively as Dean muttered something unflattering.

"Oh look who's come back around." Speaking of the demon... Crowley was leaning in the doorway when they started up the porch steps. "Troubles, angel? Or just a social call?"

The angel looked over the demon silently for long moments; Sam and Dean began to shift uncomfortably, Crowley merely looked amused.

Finally Castiel said, "You may be of some assistance."

*  
 _  
Lucifer plunged the blade into Gabriel's chest, the vessel's body giving easily beneath angelic strength. Sam watched from the Devil's eyes in horror. Gabriel stared up at him with shock and betrayal clear in his expression. Lucifer raised his free hand to the archangel's cheek._

 _"Amateur hocus pocus. Don't forget, you learned all your tricks from me, little brother." He jabbed the blade upwards, piercing his brother's heart._

 _Gabriel's eyes and mouth filled with light as his Grace burst free and vanished in a final flare. Lucifer let the empty vessel drop and looked down. The only indication that the body had held something more, something better than human were the burned shadows of the archangel's wings._

 _Sam struggled within Lucifer's grasp, desperate to reach Gabriel's side no matter how many times he had seen this ending. He knew there was nothing he could do to change events, nothing he could do to improve the situation; but Sam hated being forced to wield the blade. He felt sick each time he felt flesh and bone give way and the betrayed look aimed at_ him _._

 _Eventually Lucifer let go and Sam stumbled into his own body. He half-fell to the ground next to Gabriel and touched the sightless face._

 _"How could you let this happen?" Sam carefully moved the vessel so that he could cradle the empty body. "I'm sorry," he whispered brokenly. "Oh God, I'm sorry. Please..."_

 _"He would still be alive if you'd just accepted your destiny."_

 _Sam looked up at Lucifer but he was too worn out to work up any anger. "Please," he whispered, "just stop. I know... I know—"_

 _"You know nothing." Lucifer snapped his fingers and Gabriel's body was suddenly ablaze._

 _~_

 _Sam cried out as he reached for a body that was no longer in his arms. He clenched at the bed sheets as he gasped for air clear of smoke and the sickening smell of burning flesh._

 _He closed his eyes and scrubbed at the tears running unchecked down his cheeks. Slowly his breathing returned to normal. Sam rolled over with the thought of getting up, but exhaustion weighed him down. As much as he didn't want to sleep and bring on more nightmares, his body didn't want to move._

 _"Hey, you have another nightmare?"_

 _The unexpected voice sparked some reserve of energy and Sam quickly twisted around. Gabriel lounged beside him, propped up on one arm as he looked at Sam with a mildly concerned expression._

 _"I... Yeah. What?"_

 _Gabriel touched Sam's shoulder and guided the human to lay flat. "I just got back, sorry I wasn't here." He moved so that he was mostly lying on top of Sam; he braced himself on his elbows._

 _"I don't understand..." Sam cautiously raised his hand to Gabriel's side. The skin was warm under his hand. "Gabriel?"_

 _The angel pressed a kiss to the corner of Sam's lips. "A_ really _bad dream, huh kiddo?"_

 _Sam rubbed his hand along Gabriel's side as he stared up into the bright,_ alive _eyes. "You're dead," he whispered._

 _"You have crappy dreams," Gabriel said, nose wrinkling in distaste. "It's fine, Sammy. I'm here." He brought his hand to Sam's cheek and rubbed his thumb along the lingering tear tracks._

 _"But..." Sam closed his eyes and leaned into the caress. He wanted this to be real. "Please, don't do this to me," he begged quietly._

 _"Shh, Sam." Their lips brushed together briefly. "Look at me," Gabriel murmured._

 _Reluctantly Sam opened his eyes. Gabriel's face hovered above his own, expression serene._

 _Amber eyes began to glow, the light growing brighter with each passing second. Sam had seen the archangel's final moments too many times not to recognize what was happening._

 _"No!" Sam had to shut his eyes as the archangel's Grace burned out and he was enveloped in whiteness._

 _After the light had faded and Gabriel's weight had disappeared, Sam released a long, shuddering sob. He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes._

 _"Whatever happened to dreams of showing up naked in class?"_

 _Sam moaned quietly. "Please... no more."_

 _"Oh don't get me wrong, I'm flattered," Gabriel said, tone sarcastic. "All the things your psyche could draw on and you chose me?"_

 _"I can't keep doing this. Please, go away."_

 _"I'd love to have you out of my hair, believe me, but it's kind of hard to ignore someone screaming for you all the time." Gabriel pulled Sam's hands away so that the human was forced to look up at him. The archangel looked irritated. "Seriously, you need to find a new obsession."_

 _Sam tried to pull away from Gabriel's grip without success. "You're dead."_

 _Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Okay, fine, I_ was _dead. Somehow I got caught up in your ill-advised campaign." He pursed his lips contemplatively for a moment. "Congrats on working that out, by the way, didn't think you'd have it in you._

 _"Point is, do I look dead?"_

 _"You never do," Sam replied tiredly. "Please, Gabriel..."_

 _"You are insufferable." Gabriel let go of Sam's arms and stepped away from the bedside. "If you think I'm dead, then why do you keep yelling my name? The dead can't answer, Sammy," he reminded. "Well, I suppose there's exceptions."_

 _"Go away," Sam tried again._

 _Gabriel glared but apparently decided to give in. He huffed an annoyed sigh. "Fine. I'll leave you to your charming dreams, but if you call me again, you better believe I'm tracking you down to gag you. This is getting ridiculous."  
_  
*

Sam was all too aware of the stares focused on his back as he moved around the kitchen making breakfast for himself. It made him tense and paranoid. There weren't many choices as to the reason why he'd be drawing attention this early in the day.

By the time he sat down at the table, the stares had become a little less intense as Bobby and Dean seemed less inclined to catch his eye. But Sam had had enough.

"What?" he demanded.

Dean hunched over his bowl of cereal, looking distinctly uncomfortable about the prospect of having to talk. Bobby scowled at the older brother.

Sam bit into his toast with a loud crunch. He altered his stare between the two, irritated that they couldn't just spit it out and get past this.

The smell of sulfur and cologne announced Crowley's presence before the demon walked into view. He dismissed the silent hunters with a glance and settled into the chair opposite Sam.

"You have a helluva set of lungs," Crowley remarked. He crossed his hands on the tabletop and stared expectantly at Sam. "These gents are attempting to avoid addressing the fact that your hollering advertises your nightmares."

Dean scowled at Crowley but remained hunched protectively over his cereal. "What do you know about it?" he grumbled.

Crowley's smile eerily reminded Sam of the Cheshire Cat.

Bobby ignored the staring contest and turned to Sam. "If you need, we can look into some ways to help, son," he offered quietly.

Sam rolled his shoulders, distinctly uncomfortable with the conversation. He wondered just how much he revealed while he slept. By the time he woke, he usually had reached the point of wordless cries.

"Bobby, did you know you had a demon spending the night?" Dean asked, sounding irritated.

Sam didn't hear the reply, his attention drawn to the tattoo on his arm as he remembered the night's twisted dreams. He thought back to the painful burn as Gabriel marked his arm and the quietly reverent tone as he identified the sections of the symbol; _"Strength. Endurance. Goodness. Hope."_

Crowley's whistle snapped attention back to the present. The demon was watching Sam's fingers trace the tattoo; the human hadn't realized he'd started doing that. "You know what that is?"

Sam pulled back and hid his arms underneath the table. "Doesn't matter," he replied shortly.

"Bollocks." Crowley smirked and pointed at Sam. "I _knew_ there was something going on. Fool wouldn't admit to anything."

"Doesn't. Matter," Sam growled, shoving back from the table. He strode to the back door, not caring that he was still barefoot.

"Sammy—"

"Not now, Dean!"

As the screen door slammed behind him, Sam heard Crowley complaining, "Don't kick me, old man!"

"Learn to shut your trap."

*

Eventually Sam returned to the house. A shower and change of clothes later, he joined the research effort downstairs. Crowley had gone off again, either doing some field investigation or, more likely, seeing to the business side of things.

Castiel had speculated that the missing angel faction had holed up somewhere with wards forming a barrier around a single location. The hunters focused their research on various warding options as well as ways to dismantle the barriers. On the chance that the angels were using more personalized wards, they marked passages that could apply.

Conversation, what little there was, surrounded research and an argument about dinner.

By the time Dean abandoned the books that evening, Crowley had appeared with a couple thick tomes. Bobby eyed the books bound with questionable material and sighed. "That can wait 'til morning."

"I'll just take a quick look," Sam offered, getting up to grab the top book. No one objected so he took the book with him into the living room. He stretched out on the couch, planning to get through as much information as he could.

~

"Can't avoid it forever." Sam looked up at Crowley and was surprised to realize how dark the room was beyond the circle of lamplight by the couch. The demon sat in the armchair and crossed his ankle over his knee as he leaned back.

Sam placed a finger on the paragraph he was reading; he had the feeling that the demon wouldn't just go away if he tried to ignore him.

"Getting by on little sleep is nothing new," Sam said.

"Doesn't mean it's a good idea." Crowley steepled his fingers together as he stared at the hunter. "There _are_ ways to be rid of those nightmares."

"Memories," Sam muttered. "It's usually memories." He broke away from Crowley's contemplative stare. "They'll... fade away in time."

Crowley snorted. "You don't believe it. Though with your history of addiction, I s'pose you aren't keen to take up a new dependency."

"I won't let it be a problem." Sam clenched his jaw in frustration.

"Get your head out of your ass, hunter," Crowley grumbled.

Sam glared at the demon. "What do you care?"

"In case you've forgotten, your brother's pet angel sees another war coming. Heaven isn't the only realm in disarray. Seeing as you hunters keep getting in the middle of things, it's my preference you're the vision of health."

Sam rubbed a hand over his face. "And what if I said I'm sitting this one out?"

A huff of laughter escaped the demon. "Oh yes, I'm sure that'll happen." He leaned forward and fixed Sam with a pointed stare. "Your advanced guilt complex won't let you sit by. Bit arrogant to think all this is 'cause of you, innit?"

"What? This doesn't have anything to do with me." Sam scowled.

"Say what you like, boy." Crowley stood up and smoothed his already immaculate suit. "Try not to wake the whole bloody house. Again."

Despite Sam's best attempts, he fell victim to his exhaustion a little more than an hour later.

*  
 _  
Dean had gone back inside, leaving Sam alone with Gabriel. Letting out a shaky sigh, Sam turned back to the angel. "Thanks for not saying anything else." Gabriel snorted and the annoyed sound coaxed a smile from Sam. "Really. It's, uh, kind of a tradition to blow up before processing surprises." He had to believe Dean would be okay with this, preferably sooner rather than later._

 _Gabriel wrapped his arms around Sam's neck and complained, "Well I don't like it. He's full of shit, by the way." He hopped up, wrapping his legs around Sam and planting a quick kiss on the human's nose. Sam grunted in surprise as he moved his hands to help hold the smirking angel up. "But your brother's nosing around did prove we should move someplace a little more private."_

 _With a snap they appeared in Sam's room._

 _"Now where were we before that rude interruption?" Gabriel tilted his head and began nibbling his way along Sam's jaw. One of his hands caressed up and down Sam's bare arm._

 _Sam moved to the bed, still supporting the archangel's weight. Gabriel showed no inclination to let go; to accommodate that, Sam turned and let himself fall backwards, pulling Gabriel down with him._

 _A chuckle passed Gabriel's lips as they bounced twice against the mattress. He rearranged himself into a full out sprawl on top of Sam and resumed trailing nips and licks across Sam's skin. The angel's fingers skimmed along the still sensitive skin of the new tattoo as he moved his lips over the human's shoulder._

 _Sam shivered when Gabriel's lips pressed against the tattooed sigil. His fingers slid into Gabriel's hair and curled tight when he felt a sudden tingle of something like electricity jolt up his arm. He tilted his head to get a good look at the angel._

 _"It's okay," Gabriel assured with a small smile. He glanced up and pinpricks of light shone from the center of his pupils. Gabriel's thumb brushing against his arm turned Sam's attention back to the sigil and his breath caught when he saw the formerly black marks glowing with a shimmering display of light._

 _"Is that—?"_

 _"Shh." Gabriel kissed the mark before shifting up and pressing his lips against Sam's. "I'm here, with you – for you." He followed up his words with a gentle nip to the human's ear. He whispered, "Promise."_

 _When Gabriel snapped away their clothes a few minutes later, Sam didn't protest._

 _~_

 _The first thing Sam noticed when he woke up was that he felt cold without his lover laying at his side. The second thing he realized was that the room had changed. He sat up and let the blankets pool in his lap. He immediately relaxed when he saw Gabriel standing at the window._

 _"Hey. Why the change in scenery?" Sam asked as he rubbed sleep from his eyes._

 _Gabriel turned and smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "You know where we are, Sammy," he said quietly. He returned to the bed and sat on the edge of the mattress._

 _"I don't... think so." Sam looked around the room. He had a slight sense of familiarity, but with the number of hotel rooms he'd stayed in, that wasn't unusual. "Although, it looks like the setting for one of Dean's pornos."_

 _A pen with the hotel's logo landed in Sam's lap. "Never can tell how things are going to go down," Gabriel said. Sam could feel the angel watching him as he turned the pen to read the name._

 _"Elysian Fields?" It took a moment for the memories to fall into place. "No..." Sam grabbed Gabriel's arms and tried to drag him closer. "If you go out there, you won't come back."_

 _Gabriel offered a sad-looking smile as he slipped free of Sam's hold. "I'm already gone." The angel walked backwards unwaveringly to the door. "I'm sorry, kiddo."_

 _As the archangel turned to leave, Sam pulled free of tangled sheets and ran for the door. "Gabriel! Please!"_

 _Unbearably bright light shone through the doorway, forcing Sam to shield his eyes and back away. "Gabriel!"  
_  
*

"There's a lot of information to sort through here, Cas," Dean said as Bobby flattened out a marked-up map on the kitchen table. "In case you forgot, we humans are limited in our transportation options."

The angel leaned over the map of the United States. His eyes moved slowly over the marked areas. The three hunters waited quietly for some reaction. Crowley occupied himself by pouring a tumbler of brandy.

"Interesting."

Bobby looked exasperated. Dean crossed his arms. "Seriously? We've been at this for days now, care to let us know if we're even on the right path here?"

Sam asked, "Can you narrow it down further?"

Castiel didn't respond for another minute as he continued to stare at the map. "I believe further investigation into the Southwest would be beneficial."

"What d'you think," Dean asked, looking to the other hunters, "we head out tomorrow?"

"Pretty sure there'll be a few hunts you could take up on the way," Bobby said. "Gives us some time on this end to get some more info."

Crowley raised an eyebrow at that. "It's 'us' now, is it?"

"Shuddup, no one's put a leash on you."

Sam and Dean exchanged a surprised look when the demon merely scowled in response.

"There's..." Castiel stood ramrod straight, head tilted to the side. His lips turned down in a sharp frown.

Visibly tensing, Dean asked, "Cas, what—?"

"Wow, bro, you're sporting some major mojo these days."

The spitting image of Gabriel appeared sitting tailor-style on Bobby's counter with a bag of gummy bears. Dean and Bobby headed toward the nearest weapons; Crowley made a strategic retreat to the other side of the room; Castiel's eyes widened but he didn't move. Sam felt dizzy as the blood rushed from his head.

The Gabriel-lookalike rolled his eyes dramatically and snapped away the knife and gun the hunters had nearly managed to grab. "Geez, what a reception. Take one for Team Rebel and I still get no respect."

"I don't know what the fuck you are, but you're at the top of my gank list," Dean growled. He moved conspicuously into a position between his brother and the lookalike.

Castiel slowly walked to the counter, stopping only a foot away. The Gabriel-image tucked the gummy bears into his jacket pocket and then spread his arms out. "Okay, get your little diagnostic scan over with. I've got places to be and questions to be answered."

Only a few moments passed before surprise overtook Castiel's expression. "Brother, I am pleased to see you alive."

"You mean— What?" Dean looked quickly between Castiel and the lookalike.

Castiel turned his gaze to Sam and confirmed, "It is Gabriel."

"Told you." Gabriel smirked.

Sam shook his head in disbelief. "How... _when?_ " He wanted to go to Gabriel but he felt frozen in place, still stunned by Castiel's confirmation and confused by the archangel's all-Trickster expression.

"Secrets of the trade," Gabriel dismissed with a wave.

"Our Father did not return you?" Castiel tilted his head inquisitively and peered at the other angel with a scrutinizing look.

"So many questions! Are you just nosy or did you really miss me?" The way Gabriel said it and the mocking laugh that followed was unlike anything they'd heard since the TV land incident.

No one replied. Sam felt sick to his stomach.

Gabriel frowned at the group. "Seriously?" He uncrossed his legs and hopped off the counter. "Okay, okay, first and last opportunity for hugs!" With a cocky grin he spread his arms out. When no one made a move, he turned a pout towards Castiel, "No hug for your big brother?"

"Is it customary?" Castiel asked.

Gabriel saw Dean make a face at that. The archangel turned on the older Winchester. "Aw, c'mon Deano, spare a hug for the not-so-newly-resurrected?"

"Back off, asshole," Dean growled.

"Yeah, yeah, you're the macho man, got it. Fist bump? No? Fine." Gabriel snapped his fingers and suddenly appeared close at Sam's side, mere inches from touching. "Clearly you're the most touchy-feely of the group, Sammy, whaddya say?"

Sam felt drawn to Gabriel, regardless of the situation's confusion and the fear gnawing at his insides. He leaned closer without conscious decision to do so. After countless nightmares of his lover's death, the temptation to reach out and finally, _finally_ hold someone real was too much to resist.

It felt right to wrap his arms around Gabriel again. The archangel's warmth drifted into him and it came as a familiar comfort. Instinctively Sam tightened the embrace and pressed his cheek against Gabriel's hair.

The angel didn't hug back and made a disgruntled noise when Sam's hold tightened.

"Okay, big guy, time to let go!" Gabriel slapped Sam's arm. A few moments later, Gabriel said, "So you missed me, got it. You can let me go."

Before Sam had time to process the implications of what Gabriel said, the angel had snapped himself back to the counter. With the angel's absence, Sam hugged his arms around himself. He could feel the others staring at him but when he lifted his head, he looked only to Gabriel.

At first glance the archangel's expression held amusement and mockery; it hurt to look at. Desperately hoping he'd read it wrong, Sam searched for something else. Much to his relief, Sam recognized the slight tensing of facial muscles that indicated Gabriel was trying to work something out in his mind.

Dean finally broke the silence. "Okay, what the _fuck_ is going on?" He took a step toward the archangel.

"I would love to know," Gabriel replied, irritation clear in his voice. "I've got things to do but it's just a _little_ hard to concentrate when your brother is yelling his head off for me."

"Something's wrong," Castiel said, eyes narrowing as he stared at the other angel.

"Yeah, that's obvious, Cas," Dean snapped.

"Have your lover's tiff later, boys. I want to know why a Winchester's so preoccupied with my death." Gabriel stared pointedly in Sam's direction. "I'd like to get on with my life without the constant interruptions."

The problem was so obvious but Sam had been silently praying that it wasn't the case. It felt like his throat had closed up when he tried to speak. "You don't remember..."

Gabriel's expression turned guarded and suspicion flashed in his eyes.

"Brother, how is it you have returned?" Castiel asked, sounding surprisingly earnest.

The archangel glared in response before snapping away. He didn't reappear.

Sam couldn't tell how long he stared at the empty counter before Bobby clasped a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Sit down, son."

Sam sank slowly onto the chair someone had pulled out for him, feeling numb. _He doesn't remember. He doesn't know any of it. Why...?_

"Son of a bitch," Dean muttered.

*

As much as he'd like to ignore the bits of memory loss, Sam Winchester's frequent calls and the strangeness of the encounter in the hunter's kitchen had Gabriel on-edge. It was frustrating how much not understanding their reactions bothered him. He knew from Kali that somehow he'd made the choice to stand against Lucifer. That would have put him on better terms with the Winchesters and Castiel. However, until he'd dropped in on the group, he'd thought that it was likely that he interfered to save Kali rather than further interact with the Anti-Destiny Brigade. Now he didn't know what to think, and the missing memories, once a small annoyance, had turned into a major source of nagging puzzlement.

The easiest way to get answers, he figured, was to do some exploration of Sam's dreamscapes. He hadn't bothered to look around except for the first time he actually responded to the kid's calls, and that hadn't been very enlightening neither had it been pleasant. He had no idea why the hunter's psyche would place Gabriel in his bed when the archangel's Grace burned out. Gabriel shivered at the memory. It had been nearly a millennia since he'd watched an angel burn away.

Now that he knew where the Winchesters were staying (he'd had to follow the feel of Castiel's grace), he could track Sam's consciousness without waiting for the human to call him. It took a while for the kid's mind to switch over to sleep, though he seemed to waver on the edge of unconsciousness for some time.

 _Sam stood at the motel window, watching the Impala pull away. He sighed and looked down at his phone. He typed something in and not long after, dream-Gabriel snapped into the hotel room. The archangel ran a quick look up and down the hunter before snapping up a bag of Maple Nut Goodies. Sam's lips turned up in a small smile and he easily caught the bag when it was tossed at him._

 _"Big brother taking the night off?" Gabriel asked as he started chewing on a licorice twist._

 _"Something like that," Sam said. He looked out the window once more before letting the curtain drop back into place and heading for a bed. He sat on the edge and opened his bag of candy._

 _Gabriel plopped down on the other bed and promptly changed position to lay on his stomach and kick his feet in the air. "So what are you doing here, Sammy? If you're between cases, take a page from your brother and hit a bar. I'm sure there's some prime targets to hustle, chicks to woo – they tend to like tall, dark, and brooding even if your brother's charming the panties off the rest."_

 _Sam only looked mildly irritated as he ate his candy. "We're not exactly finished here, but..." He shrugged. "Well, these days Dean gets weird when we have to talk to priests."_

 _With a soft snort, Gabriel waved a hand in dismissal. He asked, "What's the case?"_

 _"Looks like a coven. Probably not a large group, and two members are already dead."_

 _"You're dealing with a coven and your brother decides to flake off into the night." Gabriel frowned. Sam looked away and didn't say anything._

 _For a few minutes they sat in silence. Suddenly Gabriel sat up and clapped his hands. "Alright, kiddo! Let's wrap this one and blow this popsicle stand!" he said with a grin._

 _"I was going to look over our information tonight, but we were heading out in the—"_

 _"Pssh. C'mon, get off your ass and let's go. We'll take care of this lickity-split. Wanna bet we get back before Deano?"_

 _Sam looked baffled. "Why are you—?"_

 _"Seriously? If you weren't expecting help, why'd you call me?" Gabriel smirked and didn't wait for a reply before snapping them away._

The dream blurred together with overlapping images. The completeness of the details in the dream suggested it was at least based on a real memory. Gabriel wondered _when_ it had taken place. The conversation had been smooth and friendly, a concept that jarred with his recollection of frustrated expressions as the hunters left him standing in a dampening ring of holy fire.

The soft-focus disappeared abruptly, and the new scene formed with crystal clear detail.

 _Sam stood in the smoldering remains of an open field. Over a hundred bodies of men, women, and children lay in the grass like discarded ragdolls. Dean lay crumpled at the base of a tree, unconscious and breathing. Lucifer stood at the crest of a small hill, looking down at Sam with a calm expression._

 _"Are you proud of yourself, Sam? What have you actually accomplished?"_

 _Sam's hands clenched and unclenched at his sides. "I stopped you. You're trapped, you can't hurt anyone anymore."_

 _A slow smile spread across Lucifer's face. "How many died because of you, Sam?" He waved his hand and several bodies appeared on the hillside. Lucifer walked among them but his gaze remained locked on Sam._

 _The human's gaze moved from one corpse to the next. Gabriel recognized about half of the bodies and could guess the identity of Mary and John Winchester. For some the cause of death was obvious. A blonde with a ripped torso, claw marks of a hellhound. Blistered flesh and sliced belly for Mary and another blonde. The older hunter's, Bobby's, neck had been snapped. Gabriel's vessel lay alongside the other corpses, eyes open but vacant; angel blade buried hilt-deep into its chest._

 _"What does your brother have left?" Lucifer's voice was silky smooth. He made his way closer to Sam and stroked his fingertips over the human's arm. "So much death, and you took away the last of your brother's comforts."_

 _The air seemed to come alive as ghostly images took form. The five figures moved as if ignorant of their surroundings. It quickly became clear that Lucifer had called upon some memory to play out. The hazy Sam, inhabited by Lucifer, reacted to Michael's banishment with a snap. Castiel's body exploded and the real Sam flinched. With a quick flick of the wrist Sam/Lucifer snapped Bobby's neck; the hunter crumpled to the ground._

 _Sam/Lucifer hauled Dean close and began to beat him. The older Winchester did little to protect himself and wouldn't fight back. The quickly blossoming bruises and crack of bones made even Gabriel wince._

 _Outside of the replay, Lucifer curled his fingers around Sam's bicep and leaned so close that their bodies nearly touched from head to toe. "His own brother left him bleeding and broken, alone. Tell me, Sam, who did you save?"_

 _Sam seemed unable to look away from the never-ending scene before him. Gabriel watched as the first tear slipped free from the human's shining eyes. "It's over," he said in a shaky voice._

 _Lucifer's expression darkened and it looked like his grip on Sam's arm tightened. "Not for you."_

Gabriel fled when the screams started.

*

It took a while to catch Castiel when the angel was on Earth but without the Winchesters.

"You're awful busy these days, bro," Gabriel said when he appeared next to Castiel in a grove of trees.

The younger angel turned to face him. "There is much to do. There is great conflict among our siblings and I fear Heaven may be facing another war." He fixed Gabriel with a pointed stare. "Your presence could be essential to keep us from falling into battle."

Gabriel scoffed. "Please, there's no one up there interested in seeing me again. Pretty sure there's more than a couple members of the family who'd happily deck me." He crossed his arms. "Not my scene. Think you guys can keep the argument upstairs this time?"

Castiel frowned, expression tight. "What do you want, Gabriel?"

It had taken much less time than Gabriel had expected for Castiel to demand a straight answer. As reluctant as he was to ask for help, he didn't want to press his luck by avoiding the issue and risk Castiel flying off to deal with his Heavenly business.

Stuffing his hands in his jacket pockets, Gabriel admitted, "So, funny thing. Since I've been back, things are kinda... fuzzy." He wrinkled his nose in distaste at how the explanation came out.

Castiel's eyes widened slightly but he said nothing for some time. Eventually his expression turned thoughtful. "Our Father is the only one to understand our creation," he mused. "Perhaps only He can return us to life."

Gabriel's hands fisted in his pockets as he struggled to control the wave of anger-hurt-jealousy that rushed through him. Once he had himself mostly under control he retorted, "Dandy theory you got there. Doesn't do much good for those of us who Dad didn't decide to give a second chance."

"Brother..." Gabriel's glare made the other fall silent for a few moments. "How did you return?"

"Old friend," he said. "She said I'd been dead a month."

Castiel surprisingly didn't ask for more information, perhaps sensing that Gabriel wasn't about to give further details.

After a few minutes, Gabriel interrupted the silence impatiently; "Well? Do you wanna fill me in?"

Castiel's gaze was calculating, expression calm despite Gabriel's irritated stare.

"Words alone will mean little," Castiel began. "It would be best to reacquaint yourself with the humans you befriended." There was a note of challenge in his voice.

Gabriel narrowed his eyes, torn between annoyance and amusement at Castiel's maneuvering. "Smug isn't quite your look, little bro." He snorted softly as his lips turned up in a reluctant grin. "Alright, I'll bite. What's in your conniving little brain? No trips upstairs, that's non-negotiable."

Castiel looked pleased with himself, an expression which Gabriel suspected was at least in part influenced by Dean Winchester. "We are searching for a militant faction of angels. They have warded themselves and I am unable to sense them. The Winchesters left South Dakota this morning, but it will take too long for them to check every possible lead. Crowley is researching with Bobby and using his contacts for further information. I ask for your assistance with tracking this group and ensuring they are no threat. In exchange, I will answer your questions and provide you with information of your lost time."

The arrangement could get complicated quickly. Considering who was involved, it was practically a guarantee that it _would_. Hardly a situation Gabriel cared to find himself in, but if he gathered information along the way, he could always back out if things got too hairy.

"Crowley teaching you bargaining skills?" Gabriel teased. "Just so we're clear, this is an ongoing flow of information. No holding out on details just to keep me playing along." Castiel nodded his agreement. Apparently that settled things.

Gabriel asked, "Why's the demon helping, anyways?"

"You will have to ask him." Castiel's gaze became distant and he turned away. "I must go. We will speak soon, Gabriel."

The archangel stood alone in the clearing a second later. "That didn't count as an answer!" he shouted.

*

Gabriel didn't answer right away when Castiel called. He waited until his brother started to sound annoyed. Castiel stood waiting in the same forest clearing as their last meeting.

"You rang?"

"Your assistance—"

"Ah!" Gabriel interrupted and wagged a finger at Castiel. "No go until you start paying up."

The other angel nodded. "Alright." He tilted his head as he stared silently at Gabriel for a few moments. "From your actions the other day, I assume your memories of the past year have been affected. What do you last clearly recall?"

Gabriel smirked. "I _recall_ a highly entertaining sitcom and recasting _Knight Rider_."

Castiel nodded slowly as he processed that. "Do you remember Dean and Sam's request to join us?"

That memory was a little more sour; Gabriel scowled. "I remember the warehouse," he admitted.

Another nod, then Castiel said, "A few weeks after that you found the Winchesters. I was told you proposed a 'trial run.' Dean was reluctant but Sam agreed."

Gabriel frowned. He supposed it made sense that he didn't commit to anything right away, but that he was the one to come up with the proposal didn't mesh with his thoughts from the warehouse.

"I do not know why you offered your help," Castiel said. Gabriel made a mental note that his brother seemed to have improved his ability to read facial expressions. "However," he continued, "in only a few weeks Dean admitted you'd become a part of Team Free Will." Gabriel rolled his eyes at the name.

"Just what I always wanted, approval from a Winchester."

Castiel's expression remained blank. When the archangel said nothing else, he stated, "We need to join Dean and Sam." He pulled a cellphone from his pocket and showed Gabriel a text message with an address. "They're staying here."

It was immediately obvious upon landing in the Winchester's motel room that the hunters hadn't known about Gabriel. Sam's eyes widened when his gaze landed on the archangel. Dean's surprise quickly morphed into irritation and suspicion. _Sure, I was part of the 'team,'_ Gabriel thought sarcastically.

Sam's quiet, "Cas?" was overridden by Dean's loud demand; "What are _you_ doing here?"

Before Gabriel could snap a reply, Castiel said, "Gabriel will be assisting us." In response to Dean's skeptical expression, he added, "We have an agreement. Trust me." Gabriel hid a snicker at how quickly the hunter caved after that last bit.

The younger Winchester still looked wary, although he didn't voice whatever his concerns might have been. When Gabriel tried to catch his gaze, Sam ducked his head and seemed to hunch in on himself. Castiel asked about the search's progress before Gabriel could call Sam on the odd behavior.

~

The search for the missing angels had started a few days before Gabriel was roped into it. Not a lot of progress had been made, as Dean was fond of bitching about. Although for once, the human's frustration ended up productive.

Much to everyone's surprise, Dean was the one to ask for Gabriel's input. "Okay, dude, where would you hide?" He waved his hand over the map that had marks covering several southwestern states.

Grudgingly admitting to himself that it was a legitimate question, Gabriel avoided a snarky response. He let his gaze roam over the map as he considered the options.

"Well I have ideas where _I_ would go," Gabriel said. "But I've always been better attuned to natural power reservoirs than others. I'd be looking for those spots to bolster any warding." He shrugged. "But I'd be setting up solo and the family doesn't tend to think like I do."

Dean looked like he wanted to comment on that, but he hesitated long enough that Castiel cut him off. "Your suggestions will be a worthwhile avenue of investigation."

"We can split the research," Sam said. He glanced at the others quickly, as if worried to meet anyone's gaze. "Someone works with Gabriel and the rest of us can look into other options. Bobby said Crowley would be checking back soon."

Castiel nodded his agreement. "Teams, huh?" Dean muttered thoughtfully.

 _Bingo!_ Gabriel grabbed at the opportunity to get more information. He raised his arm, waving it as he bounced on his toes. "Dibs on Sasquatch!"

The others looked at him with varying degrees of apprehension. Gabriel continued grinning. Dean looked sidelong at his brother, his expression concerned.

"What difference does it make?" Dean challenged, narrowed gaze returning to the archangel.

"Well I _could_ have called dibs on you, but that would involve you staring daggers at me the entire time and Castiel sulking jealously."

Dean opened his mouth for what was sure to be a scathing retort, but Sam placed a hand on Dean's arm and drew attention to himself. "Dean, it's fine." Gabriel arched an eyebrow at that, curious at the silent byplay that went on between the two brothers as they locked gazes.

Leaning in, Dean muttered, "You sure?" Sam nodded but his smile was clearly fake. Looking reluctant, Dean sighed and straightened up. "Yeah, okay."

Castiel had observed the scene with an intent stare; Gabriel wondered what had so captivated his brother's interest. Regardless, he'd gotten his way and would have the opportunity to tease some information out of the younger Winchester.

With the division of "teams," they set about assigning their research plan of action.

*

Since the local library had little to offer, Gabriel snapped himself and Sam to a nearby university. After muttering a quick thank you, Sam headed off into the stacks. Gabriel trailed after him at a leisurely pace. He decided to wait to pump the human for answers until they'd settled in somewhere. In the meantime, Gabriel would just observe.

In the spirit of cooperation (and in interest of getting to his questions faster), Gabriel helped pick out and carry potentially useful books and journals. As they made their way through the library, Gabriel noticed small group study rooms. By the time Sam showed signs of wrapping up the book search, the angel made sure a room was open; it would be most convenient to have the privacy. Sam didn't question their good luck.

Sam claimed the end of the table that let him face the door. As he spread the books out on the table, he asked, "So where do you think we should start?"

Gabriel pulled a bag of Skittles out of his pocket. "Your decision, kiddo." As he popped a mix of green and red candies into his mouth, he noticed Sam's slight wince at the nickname.

Sam pulled a couple books toward him and stared at the covers as he worried his lip between his teeth. "You have a better idea what a group of angels might look for."

With a shrug, Gabriel glanced over the pile of books and slid out two. "Fine, take a look through here. Confirmed worshipping sites will clue you in to most areas of interest. No guarantee this is the right direction." Gabriel poured a handful of Skittles onto the table and started sorting them by color. "But we'll see if there's some crossover with our brothers' research."

Sam's attention had already zeroed in on one of the books, but he did nod to confirm that he'd heard.

Gabriel leaned back in his chair, stretching out with his legs crossed at the ankles. He divided his attention between skimming through the pages of his book, systematically working his way through the Skittle rainbow, and watching Sam. The human looked far from relaxed with his hunched shoulders and legs bent close to the chair. Seemed like Sam was doing his best to avoid even coming close to brushing against Gabriel's "space."

Ten minutes passed before Sam started shooting poorly-hidden glances at Gabriel. The human shifted restlessly in his chair every couple of minutes, and a few times his lips parted as if to speak, but he always closed his mouth again.

When Gabriel finished the Skittles and noisily crumpled the empty bag, Sam finally spoke. "In the proposal for making Bryce Canyon a national park, they included the wording 'Temple of the Gods National Monument.' Are there any sites there we should look into?"

"Hmm." Gabriel snapped up a map of Utah along with a park guide. He studied the marked terrain as he thought. After a few moments he shrugged and answered, "Worth a look-see. Couple hours field trip, whaddya say?" He grinned and waggled his eyebrows. "Promise I'll show you a better time than our brothers' boring research."

Sam quickly ducked his head and muttered at his book, "Trip can wait, it'll better to have a list sorted first."

"Spoilsport," Gabriel pouted. Instead of returning to the research, he focused his full attention on the human.

"Knock it off."

Smirking a little, Gabriel asked, "What?"

Sam looked up and fixed the angel with a glare. "The staring, quit staring at me!" The frustration quickly faded to confusion. Looking less sure of himself, Sam said, "Wait. _Why_ are you staring at me?"

Gabriel propped his elbow on the table and dropped his chin into his palm as he continued to stare at Sam intently. "Well," he said, drawing the word out. The human twitched, as if barely holding in the urge to flinch away. "I'm _trying_ to figure out why you look like someone kicked your favorite puppy."

Sam looked away, expression uneasy. He rubbed at the back of his neck as he shifted in his seat. After a few false starts, Sam muttered, "I'm just... finding it a little hard to adjust, okay?"

Getting a straightforward answer hadn't been expected. Gabriel's attention turned to the little details of Sam's appearance: the crease of an almost constant frown, noticeable shadows beneath his eyes, and even worry lines that seemed to be on the way to becoming permanent. Gabriel recalled the dreams he'd observed and what little he'd seen of Sam's time in the Cage. Considering the state the kid's soul was probably in, it was a small miracle he looked as good as he did.

Well, Gabriel hadn't intended this to turn into a Winchester therapy session, he wanted answers for himself; but he had always been a little intrigued by this particular human. Besides, it wouldn't hurt to "give" a little in exchange for the "take."

"How long have you been back, kid?"

Sam looked confused for a long moment. Gabriel didn't know what else the human thought he could be talking about, but he could see understanding dawn on Sam's expression. "Oh. Uh..." He squinted his eyes as he apparently did some mental calculations. "A month... roughly." Sam picked at the fraying binding of his book. "It's a bit hard to, uh, keep track," he admitted quietly.

Expression hesitant, Sam met Gabriel's gaze and asked, "What about you?"

 _Pretty sure I'm supposed to be the one asking questions,_ Gabriel thought wryly; not that he saw any harm in answering. "Alive and kickin' for three months."

Sam noticeably paled, surprise and hurt quickly passing over his face before a neutral expression settled into place. Sam's gaze dropped to the books and he pulled a couple closer. "G-good. That's... great."

 _Okay, what the fuck is going on?_ Frustrated and sick of getting more questions than answers brought the archangel's sarcasm to the fore. "Wow, Sam. Your thrilling enthusiasm that one of your teammates came back from the dead is _overwhelming_. Please restrain yourself!"

Sam's stare remained fixed on the books in front of him and his bowed head made it hard to read his expression. "You didn't come back," he said faintly.

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Guess you just didn't make much of an impression on me."

A very distinct silence followed his retort. It took a moment for Gabriel to realize that Sam was holding his breath. Hell, the kid didn't even look like he was _moving_ , except for where his thumb rubbed a circle near his inner elbow. Gabriel tried, as he had several times before, to get a read on the human's mind, but it was like trying to pick up an incompatible frequency. He got only the vaguest flashes of emotions, though the gut-wrenching _hurt_ threw him for a loop.

This _really_ wasn't going anywhere he wanted. Restraining the urge to vent his frustration, Gabriel announced, "I'm going to check out Bryce and the surrounding area." He didn't wait to see if Sam responded. Mid-flight he did think to leave a bag of Maple Nut Goodies behind as a peace offering.

*

Gabriel didn't return to the university. When he found nothing promising around Bryce Canyon, he went his own way, interrupted only by a text message ( _Text message, really?_ ) from Castiel. It said to meet back with the group the following evening, preferably after doing some independent searching.

He highly doubted his brother had meant searching in terms of Gabriel wandering again in Sam's dreams, but Gabriel hoped it would contribute to the answers he sought and clear up some of the human's odd behavior.

 _The moment he stepped into the dream, Gabriel knew Sam was back in the Cage even though the hotel room he stood in matched the usual Winchester fare. He'd appeared in the midst of a fight between Lucifer and Sam. The human grappled ineffectively with the fallen archangel, pure emotional adrenaline fueling his attacks. Sam's knuckles were blooded and bruised though he moved as if he didn't notice._

 _"Why do you insist on fighting me, Sam?" Lucifer overpowered the human and threw him to the ground. The fallen angel wiped his hand over his mouth, smearing a trail of blood against his skin. He planted a foot on Sam's back to keep the human down. "Wasn't this what you wanted? Leave your broken, tainted world as it is, cast yourself as some sort of martyr?" he sneered._

 _When Sam failed to push himself up, he turned his attention to trying to reach back and dislodge Lucifer's foot. Gabriel cringed away when his brother swiftly caught one of Sam's arms and wretched it at a sharp angle. Sam's cry trailed off into a high-pitched whine. Lucifer let the limp arm drop back down and Sam panted harshly into the floor._

 _"How does it feel to be the 'abomination'? There's no one to raise you, no one who thinks you deserve it. Do you like being found unworthy when your brother was the golden boy?"_

 _Lucifer removed his foot and kicked Sam over onto his back. Sam bit off the scream of pain as his arm dragged with the movement. Lucifer crouched down over the human, narrowed stare intent. He braced himself with a hand over Sam's arm. His free hand lifted to slowly stroke his fingertips across the human's cheek._

 _"You're not quite ready," Lucifer murmured. His fingers continued to caress Sam's face. The human looked wary and resigned, and Gabriel had the sense that Sam knew what was coming. "Oh Sammy." Lucifer sighed and leaned close enough that their foreheads touched. "We could have been such a team. But..." The angel tilted his head, nose brushing against Sam's cheek. "Your blind allegiance got in the way."_

 _The hand on Sam's arm tightened and Lucifer pushed himself up into a crouch. His expression was cold but his eyes flickered with anger. "Let's see if I can change your mind." A sharp twist and Sam screamed as bone_ snapped _._

 _Gabriel tried to pull back, prepared to escape the dream and the sickening sounds of his brother taking apart the human piece by piece. Sam's whimpers and screams made his stomach twist and Gabriel just wanted_ out _. But then, for some reason, Sam called out_ his _name._

 _The human choked out the syllables of the archangel's name again and Gabriel just stared in confusion. Lucifer's eyes had narrowed as his focus turned to Sam's left arm. He seemed to have worked through every bone in the kid's hand before starting in on the forearm. Sam's shirt sleeve had been torn and Lucifer jabbed his nails into tender flesh before tearing long scratches through the skin._

 _"Please! Gabriel!" Sam sobbed as Lucifer seemed to literally dig his fingers into the inner arm._

 _Gabriel cursed and stepped forward, confused and angry and desperate to get rid of the damned noise that tore into him._

 _"Get out!" Gabriel focused a burst of energy at Lucifer, intent on dislodging the nightmare and getting both Sam and himself a little peace. It didn't quite work out that way._

 _The shove did knock Lucifer away, but the nightmare merely shifted. Sam still lay broken and bleeding on the floor. Lucifer stood, expression closed as he stared down at a body beside the human's; a body laying over the burnt impression of wings. Gabriel instinctively moved away from the sight of his dead vessel._

 _Sam's head turned to the empty vessel. His lips moved, but whatever he said came out too quiet for Gabriel to hear. For some inconceivable reason it seemed the kid was trying to reach out to touch the body. His movement drew Lucifer's attention._

 _"Filth," the fallen angel hissed, kicking at Sam's broken hand. The human's face scrunched up in pain. "Do not touch him again!"_

 _Gabriel told himself to man-up and squared his shoulders. He whistled sharply and amazingly captured the attention of the other angel. "You—"_

 _Gabriel didn't let his brother finish. Concentrating his power more precisely this time, Gabriel banished his brother's nightmare shadow. "Fuck off, bro," he muttered._

 _From the ground Sam stared at him with a look of confused disbelief. Gabriel slowly took a step forward and winced when the kid tried to flinch away._

 _"Shit, don't move," Gabriel admonished quietly. When he took another step Sam didn't move, but that was more likely because the first attempt had hurt too much rather than any trust he may have placed in Gabriel._

 _Pain-bleary eyes tracked Gabriel's movement as he knelt beside the human. "This might hurt, bucko," Gabriel warned. He placed a hand over Sam's sternum and concentrated on restoring the human's body. The pained whimper that escaped the human lacked the fear that had infused his cries at Lucifer's torture, but it still made something inside Gabriel cringe._

 _A few minutes passed before Gabriel withdrew his hand and stood up. He watched as the human carefully pushed himself into a sitting position. Sam flexed his fingers and stared at his hands with a look of confusion. He glanced up at Gabriel, baffled. "This didn't happen," he whispered._

 _Gabriel shoved his hands into his pants pockets and shrugged. "Well it did now."_

 _"But... it never changes." Sam shook his head, then his gaze seemed to catch on the empty vessel still laying nearby. His eyes widened and he reached out with a trembling hand to clasp the still wrist. "You were gone."_

 _Although this could be the perfect opportunity to get answers from the human, Gabriel felt strangely reluctant to take advantage of Sam's weakened emotional state._

 _"Yeah, well, we talked about that," Gabriel eventually replied._

 _Sam blinked up at the angel; his hand remained curled over the vessel's wrist. "Are you...?" His forehead wrinkled in confusion. "You left me candy. One of my favorites but... how did you know? You don't remem—" Sam's eyes suddenly widened and he looked a whole lot more alert. "Gabriel? What are you doing here?"_

 _Shit. Here was the problem with interfering, Gabriel had outted himself regarding his dream-walking. He tried to dismiss any suspicion with a trademark grin and created an explanation; "Heard you again and decided I'd kick around and get us both some peace and quiet. I'm starting to think that the gag idea is a viable option," he teased._

 _The human pushed himself to his feet. He glanced from the vessel to Gabriel and back again. "You... I'm sorry." He rubbed a hand over his face. "I'm trying not to... you know." Sam grimaced and glanced sidelong at the archangel. "You, uh, you can go now. And, um... thanks."_

 _Gabriel rolled his shoulders in an uncomfortable shrug. There was a strange tension here that made him uneasy and suspicious. "Who wouldn't get sick of seeing my brother all the time?" Gabriel prepared to snap himself away but hesitated. "These dreams should be letting up."_

 _Sam smiled wryly. "Yeah."_

 _There wasn't anything else to say, so Gabriel ignored the urge to stay and pushed himself out of the dream._

*

Gabriel didn't have a destination in mind when he left Sam's dreams. However he eventually found himself standing amongst broken cars and rusting scrap metal. The house lights were off but the moon shone brightly in the clear night sky, providing decent visibility even in the yard full of shadows.

The archangel could feel Crowley's presence inside the house and knew the demon would soon come out to investigate. He chose a car and hopped up onto the hood; he didn't have to wait long.

"Well, well, look who's come poking around. What are you doing here, angel?" Crowley stood a few feet away with his hands in his pockets.

"I should ask you the same thing," Gabriel replied. He looked the demon up and down as a grin slowly spread across his face. "Awful late to be here. Alone. With a _hunter_." Crowley snorted; his expression was hidden in shadow but Gabriel could guess he'd irritated the demon.

"Question remains, what're you here for?" Crowley cocked his head to the side as he waited for a reply.

Even though he hadn't made a conscious decision to come here, Gabriel figured he might as well make the most of having some time with the demon.

"Didn't expect you to be in on this little campaign," Gabriel remarked. He scooted back on the hood to lean against the windshield. "So tell me, what turned that little black heart of yours toward Team Free Will?"

Crowley chuckled. "Well isn't that the pot calling the kettle black."

Gabriel made a face. "Hardly my first choice to join up." He sighed dramatically, "But Castiel's learned to bargain."

"Ahh," Crowley drew the sound out with a knowing tone. "Your participation in trade for filling in those pesky memory gaps. So you've come to pick my brain, have you?"

There was no point denying it so Gabriel shrugged. "Simple question of how you fit into all this." He moved to the edge of the hood again and leaned forward as he kicked his legs against the fender.

Crowley hummed thoughtfully as he casually walked closer. His gaze scanned the archangel before focusing on his face. "A little bird dropped in on me with a suggestion. His unusual... earnestness intrigued me. Turned out that interest in self-preservation aligned with the fools' task."

Perplexed, Gabriel said, " _I_ convinced you?"

The demon snorted. "You _suggested_ , don't take all the credit."

 _Why would I care?_ Gabriel shook his head in confusion. "That doesn’t make sense. Why would I try recruiting you? I was fine doing my own thing."

"You're assuming that you explained yourself." Crowley chuckled. "What would I care of your reasons?"

"Oh I know I'd have to pander to your self-interest, Crowley. I also know you'd poke and prod 'til you had a satisfactory grasp of the situation." Gabriel leaned forward. "So get talking before I get smite-y."

With a shrug, Crowley said, "We're not so different, Trickster. Without humans, who do you have to play with? Who do I have to bargain their souls? You said the world wouldn't be much fun once your brother got his greedy hands on it." Crowley arched his eyebrow. "I was inclined to agree."

"That isn't all," Gabriel accused. The demon smirked and turned his gaze to the night sky. Gabriel glowered at Crowley; perhaps he shouldn't have expected straight answers from the demon, but that didn't mean he accepted getting the run-around from yet another person who could give him answers.

Apropos of nothing, Crowley asked, "The moose still having nightmares?"

Gabriel huffed an irritated sigh. "Moose? He says he's been back for a month, but still he's hollering at me." He reconsidered his wording. "Not at, _for_ me. What's that about?" he complained.

"Complicated business dragging a single human soul out of a Cage strong enough to keep the Devil in." Crowley's voice had lost its amusement.

"Yeah, I'd think so, but I didn't pull him out. What's he crying to me for?"

It was a subtle shift, but Gabriel caught the brief frown that passed over Crowley's expression. The demon replied, "Might not've, but let's say you played a part."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Gabriel rolled his eyes. "What, first I 'suggest' you join the rabble-rousers and then I put you up to the task of making sure the Winchesters survive?" he asked incredulously.

Crowley's expression regained its familiar smugness when he turned his gaze back to the archangel. "Real enigma, isn't it. Do share when you figure it out." Crowley brushed at his jacket sleeves. "Now, I have someone to see to." He turned towards the house and started walking. A few feet away he glanced over his shoulder. "Don't you?"

Few options for who Crowley meant, but Gabriel had no plans to wander around Sam's mind again anytime soon. " _Real_ helpful. Always enjoy talking with you, you dick!" Gabriel shouted after the demon. "Have good sex now!"

Crowley didn't even slow down as he gave Gabriel the two-finger salute.

"Screw you, too," the angel grumbled.

*

Gabriel popped himself onto the counter in the Winchester's motel room. With a snap, a bag of popcorn started to cook in the microwave. "Let's get this party started."

Castiel, standing by the table, simply blinked in response. Sitting nearby, Dean crossed his arms and glared at the archangel. Sam seemed to have set up camp on the threadbare couch. Gabriel caught the human's eye for a moment and felt disconcerted at the level of sorrow he saw there. Sam looked away quickly and bent over the papers spread around him.

"We have located the hiding place," Castiel said when no other reaction seemed forthcoming.

The microwave beeped. Gabriel snapped up a bowl and transferred the popcorn. "Oh?" he prompted.

"All signs indicate a place called Widtsoe," Castiel said.

Gabriel arched an eyebrow in silent question as he munched on his popcorn.

"A ghost town in Utah," Dean clarified. "Near Bryce Canyon, so that's probably their real interest."

"What?" Gabriel dropped his handful of popcorn back into the bowl. Scowling, he countered, "I went over the area already. Nothing's there!"

Dean smirked. "Seems you overlooked a few things."

"What genius came to that conclusion?" Gabriel demanded after directing an irritated glare at the smug human.

"Our combined findings led to the same conclusion," Castiel said, frowning slightly. "When I went to investigate, I encountered a barrier where the town should have been."

"So we're leaving in the morning," Dean continued. He glanced over his shoulder at Castiel. "Are we done here?" At the angel's nod, Dean turned to Sam. "Hey, you wanna go grab us some dinner?"

Sam shrugged, but Gabriel thought he looked a little grateful. "Yeah. There was a place down the road, want me to see if I can get it to-go?"

Dean's eyes lit up, "With the bakery sign? Yeah!" He tossed his keys to Sam. "Get something for breakfast too."

"Sure." Sam pulled on his jacket as he headed for the door. It seemed to Gabriel that the human had to make a concentrated effort to avoid looking at him.

As soon as the door shut, Dean turned around to face Castiel and they seemed to exchange a silent conversation. After a few moments the angel gave a small nod. He glanced at Gabriel before disappearing.

 _This should prove interesting,_ Gabriel thought. He hopped off the counter and crossed his arms. "So, how did I manage to deserve the sole attention of the great Dean Winchester?"

Dean appeared to barely be restraining his anger as he glowered at the archangel. "What the hell is your problem?"

Gabriel's eyes narrowed. "I am not the one with the problem here, Winchester."

"Why are you here?" Dean demanded. "Seems to me you're doing jack shit to help. Sammy's got enough to deal with without you messing around with his head!"

Tired of the accusations, Gabriel snapped, "Not my fault your brother's fucked in the head."

Dean's face turned red as fury radiated from his entire tensed body. "You... you _son of a bitch!_ If your fucking family wasn't so sadistic and set on torture and dicking around with people's minds, Sam wouldn't be having issues! Maybe it wasn't _just_ you, but you sure as hell share the blame."

Gabriel didn't know why he was letting the human get away with shouting at him. He could easily banish Dean somewhere inhospitable, or change him into something disgusting, or even just take away his voice. Instead Gabriel let the hunter rant and with every passing moment his own irritation rose.

"You should have stayed away. You should be helping him but you're just making it worse. I _knew_ you'd end up hurting him. Shit, you should have stayed dead!"

"So Castiel and you Winchesters are the only ones allowed to come back from the dead?" Gabriel laughed without humor. "Doesn't it make you mad that Castiel's the only one getting Dad's preferential treatment? Apparently stopping the Apocalypse and sealing the Devil back in his box didn't warrant your brother's resurrection. Newsflash, Winchester: Daddy didn't see fit to raise me up, either. Hard to believe someone cared enough to bother with me when my 'teammates' didn't, huh?"

"As far as we knew, dead angel means millions of tiny bits only God can put back together. If you knew different, you should've put it in your little goodbye video. We were a little busy, what with collecting the Horsemen's rings and focusing on the plan _you_ suggested!"

The words caught Gabriel off-guard. "What video?"

"Forget it!" Dean snapped. The anger didn't really seem to go away, but his shoulders slumped as he muttered, "You already have."

The hunter shook his head and returned to glaring. "Get out of here. We don't need your help."

Gabriel retorted, "I'm not here for you."

"Fine!" Dean jerked his hand in a dismissive gesture. "Help Cas but stay the hell away from me and my brother."

"My pleasure!" Gabriel sneered.

*

Gabriel landed on a stretch of empty beach overlooking the sunset. He bypassed sight-seeing and called, "Castiel! Get your ass down here!"

"Yes?" Gabriel whirled around to find Castiel standing behind him.

"Following me?" Gabriel asked, suspicious at his brother's instantaneous arrival.

Castiel gave a small shrug. "I suspected you would wish to talk."

"That's one way to put it," Gabriel agreed. "You listen in at the hotel?" Castiel shook his head. _Figures,_ Gabriel thought. "Winchester mentioned a video. What gives?"

Blank-faced, Castiel explained, "Prior your death at Lucifer's hand, you recorded a message and gave it to the Winchesters. Your message included a way to defeat Lucifer when the option to kill him was no longer available. We collected the Horsemen's rings to open the cage."

Gabriel barely resisted the urge to sigh. "I offered the last hope to the hopeless?" He scrubbed a hand across his face; he felt pretty sure he was developing a headache. He was tired of the constant one step forward and two back. "I don't get it, bro. How did I get that committed to your little trio?"

Castiel remained silent for some time, his gaze seeming to study any minute movement Gabriel might make.

Around the time Gabriel prepared to demand answers, Castiel spoke. "It was not a trio. You were part of the team, brother." Castiel's eyes held a hint of sadness as he continued, "Your assistance and friendship were greatly appreciated. It was clear that you and Sam formed a strong connection."

Gabriel tensed at the memory of the youngest Winchester calling for him. "He's almost always screaming."

Castiel turned his head away, ostensibly to stare at the setting sun. It was difficult to read his expression. "I can only imagine the tortures he suffered at our brother's hands."

Castiel might imagine, but Gabriel had been privy to several scenarios that he knew to be more memory than nightmare.

"Deano thinks I should fix him," Gabriel said.

The younger angel dropped his gaze to the beach. "I don't believe you can," he replied quietly.

*

That night Gabriel could tell that Sam tried to keep his cries from reaching the angel. Eventually the attempt to muffle the shouts failed. Gabriel flew across the globe to lose himself in the busy, noisy streets of Hong Kong. The outside din wasn't enough to drown out the screams still echoing inside his head.

*

Gabriel remained invisible to human eyes when he landed with Castiel outside the boundary of Widtsoe, Utah. The Winchesters had parked on the old overgrown road and busied themselves sorting through supplies in the trunk. Dean's gaze darted around before settling on Castiel, and Gabriel knew he had been checking for the archangel's presence.

"Hey, Cas," Dean greeted. "We didn't want to wait for full dark," he said, referring to the slowly changing colors of the early evening sky. "Don't need to go stumbling around and it's not like you guys have an issue with night vision."

"These are for you." Castiel held out two angel blades, expression solemn. Gabriel grimaced at the thought of striking down members of his family, but he recognized the likelihood of that outcome.

"Bobby said as soon as we break the central seal you should be able to breach the barriers," Sam said as he tucked the blade into his belt.

"Gabriel and I will be inside as soon as we feel the wards weaken," Castiel assured. "Concentrate on remaining hidden and breaking the seal. I am uncertain of their exact number, but there are at least four angels within their group."

Dean offered a cocky grin. "No problem. Those dicks won't know what hit 'em, right Sammy?"

Sam rolled his eyes but he smiled as well. He lifted two jugs from the trunk and handed one to his brother. Addressing Castiel, he said, "We'll try to trap who we can just in case we run into trouble."

"We will follow as soon as we can," Castiel promised. Dean nodded and turned away. Sam looked at the angel curiously for a moment and then ran his gaze over the surrounding area; his gaze passed right over Gabriel.

"Come on, Sammy!"

A couple dozen yards away the hunters seemed to disappear as they crossed through the barrier. Gabriel dropped the invisibility and walked up to Castiel's side. "You don't really think they're making it in there unnoticed," he scoffed.

Castiel frowned. "I plan to be ready to come to their aid as soon as possible." His blade slipped from the trench coat sleeve and into his hand.

With a sigh, Gabriel stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets and settled in to wait. The sky darkened with the onset of night and gathering storm clouds. Several minutes passed in silence.

"I'll only kill them as a last resort," Gabriel finally warned.

"It is just as distasteful to me, brother," Castiel returned quietly. He glanced sidelong at Gabriel. "But I will do what I must to protect my friends."

A few more minutes passed before Gabriel once again broke the silence. "Did I kill any of our siblings?" The _before I died_ was understood.

This time Castiel turned to answer. "No, not to my knowledge. But I believe you were prepared to kill Lucifer to end his threat."

The idea nauseated Gabriel, even after having seen only a portion of the torture Sam suffered. Long ago Gabriel had been close to his older brothers and as much as he hated what Lucifer became, it was impossible to conceive how he could eventually resign himself to killing his brother.

"The plan to trap him worked, Gabriel," Castiel said.

The archangel looked the younger angel over carefully; he observed, "You think it would've been better to kill him."

Castiel didn't avert his gaze but he looked saddened. "I believe our brother's death would have spared our friends from great suffering."

"They're not my friends, Castiel," Gabriel reminded. He knew they should be. As he focused on the missing time and his questions, he'd begun to feel the missing pieces of himself. Not mere memory gaps, but literal _empty spaces_ in his Grace – what made him whole. He knew he wasn't the same, couldn't be no matter how detailed an explanation others might provide him.

"They could be again."

Gabriel dismissed anything further with a wave of his hand. Knowing it would distract Castiel, he pointed out, "It's been awhile, I think they ran into some trouble."

Castiel nodded tightly, expression grim. "We must be prepared."

Gabriel watched the lightning sketching across the sky in the distance. Another ten minutes passed.

The instant the air shimmered from the failing barrier, Castiel flew off with Gabriel rushing after him. They landed next to a dilapidated barn where Dean was somehow managing to dodge the attacks of two angels. Castiel immediately stepped into the fray. Gabriel took the time to look around. A couple yards away a female vessel lay crumpled on the ground over the shadowy impressions of wings. Closer to the barn a very unhappy male was caught in a ring of fire. Gabriel hadn't spotted the younger Winchester yet.

Two bright bursts of light in succession indicated Castiel had killed the angels attacking Dean. Gabriel swallowed back the sour taste rising in his throat and turned away from the scene.

"Later, Cas!" Dean limped into view, heading for the barn. "Damn it, _do_ something! There's two more of these assholes in there!"

"Oh hell," Gabriel muttered. He popped ahead and found another dead vessel next to the marred lines of the warding seal.

No sign of Sam or the remaining angel, though. Gabriel reached out and sensed the other angel hadn't gone far; following the feeling led him to a half-collapsed farmhouse. The angel inhabiting a severe-looking female vessel had Sam pinned to the wall as high as her arms could stretch. The hunter already sported some nasty bruises and the way his arm hung limply didn't bode well.

"Hey bitch!" Gabriel allowed the other angel time to turn her head before he flung her across the room. He barely made it in time to keep Sam from crashing to the floor. "Sorry, bucko. Just chill here for our brothers, 'kay?" Sam grunted in response as Gabriel turned away.

The angel had regained her feet and she charged at Gabriel, blade up. Gabriel waited until she came within striking distance to disappear and materialize behind her. "Oh, kid, you have no idea who you're messing with." He yanked her arms behind her back and twisted the blade out of her hand. She struggled in his grip, putting up enough of a fight that he had to be careful not to let her slip away.

"You defend these mortals? You're with that fool Castiel!"

"Yeah, pathetic that he seems to be the levelheaded one, isn't it?" Gabriel jerked her arms up a little higher. "Seriously, kid, settle down." Fed up, he let his Grace flare just enough to identify himself and was pleased when she suddenly stopped struggling.

Eyes wide, she turned her head to look at him. "Gabriel?"

"I think you're headed for a time-out."

Castiel appeared with Dean in the middle of the room. The hunter went immediately to his brother. Castiel moved forward to address the archangel. "I must see to their secure transfer." He tilted his head toward the humans. "Will you see them safely to a place to rest?"

With a roll of his eyes, Gabriel passed the angel over to Castiel's custody. "Right, babysitting, check! Try not to lose her. Oh, and you might want to see to our fire-buddy out there with the storm coming in."

"I will have assistance," Castiel replied. He arched an eyebrow meaningfully.

Gabriel muttered a reluctant "thank you" for giving him time to clear out before more angels arrived. He walked over to the hunters. "C'mon boys." With a snap, he transported the three of them back to the Impala.

"Fuck," Dean hissed as he slumped against the car. He glared at Gabriel. "Little warning, asshole."

Wiggling his fingers, Gabriel asked, "Do you want to try driving your baby with a bum leg or would you like a little pick-me-up?"

Sam's groan seemed to deflate whatever retort Dean had been preparing to give. With a tight frown, the older Winchester said, "Fine, but just enough to travel. Don't need your grimy paws on us longer than necessary."

"You wish," Gabriel retorted. He stepped forward and flicked Dean in the forehead. He ignored the hunter's annoyed "ow!" and placed his hand on Dean's shoulder. Gabriel prompted the human's body to heal broken bones and realign dislocated joints. He patted Dean's cheek when he was done, smirking at the glower he got in return.

"Your turn, Sasquatch." Gabriel squatted next to the dazed-looking hunter and decided to extend a bit of healing to sort out the concussion. He felt awkward as he patted the hunter on the head and pulled away.

Dean helped his brother up. He glanced over at Gabriel suspiciously. "Don't you have someplace to be?"

The hunter was right. Technically he'd fulfilled the deal he'd made with Castiel. Even so... "What sort of babysitter would I be if I sent you off into the dark and stormy night?" He had perfect timing – lightning lit up the sky and a deep roll of thunder followed. The first drops of rain started falling and Gabriel popped himself into the Impala.

Dean grumbled as he opened the door and slid behind the wheel. "Seriously?"

Sam got in on the other side and seemed to hunch in on himself. Gabriel kept a close eye on the hunter, wondering if he'd missed something in the quick-fix healing. The next roll of thunder made Sam wince and Gabriel relaxed, even though he found it strange that the hunter seemed to have developed a fear of storms.

"Spill anything in here and I'll kill you," Dean promised as he turned the key in the ignition. "Don't fuck with the stereo."

"Driver picks the music," Sam muttered, followed by a small chuckle.

"Damn straight."

Gabriel rolled his eyes and sat back for the ride. He told himself that he'd see that the Winchesters got checked into at least a semi-decent motel before flying off to find Castiel for details of the wrap-up.

~

When Dean came out of the office with room keys, he looked irritated to see Gabriel still sitting in the car with Sam and the hunters' bags. Despite the unhappy expression, Dean didn't comment as he got back in the car and drove across the lot. The rain was coming down hard and without a handy mojo'd umbrella effect, Gabriel would have been as wet as the two humans.

"Some help you are," Dean muttered as Gabriel pushed ahead into the room. "Yeah. Make yourself comfortable."

Sam eyed them both warily before dropping his bag on one of the beds and heading into the bathroom. Dean frowned at the closed door.

Gabriel dropped into a chair and tilted back so that he could prop his feet on the table. That recaptured Dean's attention.

"Dude, shove off. Whatever Cas had you promise, I'm sure it's done."

"What, you really want to keep that shiny black eye?" Gabriel indicated his own eye. "Your brother looks a little worse for wear, too."

Dean frowned tightly. "We've been doing this for years, thanks for the concern. We're _fine_."

"Very macho—" Gabriel cut himself off when harsh coughing echoed from the bathroom.

"Sam?" Dean called. A decidedly wet-sounding cough sent the hunter running to the bathroom door. "Sammy?" Gabriel followed right behind, an unfamiliar feeling of concern tugging at him.

Sam sat slumped on the bathroom floor, leaning awkwardly against the sink pedestal as he alternatively coughed and gasped for breath. He'd taken off his jacket and outer shirt. After he let loose another wet-sounding cough, he moved his hand away from his mouth, revealing drops of blood on his lips and chin.

"Jesus, Sammy!"

Gabriel easily slipped past Dean and knelt next to the younger Winchester. "Not gonna hurt, promise," Gabriel said as he placed his hand over Sam's sternum. He concentrated on making sure he dealt with the full extent of the hunter's injuries this time.

"Shit, they did a real number on you," Gabriel muttered. He carefully double-checked that the internal injuries had stopped hemorrhaging and healed over before he pulled back. "Why the hell didn't you say anything earlier?"

When he looked up to meet the hunter's gaze, he was confused by the haunted expression looking back at him. Gabriel glanced up at the older Winchester and found a similar expression. A quick skim of Dean's thoughts gave him the impression of _Zachariah, hemorrhaging tumors, Gabriel rushing over to Sam, something there_.

Caught up in a sense of déjà vu not his own, it took a minute to realize Sam had pulled himself to his feet and was pushing past his brother.

"Sam?" Dean's hand lifted halfway to his brother's arm, but at the shake of Sam's head, he let it drop.

Gabriel stood up and watched in confusion as Sam strode across the room, barely hesitating to open the door. It didn't look like Dean was eager to follow, but Gabriel almost felt compelled to go after him.

The rain had let up just enough that it was possible to see more than two feet in front of his face. Sam seemed not to care about the weather. Gabriel hurried to catch up with the hunter's long strides across the parking lot as the rain soaked them both; he'd forgotten to snap up an umbrella before stepping outside and there was little point now.

Abruptly Sam came to a halt and whirled around. He held his arms out at his sides as he pinned Gabriel with an anguished stare.

Gabriel came to a stop so fast he rocked forward from the momentum.

"I can't keep doing this!"

The archangel didn't have a response to the half-shouted admission.

Sam pressed his palms over his eyes and exhaled shakily. "I just... I want you back. _All_ of you." He let loose a shaky, unhappy chuckle and slowly lowered his hands. "I..." A half-choked sob escaped and Sam scrubbed a hand over his mouth. "I _can't_ keep looking at you when you don't really see me."

He didn't know what he would say, but Gabriel felt he needed to say _something_ before the hunter came fully undone. He could practically see Sam unraveling in front of his eyes. "I—"

"You don't remember," Sam interrupted. He looked exhausted as he spread his arms again in surrender. "I don't even think you can."

His shrug caught Gabriel's attention when he realized the dark mark near Sam's inner elbow wasn't simply a shadow. He peered at it, trying to make sense of the tattoo's dark lines. Had he been human, he wouldn't have been able to make it out. As it was, Gabriel turned his stunned gaze up to the hunter's miserable expression.

"That's..." Gabriel trailed off and looked again at the tattoo of his sigil. Unbidden memories came to him: Sam rubbing at his arm when they were working at the library; flesh tearing under Lucifer's fingers; the desperate, broken _"I can't keep doing this. Please, go away"_ echoed in his memory.

Sam slowly extended his arm and Gabriel met his pleading stare. "Take it back. _Please_ just take it back."

Overwhelmed, Gabriel just shook his head. He couldn't take back what he never gave.

Castiel was right. Gabriel couldn't fix this.

He took a step back, murmuring apologetically, "I can't." He flew away before he could see the last of Sam's control break.

*

Gabriel didn't pay much attention to his flight; he didn't go far, judging by the storm still raging around him. His only intent had been to retreat and not be the focus of that agonized stare.

"Well, this puts a new spin on things," he muttered to himself. It certainly explained the elder Winchester's almost rabid protective streak and the shell-shocked expression on Sam's face when the archangel first showed up.

None of the reactions or the explanations he'd been able to get answered _how_ he'd gotten into a relationship. A relationship that had apparently been serious enough for him to place an obvious claim on his lover's arm.

Gabriel tilted his head back and let the rain wash over his face. Last he remembered, he'd been enjoying another round of mind games with the Winchesters while dodging identification by Castiel. When that had failed, he was left in a ring of fire staring at expressions of disappointment and frustration. The best he could have said then, and he wouldn't have admitted it to anyone else, was that he had grudging respect for the Winchesters. Their tenacity plus overall track record was admirable. But that was a long way from friendship, let alone a relationship.

What the hell happened? The empty spaces he'd been trying so hard to ignore felt impossibly large now, like gaping wounds left untreated.

*

Only a few clouds drifted across the night sky over Sioux Falls and lights glowed in a downstairs windows of the house. Crowley appeared within a minute of Gabriel's arrival.

"How did the..." the demon trailed off as he looked the angel over. "You look like a drowned rat."

Gabriel hadn't thought about cleaning up. With a snap, he'd dried off and a quick run of his hand over his hair left him feeling a little more like himself.

"You _knew_ , you bastard!" Gabriel growled.

Crowley's face scrunched up in confusion. "I know a lot of things. What are we talking about?"

"Sam Winchester."

"Ah." Crowley's expression cleared and he rocked back on his heels. "I suspected as much. Rather obvious later on with all that yelling your name." He tilted his head thoughtfully. "Well, that and a certain signature on his arm."

"You could have warned me!" Gabriel snapped.

"Hello, have we met?" Crowley rolled his eyes and pointed at himself; "Demon."

That didn't explain why Castiel hadn't seen fit to mention it, but Gabriel didn't feel inclined to track his brother down and demand answers. Restraining a sigh, he asked, "How long?"

Crowley shrugged. "Never said, but you came to me a few months before the moose jumped into the Cage. Knew something was up, so I suspect you two had been at it for a while."

Gabriel frowned at the lack of any real information. In the end he supposed a timeline for events he couldn't remember didn't much matter. He asked, "How did the kid come back? Or are you sticking around here waiting for a deal to come due?"

"Plenty of reasons to stick around," Crowley dismissed. "No deals. A mutual friend of ours pitched in. You of course remember Kali."

Startled, Gabriel said, "Kali? She brought me back... She agreed to go after Sam and didn't mention anything?"

Crowley frowned. He muttered to himself, "She brought you back. Hindu goddess, Judeo-Christian angel... would explain the memory gap." Louder, Crowley answered, "No, she didn't say a thing about you flitting about with amnesia."

"Why the hell...?"

"If you plan on calling her, count me out." Crowley raised his hands. "Last we talked, there was the distinct impression of 'don't call me, I'll kill you'."

Gabriel sighed. He agreed with the demon's caution, and in truth he doubted Kali could offer any help in fixing whatever had gone wrong. As a matter of pride she would have found him to set things right if she could have.

Apparently Crowley sensed his agreement. The demon asked, "What do you plan to do now?"

Gabriel rubbed a hand over his face and chuckled softly. "That's the million dollar question."

After a few moments of silence, Crowley offered quietly, "Good luck."

*

He'd been waiting for Castiel's return from Heaven, so he was immediately aware when his brother returned to Earth sometime past midnight. Gabriel took the time to carefully craft a barrier to keep himself hidden. It was hard to judge how astute Castiel had become with his new angel-mojo, but Gabriel hoped even his brother wouldn't be able to sense him.

Gabriel arrived in the same motel room Sam had run out of hours earlier. Neither bed looked slept-in although Sam sat against the headboard of one with his eyes fixated on his laptop screen. Castiel sat in a chair at the table with Dean. All three looked exhausted.

"How did it go?" Dean asked, leaning his elbows on the table.

"It could have gone better," Castiel deadpanned.

Snorting softly, Dean asked, "That good, huh?" He chuckled a little at Castiel's wry smile.

"There are numerous concerns, not the least of which revolves around how to handle other fracturing groups." Castiel looked down at his loosely clasped hands. "The deaths of our brethren have made some angry and it does not reflect well on your involvement."

"Anything we need to worry about?" Dean asked grimly.

Castiel shook his head. "There is distrust, but I haven't sensed any direct hostility. You are still hidden from angelic sight, if it does become a concern." Dean nodded but didn't look fully convinced. Castiel glanced at Sam before he continued, "News is quickly spreading that Gabriel is alive."

 _Damn it,_ Gabriel thought, not that he should be surprised. He knew what it meant when he identified himself back at the farmhouse, but the full import was only now starting to sink in. _Just a little distracted by other things._

"So what does that mean?"

"For now, most think it to be mere rumor," Castiel replied. "I will not confirm his existence without my brother's permission." He sighed and Gabriel noted how human his brother looked when in the Winchesters' presence. "I am worried about Heaven's future. I fear that unification is elusive without a leader we can all trust. We do not share a common purpose."

A couple minutes passed; unexpectedly it was Dean who looked thoughtful while Sam appeared unfocused.

"Cas... say you found God. Would that help or just screw things even worse?" Everyone looked at Dean in surprise. "I mean, we derailed the smack-down of the millennia, stopped the frigging Apocalypse. The least He could do is manage some housekeeping, right?"

Castiel tilted his head. "When we last spoke of God I recall you making threats."

Dean looked a little embarrassed as he rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. "Yeah, well... Sammy's here now. And He did bring you back... Maybe you were right and He did some stuff we don't know about." He shrugged. "It doesn't really matter what I believe, Cas, _you_ do. A lot of angels up there do, too."

Castiel nodded, obviously considering Dean's suggestion. Finally he said, "I would... very much like to speak with my Father. I hope He would provide us guidance."

For the first time since Gabriel's silent arrival, Sam joined the conversation. "Would the amulet help you again?"

Both Castiel and Dean looked surprised. "Didn't I—?"

Sam smiled crookedly as he stood up and moved to his bag. "Yeah, I grabbed it before leaving." He dug something out of the duffle and turned to the table. Castiel held out his hand and Sam let a necklace fall into the palm.

"Thank you, Sam," Castiel said quietly. Sam tried to shrug it off.

The mood shifted as Castiel looked around the room, finally seeming to pay attention to the here-and-now. "What happened to Gabriel?"

Dean looked at Sam wearily as the taller hunter seemed to withdraw into himself. Castiel's gaze became more intent as he looked around, expression searching. Gabriel had the sense that he wouldn't be hidden from his brother for much longer. He'd heard what he'd wanted to about the situation in Heaven, it was time to go.

*

Gabriel spent the next several days traveling through Europe and doling out karmic justice. He threw himself into the tasks, determined to get back into the flow of what had been his routine for hundreds of years. He did his best to put thoughts of the averted Apocalypse, his not-so-estranged brother, and complicated human relationships out of his mind. Most of the time he had reasonable success. He could go hours at a time focusing on corrupt politicians, abusive spouses, and schoolyard bullies. But nothing he did could fully block the continuing calls from Sam Winchester.

Surprisingly it seemed that the hunter had managed to control his screams, but Gabriel could hear the whimpered pleas. Sometimes it wasn't verbal shouts, instead a sense of longing tugged insistently for the archangel's attention.

After a few days of ignoring Sam to the best of his ability, Gabriel caved and slipped into the hunter's dreams. Thankfully Lucifer was nowhere in sight and the atmosphere lacked the heaviness of a nightmare.

 _Sam lay on his side, curled around the dream-Gabriel propped up by pillows on the bed. Despite the position, the hunter was obviously tense and awake, his gaze fixed blankly on the motel's hideous wallpaper. Gabriel's fingers stroked through Sam's hair at a lazy pace as they lay there quietly. The occasional sound of a passing car or people chattering drifted in from outside._

 _"How was the drive?" Gabriel asked eventually._

 _Sam snorted softly and turned his face closer to the angel's chest. "Dean shouldn't be allowed to bitch about my 'moodiness' ever." Gabriel chuckled and moved his free arm to rest over the one Sam had wrapped around his waist. "How's Cas doing?"_

 _A sigh escaped Gabriel. "Seems like Deano might've rubbed off on him in the moodiness arena."_

 _Silence followed as Sam and Gabriel shifted until they were more or less facing each other with their limbs entangled. Sam's eyes closed, and he leaned his forehead against the angel's._

 _"I'm losing them," Sam whispered. His arms tightened around the angel and Gabriel responded in kind._

 _"Then we gotta knock some sense into them," Gabriel replied. He tilted his head, leaving a trail of kisses along the human's jaw and neck. "You can out-stubborn the best of 'em, Sammy, you won't let those two wander off."_

 _"Gabriel..." Sam sounded like he meant to protest, but he trailed off. He leaned into the touches of the angel's lips and fingers._

 _"Let go, Sam," Gabriel murmured against the human's cheek. He kissed away the worried-sounding whimper. "I'm right here with you, kiddo."_

Gabriel fled the dreamscape, having found the affection almost harder to observe than Lucifer's tortures. The intimacy wasn't familiar, but the scene still tugged at him because he knew it _should_ be.

He tilted his head back and laughed mirthlessly at the night sky. "What is this? What makes us so unworthy? Apparently I joined the underdog team, just like little brother Castiel, but I still didn't make it onto your to-do list. That human found a way to stop Lucifer and Michael without killing them and even _he_ was left to burn.

"So what is it, Dad? How come the only one who cared enough to bring me back was an ex who felt she owed me for saving her ass? So maybe I'm back wrong, at least she fucking tried! Do you even care anymore? You can't punish me for running, you ran too!"

Gabriel's fists unclenched and the sigh that tore past his lips banished the worst of his anger. In its wake he felt tired and vulnerable with the swirling emotions of frustration, hurt, and sympathy. "So maybe I messed up and you haven't been in the forgiving mood, whatever. But what about the kid? Sam Winchester saved your precious world, Dad. He dragged Lucifer back into timeout before everything could be wiped out. So why's his soul always screaming? He's going to rip apart, Dad. He keeps on grasping for something. Shit, he's trying to reach _me_ isn't he? But I can't— I don't know _how_ and it's all just empty."

The gentle, "Hello, Gabriel" startled the archangel. He whirled around and stared wide-eyed at the Prophet Chuck.

But it wasn't just the Prophet standing before him, though Gabriel could sense the human's soul resting peacefully within the vessel. "Dad?" he gasped.

"I think the question you're looking for is 'where have you been'?" God smiled.

Gabriel slowly shook his head, still too surprised to truly react. "Not like I really expect you to answer. Never were big on explanations," he said with surprisingly little resentment.

"Sometimes we need to make our own choices," God replied. His expression turned serious. "My Word went unquestioned for so long, it was time for a change."

Gabriel resisted the urge to chuckle, more amused than bitter. "Really, Dad? Did you actually think that going MIA without a trace was going to turn out well?"

With a sad-sounding sigh, God replied, "I wish things had turned out better. I wasn't always paying attention when I should have. Don't doubt that I have regrets, Gabriel."

The angel did chuckle at that. "So you make mistakes – _that's_ really gonna screw with some minds."

"But not all." God smiled. "Many of my children have learned to think for themselves. However, I had underestimated the need for guidance." His gaze turned skywards.

Considering the implication of those words, Gabriel said, "Castiel says it's a mess up there. Probably could use a Fatherly visit." _Or a kick in the ass,_ he thought.

God's attention returned to Gabriel, His stare more intense, more _knowing_ than any being Gabriel had ever encountered. "I have a couple things to do first. Gabriel, I'm sorry that I didn't come for you. I have no explanation to satisfy your questions in that regard. But it was not your time to die, you have just as much work left to do as Castiel."

Wary, but also grateful to hear he was still cared for, Gabriel said, "Gee, Dad, weren't we just talking about free will?"

"Maybe I just believe in second... and third chances." The teasing note faded from His voice when God continued; "Kali could not make you whole. If you wish, I can."

Surprised, Gabriel hesitantly asked, "What's the catch?"

"I cannot simply fill in the gaps. If you agree, it will be painful. It will be as if you died again, and you will be aware of your spirit and vessel being made anew." God watched carefully as Gabriel let the significance of that sink in.

Gently, God added, "You changed for the better, Gabriel. I could feel your strength, your happiness, for the first time in thousands of years."

Gabriel was shaken by the implication. Despite the trickle of fear he felt, the angel put on his game face and asked cheekily, "So what's there to lose?"

God stepped forward with a small smile. "You will forget nothing. Bless you, child." For one long, precious moment Gabriel felt his Father's kiss on his vessel's forehead.

Then came the indescribable explosion of his undoing.

*

Gabriel felt the millions of fractured pieces of his Grace explode outward before crashing against a barrier that kept his essence from scattering to the universe. Mismatched jagged edges scraped against each other as the barrier contracted. Gabriel _hurt_ without knowing _what_ hurt. He only recognized pain and the fact that _this wasn't right_. Either he was meant to be whole in life or returned to the dust of the universe in death. This in-between wasn't a real state-of-being.

Slowly, so excruciatingly slowly, the right pieces began to fit and a sense of coherency started to return. He realized he was screaming. The pieces of himself that Kali had woven together slipped into place first. As jagged edges smoothed, the indescribable pain eased slightly to a deep ache. His screams faded as his attention turned to the memories quickly piling on top of one another.

The missing fragments began to fill in, details of scenes that had been forgotten from the distant past; often things so small that Gabriel had hardly noticed their absence.

The closer his thoughts spun to the present, the more detailed the memories became. Gaps began to fill and Gabriel found himself popping through his custom-made TV realm for the Winchesters. Finally the extra details filed into place, and with every passing moment he could feel his Grace glowing brighter and the deep-set ache fading away.

*

Over a month had passed since the Winchesters had managed to trick the Trickster and exposed his true identity. Gabriel's initial anger had faded, the last simmering remains saved for the coward accusation Dean had tossed his way before leaving. He was many things, but a coward wasn't one of them.

 _"It doesn't have to be like that. There has to be some way to, to pull the plug,"_ Sam had said when Gabriel expressed his desire for the fight to go down and be done with. The younger Winchester had been the one hopeful for a new ally even though he didn't look surprised when faced with Gabriel's refusal.

The hunters had walked out of the warehouse and Castiel followed with only the briefest of glances back. As utterly hopeless as their little team's mission to derail the Apocalypse was, the trio didn't seem to be backing down. Well, the Winchesters always had been stubborn bastards, not like he should expect that to change. Nor had they ever done well with having their convictions challenged.

 _They really think there's a way to get out of this without killing each other and without the world ending._ He'd been thinking about that for weeks.

Gabriel sincerely doubted their ability to defy destiny, but he couldn't deny to himself that he would prefer the world to stay as is – chaotic and lively. What Michael and Lucifer had planned... in his heart Gabriel doubted their Father truly wished the same. Unfortunately, running off without a word meant tacit approval and those most capable of stopping the impending mess were disinclined to do so.

 _Leaving, of course, a collection of tenacious misfits._

He'd gambled in the past and no one had ever accused him of being predictable. Nothing said he'd have to abandon witness protection or bind himself indefinitely to the anti-destiny team. _Shit. What the hell do I lose except a bit of time?_

It took very little time to figure out where he could meet up with the brothers. If the angels had even the slightest understanding of the Winchesters, they'd have the boys prepped and ready for The End. _Another point to you humans,_ Gabriel thought wryly. He popped into a small Midwestern town with a hunt sure to attract the brothers' attention.

"We'll just wait and see, boys."

*

It hadn't been any particular thing that won Gabriel over and made him stay. Eventually he noticed the others had stopped thinking of him as an interloper only to realize he'd stopped thinking as an outsider long before that. However, as much as the whole team accepted Gabriel, Sam connected with him the best. The reverse was also true.

Gabriel first became aware of the depth of his connection with Sam in the aftermath of Famine's effects. The archangel had turned up at Singer's in time to hear Sam yelling and screaming in the panic room. Bobby sat on the porch nursing a whiskey bottle. Dean alternated between pacing the house and walking through the salvage yard. Castiel stood vigil outside the panic room. All of them looked like death warmed over and Sam, when Gabriel finally saw him, looked even worse.

Seeing Sam like that flipped some sort of mental switch for Gabriel. He was acutely aware of the worry he'd felt during the human's screaming fits; for the first time Gabriel felt angry at himself for not being around to help earlier; he felt relieved and proud that Sam had turned Famine's game around on the Horseman. Most significantly, Gabriel felt a surge of affection and protectiveness as the hunter relaxed in his arms.

To all appearances, Sam recovered quickly from the incident with Famine. While Gabriel could fully agree that the younger Winchester was holding together, he knew things were far from fine. It was obvious to see Dean losing steam and Castiel falling further into desperation whereas Sam presented a constant front of determination. Gabriel respected that strength, and goodness knew their little team needed someone to maintain hope, but he hated how Sam seemed to have shouldered the weight alone.

It had been a long time since Gabriel had much cared about other people. He'd spent centuries wrapped up in himself and maintaining emotional distance from others. Times had changed, however, and he found himself wanting to offer Sam a respite. He liked the human, cared for him in a way Gabriel didn't want to examine too closely.

So that was why when Sam needed rescuing from a persistent admirer, Gabriel took the opportunity to kiss the human and pull him away – from everything.

" _Take_ a little, Sam. Just us here, and I’m offering. Take it or leave it." The angel didn't look too closely at the rush of relief he felt when Sam accepted.

*

It was around the time that the Winchesters were handling the fallout of a zombie awakening near home base (a.k.a. Singer's place) that Gabriel had a novel idea. It was just the right sort of Winchester-crazy to work, too. It should have occurred to him earlier, but he had reckless humans and a complicated brother to take care of. In addition, he was working on stepped-up warding tactics to hide the trio and himself.

It took a bit of browsing through Singer's notes while the humans slept for Gabriel to get a clue. Singer had continued to monitor signs of the Horsemen while the rest of the team focused elsewhere. Reading the hunter's notes about War's and Famine's rings finally sparked Gabriel's idea.

While breaking the seals had led to Lucifer's release, the Cage could be locked another way. Combined, the Horsemen's rings opened the door. Opening the Cage meant a chance at shoving Lucifer back in – a non-lethal method of stopping the fallen archangel.

Given that the Winchesters had already managed the improbable and come out on top with the rings of two of the Horsemen, Gabriel actually didn't feel too worried about their chances with Pestilence. (That did not mean he planned on letting the humans, with their fragile physical bodies and weak immune systems, face that particular Horseman without angelic backing.) Death, however, was another matter entirely.

Death was one of the first beings ever in existence, the quintessential partner of creation. Older than God or any other deity, Death would always be around. There was no way to permanently defeat Death, only ways to cheat or harness or bind its powers. Lucifer had needed the power and chaos of the Horsemen and probably managed to bargain with War, Famine, and Pestilence. But with Death, there would be nothing he could offer or threaten, so he must have found a way to harness the ancient being. Gabriel sincerely doubted Death, even with all its patience, cared to be collared.

He knew it would be a longshot, but it was one worth making. Gabriel needed to find Death in whatever form it had currently taken and see if the Horseman would lend its ring in exchange for re-caging Lucifer.

Gabriel needed some backing before he presented the idea to the team. Tracking down the remaining rings and taking possession of the keys would be a bit tricky. Opening the Cage would be the easy part. Getting Lucifer back into the Cage might very well take a miracle.

*

Gabriel couldn't overwrite the concealing sigils Castiel had carved onto the Winchesters' ribs, but he did manage to craft a monitoring spell. He had intended the spell to notify him in case of an emergency; by Winchester standards, that translated to "near death." However, the ability to intervene depended on knowledge of their location. He hadn't exactly known how the spell would work out, he'd made it up as he went along.

At first he didn't understand why it felt like someone was tugging at his shoulder – well, it was less of a physical sensation than a disruption of his attention. Seconds later, when his focus had turned to the tug, he _heard_ a familiar voice gasp, _"Sorry."_

Realization struck like a blow to the chest and Gabriel immediately flew to Castiel's side. "Tell me you know where they are," Gabriel demanded.

Castiel tilted his head with a look of confusion. "Dean has not contacted me. I believe they were quite tired from recent events."

Gabriel clenched his fists in frustration. "Shit. Cas..." _Sam's dead,_ he tried to say, but the words wouldn't come. He took a moment to center his thoughts and reached out for the monitoring spell. No response from Dean, either. "Castiel, they're dead."

Castiel's eyes widened and for a few moments Gabriel saw a wealth of emotions rush across his face.

"I don't know anything else," Gabriel continued, "those damn sigils— _Something_ obviously found them. Shit, we're going to be in a damn race to find them first. Heaven and Hell are going to be searching the instant they hear and news travels fast." Given the Winchesters' importance, not to mention their penchant for not staying dead, there was no doubt in Gabriel's mind that they would be back. The problem lay in _how_ they returned and who got to them first.

"Their presence in Heaven will be detected but..." Castiel looked thoughtful. Gabriel gave him a questioning look. "We have been unable to find God on our own. Joshua could help us."

Incredulous, Gabriel gaped at his brother. "You want the Winchesters running around Heaven looking for Dad's Gardener while a pack of angels gung-ho about the Apocalypse are right on their tails? Bro, you know who has the home field advantage in this. How do you expect them to know what to do, anyway?"

Castiel frowned. "I should be able to make contact with Dean. Unless you will travel to Heaven and find them?"

Gabriel scowled and looked away. He couldn't return and irrevocably expose himself.

"I will attempt to make contact," Castiel repeated. "I could use your help, brother."

Still scowling, Gabriel glanced at Castiel and reluctantly nodded. He could boost his brother's "signal" without announcing his own presence.

For the first time Gabriel felt a disturbing ring of truth in Dean's accusation from months ago: _"This is about you being too afraid to stand up to your family."_

~

The instant Castiel received the brothers' location upon their return from Heaven, the angels took flight. Gabriel's eyes locked on Sam and he strode across the room. The human looked pale and a little dazed as he glanced up from picking at his blood-caked shirt. Gabriel felt ill as he stared at the evidence of the hunter's death.

"We're fine. I'm fine," Sam said, holding his hand up. Gabriel read the gesture as a sign to stay back so he resisted the urge to reach out as he ran a critical gaze over Sam's body.

Dean laughed sharply and the hollow sound caught Gabriel by surprise. "Yeah. Fine. Your Dad's gardener said to fuck off." The archangel turned his stare to Dean in surprise. Sure, Gabriel hadn't really expected Castiel's search to pan out, but his brother's earnestness must have given him some hope.

"He wouldn't..." Castiel's brow furrowed in a look of very human confusion.

"Yeah, well, apparently He would," Dean said.

Gabriel hid his grimace at Castiel's expression of disappointment. He would talk with his brother later, though. He actually had slightly more pressing matters to examine at the moment. Looking back to Sam he asked, "What happened to instigate your little jaunt upstairs?"

Sam grimaced and poked his finger through one of the holes in his shirt. "A couple hunters."

Humans? Gabriel's eyes narrowed. "I know you two can really piss people off, but why were hunters after you?" So help him, they were in for more trouble than they could hope to handle.

"They knew that I started this," Sam said quietly, seeming to hunch in on himself.

Before Gabriel could counter assigning blame, Dean added, "Not just them. They said others are looking for us. Somebody passed along the word." He made a disgusted sound as he looked down at his shirt. "We need to get the hell out of Dodge – after we change."

As the elder Winchester commandeered the bathroom, Gabriel drew closer to Sam. He gently touched the human's chin and got him to look up. "Sam? I'm sure a shower would feel better, but in the name of expediency..." He snapped his fingers, exchanging the hunter's blood-covered clothes with a clean outfit. Gabriel pasted on a smile and was relieved to receive a small one in return.

"That works." Sam stood up and started moving around the room, packing. Gabriel's stare stayed with the human.

Castiel's quiet words disrupted the silence. "Why would our Father stand by and let this happen? Does He want this?" Sam sent Gabriel a worried look.

Sighing quietly, Gabriel said, "Bro... Look, I know everyone's keen on preaching Dad's infallibility but the truth is, He hasn't been interested in stepping in for centuries. The last chat He had with anyone besides Joshua, apparently, was His message to Muhammad." He shrugged dismissively, acting far more casual than he felt. "Millennia spent in a crowd of His children, probably needed a vacation."

It had never been popular for those in Heaven to question God. Gabriel was certain that even with God away, popular opinion would originate from the top and any orders would be obeyed on the assumption that God's Will was being carried out.

Dean stepped out of the bathroom fully dressed. "Sammy, it's all—" He did a double-take as he realized his brother had changed. "Or we could just get out of here." Sam nodded and zipped up his bag.

Gabriel caught their attention by snapping and cleaning away the bloody evidence of death from the beds. Sam looked a little sheepish as he muttered "Thanks."

"Cas?"

They looked over at the angel leaning heavily against the room's divider. Gabriel flinched at the overwhelming sense of dejection emanating from Castiel. "You son of a bitch. I believed—"

Castiel turned around as he dug something out of his pocket. "I don't need this anymore," he said gruffly, tossing the object in his hand to Dean. "It's worthless."

Gabriel didn't know what it was, obviously something Castiel had thought would help find their Father. The flash of hurt across Sam's face made him curious to know the details.

Without another word, Castiel vanished. "Damn it," Sam muttered.

Gabriel wanted to stay; the longing he felt to do so surprised him. He couldn't give into the urge, though, because as much as he didn't want to let Sam out of his sight, Castiel needed his brother.

Gabriel drew close to curl his hand around Sam's arm. He wished he could give in to the urge to kiss the hunter, but Dean didn't know about them and they didn't need to add another complication tonight. "Keep in touch," Gabriel said. He waited for Sam's acknowledgement before he flew off to find Castiel.

*

It was no easy task tracking down a powerful demon on the lam. Gabriel had known Crowley since before the demon had become King of the Crossroads, however, and that combined with Gabriel's blend of angelic and Trickster powers lent him the edge he needed. He sent a simple message with a time and location.

They met at an empty beach house off the Florida keys. They sat on the deck with drinks Gabriel conjured.

Crowley accepted his glass and asked, "What's the occasion? You never struck me as the family reunion type. Or is the frenzy over the prize fight of the millennium simply too much to resist?"

Gabriel had expected the jab at his family and chose to ignore it. "I hear you're on the outs with Lucifer's crew. Not a very popular side you picked."

The demon shrugged, appearing unperturbed. "Lucifer wins, doesn't matter if I support the bastard or not, I'm dead. I happen to like living." He sipped his drink and arched an eyebrow. "But what's it to you?"

"Mutual interest in self-preservation." Gabriel mimicked Crowley's casual shrug. "Well, I'm harder to kill than a cockroach, so it's more... an investment in keeping the world interesting." He grinned.

Crowley rolled his eyes. "Chaos gods, always so full of yourselves. Only thing worse has to be a bloody archangel of judgment masquerading as one."

"Love you two, dick," Gabriel returned.

They drank in silence for a long while. Eventually Crowley motioned for a refill. He leaned back with his full glass and fixed Gabriel with a skeptical stare. "Not pulling for either of your brothers, then?"

"Oh, I have a familial connection," Gabriel answered, smiling a little at the surprise that escaped onto the demon's expression. "Just so happens my little brother is something of an outcast."

"Ah, I see." Crowley's eyes narrowed slightly. "Little lost angel Castiel. He's keeping interesting company."

Gabriel inclined his head. "They do seem a bit ragtag, true. Didn't seem to stop you taking a gamble," he challenged.

"Convenient excuse to get out from under Lucifer's thumb," Crowley dismissed.

"Maybe." Gabriel leaned forward, dropping some of the levity. "You already took a risk, Crowley. It's not like you to leave something partway. You really want to survive this? Invest a little time getting the Winchesters pointed in the right direction."

Gabriel knew he'd let his personal feelings slip into the proposal and that Crowley was more than likely to investigate that information, but if it was enough to intrigue the demon, Gabriel wouldn't complain.

"Throwing your lot in with more than your little brother, then." Crowley finished his drink and stood up. "Our meetings are never boring, I'll give you that."

Gabriel stood as well and tried to gauge the demon's thoughts. "You know me, always fun-loving," he replied. "Michael and Lucifer always were the spoilsports."

Crowley smirked, easily catching onto the archangel's fishing.

"I'll think about it," the demon said before disappearing.

With a sigh Gabriel fell back into a lounge chair and settled in with another drink. He hadn't expected much else from Crowley. Now he had to hope that the demon would join in before it was too late.

*

Dean looked furious as he got into the car and turned to glare at Gabriel. "You asshole! I thought you were dead!"

Gabriel held back a grimace, hoping that Sam had seen through the trick. "You think I'd give Kali my real sword? That thing can kill me!"

"So what do they have in there?"

"A fake! Made it out of diet orange Slice – only time that stuff's good for anything. So hey, go snag our blood, okay?"

Dean looked at him incredulously. "What?"

Gabriel sighed irritably, this really needed to go smoother. "Kali likes you, man. You can get close so grab the plasma and we can vamoose!"

Dean's expression closed off and Gabriel knew he was going to hate whatever came next. "No. Hand over the real blade if you're not going to use it. Someone in there will!"

"You can't be serious," Gabriel scoffed. The only thing he wanted to do was grab Sam (which by extension had to include Dean) and fly the coop. This night was all leading up to something _very bad_ and he wanted everyone away from ground zero. Dean's unwavering determined expression looked a lot like one of Sam's bitchfaces, which meant the hunter was deadly serious. Gabriel tried, "Since when are you butt-buddies with a bunch of monsters? That's all they are to you, right?" So what if a little bitterness crept into his voice?

The hunter dismissed the question with an irritated shrug. "So? You know, they're right, it's nuts but it's the best idea I've heard so far. So if you have a better one, now's the time to fess up. I'm sick of you popping in and acting like you'll eventually deign to help us mere mortals."

Somehow the older Winchester almost always rubbed him the wrong way and riled him up. Certainly Dean's recent track record hadn't endeared him to the archangel. "Screw you, Winchester. Those lemmings in there want to run off a cliff, fine. But Sammy, me, and your idiotic self are getting out of here. Listen for once in your damn life and grab the blood!"

"I see right through you, you know," Dean said. "You have this whole 'don't give a crap' thing going on, and you keep smart-mouthing those guys in there, but those freaks are your family."

"They stabbed me in the frigging heart!"

"So has Sam," Dean shot back. They glared at each other for a while, Dean's angry breathing the only sound.

"Damn it, Gabriel. You care for those freaks, you like the world, and you still won't take a fucking stand!"

Gabriel grabbed the collar of Dean's shirt tightly and got right up in his face. "I chose a side, boy. I'm in this shit nice and deep."

Although Dean was obviously uneasy, he held his ground and retorted, "Maybe you're leaning our way, but I sure as shit don't see you making the commitment that could end all this."

Gabriel grit his teeth as he shoved Dean away. The human bumped against the steering wheel. "What you want from me..." Gabriel trailed off, tone dangerous and low. "I can't kill my brother."

"Can't or won't?" Dean had the audacity to demand. Gabriel stared at him, speechless. He was appalled that the hunter apparently disregarded that their roles could very easily be the same. Dean snorted and muttered, "That's what I thought." He got out of the car and slammed the door closed. He didn't look back as he strode away.

Not even a full minute had passed when Gabriel felt the change. He stared at the hotel's sign as he let the realization sink in that his brother had arrived. He bought himself a little time, twisting time to form a small bubble set apart from reality where Lucifer would slaughter his way through Gabriel's desperate pseudo-family of pagan deities before turning to the Winchesters.

Gabriel groaned as he finally acknowledged the inevitable. He had to choose Lucifer and Michael or the world and its wealth of life. He had to make the choice: Lucifer or Sam.

He flew into one of the rooms, it looked like a prime set for a porno, really, and on a lark he materialized a copy of _Casa Erotica 13_ to leave his just-in-case message behind. He had precious few minutes left; already he could sense the massacre had begun outside his pocket of time. He took a breath, then pasted on a smirk and started recording.

"Sorry Dean, this probably isn't the video you're looking for."

*

The memories following his revival passed quickly. As the final pieces fell into place, Gabriel regained awareness of his surroundings and God's presence. For the first time since leaving Heaven Gabriel stood in his true form, wings unfettered and fully spread. His Father, still inhabiting the Prophet, watched with an indulgent smile as Gabriel folded himself into the dimensions of his vessel.

"Welcome back," God greeted.

Gabriel's thoughts whirled as he processed the flood of information and sensation. Gradually he felt less dizzy and re-centered himself. Thoughts of Sam occupied the forefront of his mind, and instinctively he reached out to try and sense the human's location.

God cleared His throat. "I believe you'll want Bobby Singer's."

Gabriel just barely managed to keep himself from instantly taking off. "Thanks, Dad," he said. "I'd stay and chat, but there's somewhere I need to be." He didn't try to hide his restlessness.

"Go." God smiled, and Gabriel took flight.

*

Gabriel landed in the living room and was surprised to notice the sunlight streaming through the windows. He wondered how long it had taken God to resurrect him.

"Oh, hell. What do you want?" The less than enthusiastic greeting drew Gabriel's attention to the couch where Bobby and Crowley sat.

As soon as Gabriel met the demon's stare, Crowley's eyes widened slightly and he put a hand on the hunter's arm. Gabriel's gaze darted to the intimate gesture and smirked a little.

"Figured it out?" Crowley asked.

Ignoring the confused hunter, Gabriel replied, "With a little help." He turned his focus to trying to listen for clues of where Sam was.

Crowley smirked knowingly. "Outside with the damn car."

Gabriel popped outside without replying. He stayed near the house, just watching for a few minutes. Dean leaned over the engine of the Impala. Sam, his back to Gabriel, leaned against a pickup bed nearby with a toolbox and a couple of beers.

Neither brother noticed his presence and Gabriel took advantage of the time to try getting his emotions under control. He'd be throwing Sam another curveball and the angel didn't know if he'd end up only causing more pain.

Dean straightened up, wiping his hand on a rag. He glanced at the house and his gaze caught on the archangel. Immediately noticing his brother's tense body language, Sam stood and turned. He visibly paled. The look of apprehension on Sam's face made Gabriel's heart ache.

Dean switched to full-on protection mode and placed himself between Gabriel and his brother. Expression stormy, he demanded, "What the fuck do you want?"

This wasn't about Dean, and Gabriel quickly determined that Crowley could clarify things or at least restrain the hunter until he calmed down. "Dean, shove off and give me some privacy with your brother." Gabriel snapped his fingers and sent the hunter inside.

Sam eyed him suspiciously but didn't move away when Gabriel took a step forward. Gabriel licked his lips nervously but refused to break eye contact. Just loud enough to carry, he repeated the words he'd said months ago at Elysian Fields, "Better late than never, huh?" Sam's eyes widened a little and Gabriel saw a spark of nervous hope flare up momentarily.

Gabriel moved closer, one slow step at a time. "You asked why I kept coming back." He stopped close enough to touch. When Sam remained still, Gabriel cupped a hand behind Sam's neck and placed his other over Sam's tattoo.

Pushing onto his toes so he could reach, Gabriel murmured against Sam's lips, "Because of you. I keep coming back for you."

Warm arms wrapped around him tightly and Gabriel surged up to meet the desperate kiss. Gabriel's palm pressed against his sigil, and he let a thread of Grace trace over the mark.

 

~*Fin*~

**Author's Note:**

> There is a sequel in-progress.
> 
> Huge thanks to wolfish_willow for volunteering to beta for me, that was a major help and solved several issues! Additional gratitude to my roomie, who came to my rescue when I struggled with how to write the remaining couple of scenes that needed to be filled in and make the story complete. (Plus she's been my SPN-watching buddy, and I started to watch the show in large part because she had it available and recommended it.)
> 
> To my artist, I was so excited to see you request my fic! I'm greatly honored. Thanks also for some additional feedback for me to mull over as I revised.


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